Scary Stories (from a Dark Allie)

This was another Netflix recommendation, and I have to say that Netflix has been on point lately. I really enjoyed this one.

The opening sequence was neat, and the background music was perfect. I also figured it was off to a great start when the opening credits listed Isla Fisher, Gillian Jacobs, John de Lancie, Jim Parsons, and Eva Longoria, and I was not disappointed. Everyone in the cast was awesome.

In contrast to the original, 2013’s Evil Dead is a movie that speaks to me. It’s a darker take than the 1981 film, it’s definitely scarier, and I like it a lot. I saw it in the theater with a bunch of friends opening week (something I almost never do), and since then it’s been one of the few several horror movies I find myself watching over and over and over again.

The movie lures you in with a powerful start and stays strong throughout. The effects are well done, the pacing is comfortable, and the cast is awesome (and should be familiar to some horror fans). Jane Levy (as Mia) was one the only one I hadn’t seen in anything else before this, and I was really impressed with her performance.

I have a secret. I’ve been worried about admitting it to all of you, but I think the time has come. I…am not a huge fan of The Evil Dead.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Bruce Campbell. I liked Evil Dead 2, and I really liked Army of Darkness, but somehow the original just doesn’t do anything for me.

I liked this one. It wasn’t anything spectacular, it wasn’t anything really original, and it wasn’t anything to keep me up at night, but it was really entertaining.

My first thought was “wow, what an interesting title screen.” I liked the weird music and the creepy font. The movie then opened with a bang, and was well-paced throughout. The creepy factor builds and builds until you’re at the edge of your seat wondering what’s next.

I realize that beavers and groundhogs are different animals, but there are apparently no horror movies about groundhogs (although according to IMDb, there will be one next year!). So for Groundhog Day this year, I figured I’d finally get around to watching Zombeavers. And wow. Just wow.

I figured from the trailer and the tagline (“They’ll dam you to hell!”) that I was in for something ridiculous, but I don’t think I was quite prepared for just how ridiculous it was. From the opening sequence with the campy music and animated beavers, to one character yelling “I feel like a Power Ranger!” whilst in the throes of passion, to the actual zombified beavers, everything about this movie was ridiculous. And I loved it.

I went into this one not knowing what to expect. Was it horror? Comedy? Comedy-horror? I was pleasantly surprised to find that whatever it was, it was entertaining and engrossing throughout.

I thought the cast was chosen well, although I did laugh a little at the fake crow’s feet on Malin Akerman’s present-day self. I love Taissa Farmiga, I thought Adam Devine was perfect, and this was by far the most likable character I’ve ever seen Alexander Ludwig play.

I wasn’t expecting much from this one, particularly since it’s a PG-13 rated Michael Bay movie, but I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it.

It’s no great masterpiece by any stretch, but the acting was believable, the special effects were well done and well timed, and the story was interesting.

I really liked this movie. If it weren’t for the confusing number of characters and sometimes hard-to-follow storyline, I’d probably have rated it higher.

And let’s be honest…Brittany Murphy as a psychiatrist was a bit of a stretch (and what was with the terrible hairstyle?), though her temper tantrums were definitely believable. I have seen Brittany Murphy in things where she’s absolutely charming but she seemed a bit absent in this one, and I’m not sure it was in anyone’s best interest to release this one posthumously.

About thirty minutes into this film, I was convinced it was going to be the first movie to only rate 1 out of 5. It was bad enough that I almost stopped watching completely. But I figured I’d need to suffer through a few awful films throughout the year, and this might as well be the first.

Well, while I’m not glad I decided to finish this movie, it did get somewhat better near the end. Watchable, at least. Enough to rate at 2 out of 5 overall.

There’s something about the familiar that can be so scary. I think Candyman has always been particularly scary to me because it’s set in Chicago. I recognize the highways from above, I attended classes in that college, and I stared out my window at Cabrini Green every time we drove to my grandparents’ condo downtown. Everything about the movie (except, thankfully, for the Candyman) is so familiar.

And can I just say that Philip Glass should have done the music for every horror movie ever? That opening sequence is fantastic and incredibly haunting.