Scary Stories (from a Dark Allie)

So…I thought this would be a better movie than it was. As a thriller, it’s a two-star film. As a mystery and drama, maybe I could give it an extra star, but it’s not very thrilling, and as a “scary story” it’s barely two stars.

I swear when I first saw this movie I liked it much better. Maybe I was just feeling more generous. It was a little hard to get through this time…but I think the story is interesting enough that it earns three stars instead of two. It’s close, though.

I went into this not knowing anything about it except the short blurb, and not really knowing what to expect. And I liked it!

So…I’ve seen this movie now. It seems like a lot of people really like it. I…well, I watched the shit out of it.

I have never SO BADLY wanted a franchise to be good and done with forever as much as this one. Not because this was a bad movie, but because it was a good one. Please, let it end on a good note.

Ugh, honestly, has there been any franchise I like more than Insidious? I have not rated an Insidious movie less than 4 stars yet, and this one isn’t the one to change that. I guess we’ll see how tomorrow’s movie does, but for now, I just…clearly I love this series.

So I originally watched this last week, because it shows up on a bunch of lists for “best scary movies set on the 4th of July,” but…this movie is NOT set on the 4th of July. Who wears winter coats and hats in July in Philadelphia? No no, this film takes place on and around “Liberty Day”…but given the climax with the big parade with fireworks and Uncle Sam and ALLLLLLL the red, white, and blue throughout the movie, I can definitely see why it’s on a lot of lists. Even if they’re wrong.

Okay, July is definitely turning out much better than most of June! I liked this one! I was originally going to say that it was less strictly “horror” than I expected (especially considering the cover art!), but the “horror” definitely picked up towards the end. Honestly this movie was so much fun.

So, I think this movie wins for making me cry the hardest of any movie I’ve watched this year. Actually, I don’t recall crying for ANY other movie I’ve written about this year. And I’m a BIG crier, especially for movies.

I’ve always liked this movie. I’m actually surprised I didn’t review it in 2016, since it’s been around for years! I think I actually read the short story, probably when I was much younger and into splatterpunk? But this movie is fun. And gory. Very gory. Like, take as much gore as you would expect from a horror movie and then add some.

This is a weird movie. I think I liked it better this time around. The first time I watched it, I may not have been quite “ready” for a slow-burn film about being stuck in a room with your family, no clear way out or idea when (or if) you’ll be rescued.

This is another movie that I liked, but I don’t have too much to say about it.

I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. It’s got the feeling of a slow-burn horror, but it’s reasonably paced and I liked it! It’s not perfect, especially when it comes to some of the reveals, but I genuinely enjoyed it.