My Bloody Valentine (2009)★★★★☆


I feel a little guilty rating this one 4 out of 5 because I liked it mostly for how over-the-top ridiculous it was. And it was way over-the-top ridiculous.

My biggest regret is not having gone to see this in 3D when it came out in theaters. I think that experience would’ve had me on the floor laughing. As it is, it’s one of those movies you can tell was made to take advantage of 3D – watching it on a tiny screen (while wearing headphones) without 3D means that some of the climactic scenes don’t really land. I mean, a pickaxe coming towards your face? Scary. A pickaxe moving around the center of your iPad screen? Not so much.

I thought most of the changes to the story from the original were interesting (in a good way) and gave the movie a more well-rounded story (with some real character development). I was glad they got rid of the nonsensical Valentine’s Dance piece of the plot, and I also appreciated the few nods to the original film (like the scene with the washing machine). Seriously though, why do people ever think it’s a good idea to hang out in an abandoned mine? Especially one people have died in. Nothing good can come of that.

There was definitely more blood and gore in this one than in the original. And more boobs. And slightly less soap opera drama. I like Jensen Ackles and Kerr Smith, and while I have mixed feelings about Jaime King, I thought she was okay in this one. All in all, while I found myself laughing out loud more than screaming in terror, I genuinely enjoyed this one.

And I will totally go see it in theaters if they ever rerelease it in 3D.