The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1995)★★☆☆☆

Wow, this was a pretty bad movie. It had enough scares and plot and silly moments to earn it two stars, but definitely no more.

I don’t even really know what to say about this movie. It was LOUD. And like, a busy loud. Like the filmmakers were hoping to distract you so much you couldn’t form your own thoughts about the movie while watching it. There’s just so much wordless screaming. SO MUCH SCREAMING.

And a lot of running and hiding. Like half this movie is just one character being chased by another character for long stretches of time?

I guess everyone was fine in it. I definitely didn’t believe 1995 Renee Zellweger was a high school student (none of the teenagers looked like teenagers), but I didn’t otherwise have a problem with her performance.

Matthew McConaughey on the other hand…I don’t even know what to make about his performance in this. I KNOW he can act! He’s in a pretty good scary movie that I’ll have to review later this year, he was great in A Time to Kill and Contact, and Dazed and Confused was one of my favorite movies before I was old enough to understand half the dialogue.

But this was not his shining moment. It wasn’t anyone’s shining moment, I suppose. And to be fair, it seemed like he was having a hell of a good time in the role. It just somehow felt even more over-the-top in a film that was already over-the-top itself?

But you do get an “All right, all right, all right” from him here. Maybe that’s the whole reason for the second star, actually.