Scary Stories (from a Dark Allie)

Well, I have very little to say about this movie.

It’s got a silly premise, over-the-top effects, and a surprisingly great cast. I had forgotten Laura Regan was in this one, and I think I like Ryan Kwanten. Plus Bob Gunton’s cameo was awesome.

I decided to finally watch this today in honor of Presidents’ Day. I’m actually kind of sad I never watched it before. It was great!

I had no idea it had such a great cast. I love Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and though I already knew Anthony Mackie was a badass, he was bad ass in this movie. I hadn’t seen Benjamin Walker in anything before this, but I thought he was great as Abraham Lincoln. Oh, and Alan Tudyk even makes an appearance!

I’m of the opinion that the best way to celebrate any holiday is to curl up with some hot chocolate (or lemonade in the summer) and a good horror movie. Valentine isn’t exactly a good horror movie, but it was entertaining enough and definitely appropriately festive.

Ah, Pontypool. I almost forgot this movie takes place on Valentine’s Day. It’s fitting if you think about it, since the film is really about communication and relationships.

It is such a great movie. Stephen McHattie is wonderful as Grant Mazzy, radio star. There’s such neat character development from inside the radio station as you slowly learn what’s going on outside. The slow pacing of the first third or so of the film picks up once the doctor reveals the cause of the infection (and how it spreads), and from then the action is nearly non-stop until the end credits roll.

I feel a little guilty rating this one 4 out of 5 because I liked it mostly for how over-the-top ridiculous it was. And it was way over-the-top ridiculous.

My biggest regret is not having gone to see this in 3D when it came out in theaters. I think that experience would’ve had me on the floor laughing. As it is, it’s one of those movies you can tell was made to take advantage of 3D – watching it on a tiny screen (while wearing headphones) without 3D means that some of the climactic scenes don’t really land. I mean, a pickaxe coming towards your face? Scary. A pickaxe moving around the center of your iPad screen? Not so much.

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and since I’d never seen any version of My Bloody Valentine (okay, that’s not quite true – I did see the band in concert once), I figured there was no better way to celebrate than to give it a try. While stuffing myself full of candy, of course.

So how was it? Eh, it was okay. Pretty much your standard 80’s slasher fare. As it turns out, the vague details I knew about the movie going into it (there’s a mine, and a killer in a gas mask) were basically the whole movie.

This was an odd movie. It was also a short movie. And unfortunately, it wasn’t a great movie.

The film alternates between found footage of Chris Shaw (his internet claim to fame is that he makes videos debunking paranormal rituals – think Bloody Mary or Candyman) and his friends and random interviews (think talking heads). The switching is a bit disorienting, and the interviews are ridiculous. Seriously – they’re either with a psychic who says things like “blood is literally a person’s life force” or with Chris Shaw’s brother who blames himself for showing Chris the “deep web” (you know, the one he says is under the “surface internet”).

I wanted to celebrate Mardi Gras today by finding a movie somehow related to the holiday, and discovered there are surprisingly few out there. There are several horror movies that use (Louisiana) voodoo and similar folklore to build their story, but very few actually take place during Mardi Gras.

There is a movie called Mardi Gras Massacre, but everything I’ve read about it says it’s awful, and I was hesitant to do my first non-Thursday throwback review for something I knew would be terrible. Then I found that most of the events in this movie take place around Mardi Gras, and decided to make it the first sequel I’ve reviewed (it’s the second movie in the Candyman franchise) and the first throwback review I’ve done on a day other than Thursday. And I’m glad I did, because I mostly liked it.

I remember I was pretty excited for this one when I first saw the trailers. Planes are such a neat setting for stories since there’s nowhere for passengers to escape, and some long-haul international flights get even more interesting when you consider how much time is spent flying literally over seas with minimal options for early landing.

Plus the cast is awesome! Jamie Chung, Ryan Kwanten, and Johnathon Schaech are all great actors, and I’ve always had a thing for Amy Smart (y’know, because she’s Amy Smart… and I’m Allie smart). So I was pretty excited to finally watch it today, and I’m happy to report it did not let me down.

Netflix has been on such a roll lately that I figured I’d give this one a try as well. Sadly, I didn’t enjoy it as much as the other Netflix suggestions I’ve watched recently.

That sad, it was okay. Julianne Hough (Mallory) and Teddy Sears (Christian) both delivered excellent performances, and the car accident (and scenes leading up to it) was harrowing. It also wasn’t entirely predictable; I found myself wondering what was going to happen next at several points during the film.