Scary Stories (from a Dark Allie)

I like this one quite a bit, though I have very little to say about it.

Today being the birthday of one of my favorite people, I decided this movie would be a good choice. Note that the honor is in the title only and not the content. And perhaps also in how much I liked this movie. Because I like it quite a bit.

Wow, this movie was bad. Laughably bad, but not so bad it’s funny or so bad it’s good – it’s really bad. I was lured by the promise of Mischa Barton and Rebecca De Mornay in it, and they were in it all right – but it was still bad.

I like this one, though definitely more for the cast than the scare factor.

Honestly, I think the only reason they went the horror direction is so they had a (reasonably) good reason to keep Christina Ricci naked on a table for most of the film. Not that I’m complaining.

I would rate this movie at four out of five just for the acting in it. I try not to use the word “superb” lightly, but I feel like everyone in this film just did a superb job.

I always liked this one, though its PG rating is a bit deceiving (it’s another from before the PG-13 rating existed).

Wow. This is a stupid addition to the “let’s play a game” genre. And I mean stupid.

I’m feeling better tonight, finally. Getting over this cold or sinus infection or something.

Anyway, this movie wasn’t so bad. I definitely was able to sit through these with much less trouble than the last few Saw movies.

And the very end? I guess I should have seen that one coming. Well done.

So I suppose this is the Fast and the Furious of the Final Destination franchise. Or, I’m sorry, it’s probably The Fast and the Furious since it’s The Final Destination.

What does that mean anyway? That they thought it really would be the last in the franchise but then decided they couldn’t resist making just one more?

Anyhow, I will say one thing for this franchise – it knows how to entertain. And it has Tony Todd. So I guess that’s two things.

So we’re getting to the point in the franchise where I start to wonder…is there a point to the franchise? There’s nothing new here.

While it’s vaguely reminiscent of the Saw franchise in that the appeal is largely in the intricate death scenes, this franchise seems to be marketed towards a completely different target audience.

The Saw franchise is torture porn, through and through, but somehow the Final Destination franchise feels more about survival than torture. The stars of these films are the ones trying to make it out – see the other side of “death’s design” as they call it.

I’m a bit sick this weekend and looking at computer screens isn’t helping so I’ll be brief.

This is a decent sequel, though it feels a bit more dated – it’s like they try to use technology to seem hip (like…Mapquest) but it’s not working so well over a decade later.

Was it a necessary sequel? Not really, but few are. Still, this one was reasonably well acted and reasonably entertaining.

I don’t have much to say about this one but it definitely takes me back. I remember when this came out! I don’t think I saw it in theaters, but I know I liked it because I had a huge crush on Devon Sawa (I mean, so did most of the other girls in school at the time).

Anyway, it’s well paced, interesting, and well acted (y’know, for a bunch of post-teenagers trying to play high schoolers). It was really scary the first time I saw it (I mean, Tony Todd is in it!) but less so the second, third, or fifteenth time. I’d still recommend it pretty broadly if you’re into scary movies – it holds up pretty well 16 years later!

I’m feeling less sleepy tonight (I caught up on sleep last night!) but I have very little to say about this one.