Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)★★☆☆☆

It is cold and dry when I’m watching this, and honestly that’s kind of how I feel about this movie? My eyes are tearing up trying to hold on to some moisture but this movie kind of makes me want to cry…from boredom?

No, okay, it’s not actually that bad. But it’s not that good either. The best part of this is looking at all the brand-name toys in the 1984 toy store! How did Disney allow so much Mickey Mouse with so many boobs and so much blood? And separately, has anyone played Mousetrap recently?

This movie is short, and there is some campiness that’s kind of fun, but most of it drags on. It is festive though, so I guess it’s not the worst possible start to a bunch of holiday-themed movies.