Scary Stories (from a Dark Allie)

It’s almost like I can’t get enough of Joel Schumacher or something!

Sadly I don’t have too much to say about this one. It had an okay concept but the cast was weird and the group chemistry was off.

On the other hand, I really liked the soundtrack. And Lynn Collins as a (suicide) blonde.

Yes, this is kind of a weird movie. But it’s a Sam Raimi movie, so kind of weird is to be expected. I’d be worried if it weren’t kind of weird, in fact.

And I like it. It’s not the scariest movie I’ve seen, but it does have its moments. I mean, Justin Long as a professor? Terrifying!

But all joking aside, there’s a lot of joking in this movie. It’s silly and irreverent and overall is just good entertaining fun.

Sadly, this was another uninspired entry in this franchise that certainly hasn’t inspired me to write anything.

Oh, but it did have Julie Benz, so there’s that.

This was a silly movie. And not the good kind of silly.

Which isn’t to say it was all bad – it did have its cute moments and some of the jokes were okay.

Mostly, though, it seemed like a bunch of racist (or racist-adjacent? they were at least questionable) jokes and a mediocre cast.

I actually thought it was reasonably interesting until it was three-quarters of the way finished and nothing remotely scary had happened.

On the surface this has all the makings of a good movie. It’s a Joel Schumacher horror film starring Michael Fassbender (with Henry Cavill and Dominic Purcell thrown in as well).

Sadly it just didn’t grab me the way Schumacher’s other films have. It was about halfway in before I felt it even got interesting.

It definitely wasn’t Michael Fassbender’s fault, though. That man can be seriously creepy when he wants to be, and he definitely wanted to be in this one.

Maybe it’s that thing I have for Kiefer Sutherland (or Oliver Platt), but I’ve always liked this movie.

Perhaps it’s because Joel Schumacher seems to have a thing for Kiefer Sutherland as well? Regardless, Joel Schumacher does know how to entertain me.

Okay, the last scene and the end credits score are a bit cheesy, but it actually feels like a nice payoff to all the tension build up here.

The acting is great – aside from Platt and Sutherland there’s also Julia Roberts, Kevin Bacon, and Billy Baldwin to round out a rather spectacular cast. Everyone was believable and pretty impressive here.

There’s a lot I like about this movie. It’s got Amy Smart and Ethan Suplee, for one (or two). And Ashton Kutcher is actually pretty good in it as well. Oh! And I’d forgotten Cameron Bright is in this – a small but important role he plays adeptly.

This is another movie where I really like the concept but the implementation falls a bit flat.

It’s definitely not the cast here. Katheryn Winnick is great in horror movies, and this one is no exception. She can cry on demand like very few other actresses I’ve seen. Believably, too!

I also like that she generally gets to play the smart (well, at least relatively) one in many of her roles. Or at the very least, the one with the best survival instinct. Without spoiling too much, that’s true here as well.

I might have a thing for Mischa Barton. It’s weird, though, because I’m not sure she’s a great actress. She seems to get cast as the somewhat spoiled, mildly haunted teenager/young adult in everything she’s ever done. I guess she pulls that off pretty well, though.

Cameron Bright, on the other hand, is a pretty great actor. Especially for someone so young. He’s been in several things and I’ve always been really impressed.

This one was okay. I’m glad I’m spacing these out to one a week because I think I’m already burned out on Saw movies.

On the one hand, I feel like this director has finally hit his rhythm with this franchise. There weren’t as many artsy effects or weird close-ups as there have been in the past two films. I’m a little disappointed that this is the last film in the franchise from this director.

I have some problems with this movie but it’s above average in terms of entertainment value. As far as movies about a bunch of strangers waking up together in a room and realizing they’re totally screwed go…this one’s pretty good.

The cast is full of mostly unfamiliar faces – IMDb tells me they’re mainly from soap operas and single-episode TV drama cameos. The only face I really recognized was Maria Olsen, and I just learned her name tonight. As it turns out her IMDb filmography reads like a to-watch list for this blog, so you might be hearing more about her in the future.

So, I don’t know…I have mixed feelings about this one. It’s been really hot this month and last, so I felt like this was an appropriate film choice to express how I’ve been feeling lately.

(Spoilers ahead, probably.) On the one hand, this scenario is basically my personal hell. Trapped in a sauna with no phone, with no way to hydrate myself or keep cool, and with three really boring people? Nope nope nope.

I’ve recently been watching The West Wing for the first time ever (I know, I know) so it’s appropriate that I’d watch a movie starring Tim Matheson. He’s much more likable in this as Jim Norman than he is in The West Wing, though, which is probably for the best.

This definitely watches like a Stephen King story, although it’s another I haven’t read. The premise is reasonably interesting but after watching the movie I don’t feel the need to read it also. Which isn’t to say the movie isn’t interesting – it is interesting. And well acted. And, for the most part, with nicely done background music.