Scary Stories (from a Dark Allie)

In honor of the fact that I’m being eaten alive by mosquitoes this month, I watched yet another “eco-horror” movie.

Sadly, it doesn’t seem like eco-horror is quite my cup of tea. I liked this one about as much as Long Weekend and Day of the Animals, which is to say…not very much.

Similarly to last night’s movie, I liked this movie more than I expected, but it kind of fell apart at the end.

I liked this movie more than I expected. Turns out I really like Zach Gilford in scary things! I also like Amanda Crew, and while I don’t think I’ve seen either Alisha Wainwright or Carlos Santos in much before, I liked them both here. And the kids…well, there was definitely something wrong with them, but not with their performances.

I feel like it’s been a long time since I’ve mentioned and appreciated some understated opening credits, but that’s what immediately struck me about this movie. I liked the tense opening music and the old-school style font! I was also a little surprised to see Drew Barrymore’s name in the opening as an executive producer! So this movie got off to a good start.

I don’t think I like this movie as much as Midsommar, but I still like it quite a bit. So it’s maybe a low four stars for me. It definitely feels as long as it is, but there’s a LOT packed into those two hours.

So, this movie is not without its problems, but…I liked it a surprising amount. I thought Ashley Benson did a great job as Emma, who goes through most of this film unaware of what’s happening around her (while the audience is placed in a voyeuristic position). And the more you see of her just going about her normal days…honestly, the scarier the film gets.

So, Alien: Romulus is coming out in theaters next month, which means it’ll probably be another couple of months until I get around to watching it at home, but I am excited for it! So I’m (re)watching this in anticipation, and because it wasn’t yet released in 2016.

I really wanted to like this one. I’d never seen it before, but I love John Carpenter and I like a lot of cult-favorite films! But I didn’t really like this one.

So…I thought this would be a better movie than it was. As a thriller, it’s a two-star film. As a mystery and drama, maybe I could give it an extra star, but it’s not very thrilling, and as a “scary story” it’s barely two stars.

I swear when I first saw this movie I liked it much better. Maybe I was just feeling more generous. It was a little hard to get through this time…but I think the story is interesting enough that it earns three stars instead of two. It’s close, though.

I went into this not knowing anything about it except the short blurb, and not really knowing what to expect. And I liked it!

So…I’ve seen this movie now. It seems like a lot of people really like it. I…well, I watched the shit out of it.

I have never SO BADLY wanted a franchise to be good and done with forever as much as this one. Not because this was a bad movie, but because it was a good one. Please, let it end on a good note.