Scary Stories (from a Dark Allie)

Happy 4th of July! Here’s a VERY silly on-theme movie for you.

I can see why this was direct-to-video, but I can’t honestly tell why this was made at all. It’s the shortest of the three films, and also the most boring.

You know, I had already watched this recently (past couple years, I think?) for some reason, and even still had forgotten how fun and funny this one is. I think I may have watched it after some video talking about Jack Black’s ridiculous character? Who definitely adds to the fun, by the way.

Hello, July! I can’t believe six months of 2024 have already passed! I’m not sad to leave June’s movie picks behind me, though.

I’ll be honest, I’m feeling a little bad about the lower rating on this one. I was convinced nostalgia was going to give this one a boost! But I genuinely found this movie boring when I watched it today. I have zero memory of how much I liked it when I first saw it many many years ago, but it’s kind of a newer slasher classic, so I probably enjoyed it some?

Okay, I’m glad June pulled itself together for the last week or so (and I guess the first week was pretty good too, so I really just picked a bunch of duds for the middle of the month?).

Okay, this is a longer movie that feels long, and definitely has its parts that drag on…but Elisabeth Moss is just SO GOOD that it’s hard to give this one anything under four stars. Plus it was directed by Leigh Whannell of Insidious and Saw fame!

It’s probably no surprise that I like this one better than the original. I mean, it was directed (and written) by the Soska sisters, of American Mary fame, and it’s no secret how much I love that movie. And while this movie does NOT have Katharine Isabelle, it has Laura Vandervoort, whom I’ve already mentioned at least once this year. And Stephen McHattie!

I actually saw the 2019 remake of this movie (which I’ll be watching tomorrow) before ever seeing this one, and honestly…it’s weirder. Which I think is interesting! The remake somehow out-weirds David Cronenberg!

I know I’ve already made this clear, but again, obviously I don’t hate ALL movies that are over two hours. I liked this one! It wasn’t perfect, but it was mostly well-paced, and when a movie doesn’t FEEL like it drags on, it can keep going, I’m on board.

Ugh, really, this is just a mostly bad month for me. You would think it would be easier to get through a movie that’s less than an hour and a half long, and yet…