Scary Stories (from a Dark Allie)

I definitely like the first movie better, but this is a pretty entertaining movie overall. As a sequel it has some problems, but as something to keep you entertained for just over an hour and a half it’s above average. This is mainly because the Creeper is still incredibly creepy, but also because the setting (a broken-down bus on a highway on a road that doesn’t seem to have many other cars) is an interesting one.

Oh. And also because of Ray Wise. Who doesn’t love Ray Wise? Even “old” Ray Wise at the end of the movie is pretty bad ass.

In addition to my penchant for creepy old abandoned buildings (one of which appears in this film, in fact), I also have a penchant for old-timey songs used to incredibly creepy effect. The eponymous song in this film is a stellar example of just that (the version of “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” used in Insidious is another stellar example that I should review here eventually).

So this may sound silly (so business as usual), but Jeepers Creepers is spot on. This movie creeps me out. The Creeper is super creepy, the Creeper’s sewer is super creepy, and the Creeper’s truck is super creepy. There’s a lot about this movie that’s just super creepy. So of course I love it. And of course I’ll probably dream about the Creeper for the next few nights.

I’ve been feeling a bit off this week and today I kind of wanted to watch something silly that I’d seen (and liked) before. Originally I was thinking Planet Terror, but then I remembered it’s Thursday and Planet Terror is definitely not 20 years old yet. So I picked the next best thing.

Can you believe it’s been 20 years since this movie came out? Okay, I’ll be honest, I can totally believe it, especially with how young George Clooney and Juliette Lewis look in it. But you know what? It still holds up.

Much like last month’s, this month’s inaugural movie is related to the month in name only. And, also much like last month’s, I rather liked this movie.

Possibly it’s because I hadn’t seen Victoria Pratt in anything since the TV show Day Break was cancelled. Possibly it’s because I have a secret thing for Casper Van Dien. Or possibly it’s because I really like Eddie Jemison, though I had no idea what his name was until just now.

Before I saw this, my brother told me not to go into this movie with the expectation that it’s a true Cloverfield sequel. He said that’s what he did (and he loves Cloverfield) and was a bit disappointed at the end of the movie. Or confused, at least.

And he’s right – it’s not really a sequel. Oh sure, you could call it that. It’s not impossible to believe that this movie takes place in the Cloverfield universe. It’s just…not really related to the original at all. But that said, it’s still a good movie.

This movie was pretty okay. It felt really slow for the first half hour or so and never quite figured out the right pace to keep the audience engaged.

I love Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It’s one of my favorite comedy films and I’ve seen it a bunch of times. There’s a scene in it where they’re making fun of Kristen Bell’s eponymous character for a terrible horror movie she did about evil cell phones, and I have to imagine this is the movie the writers had in mind for that scene.

And they’re totally right to make fun of it. This movie is pretty ridiculous. But it’s not all bad, and it did keep me reasonably entertained throughout. It’s definitely not Wes Craven’s best film (not even close), and you can tell from the awkward dialogue that the screenplay was his work.

I don’t have too much to say about this one except that I’ve always liked it. It’s creepy and it capitalizes on a couple of my darkest fears – being alone in the dark and feeling like everyone thinks you’re crazy.

Anyway, it’s creepy and interesting and well paced. Laura Regan is always great, and Ethan Embry and Marc Blucas are also pretty good in this. It’s only PG-13 so it’s not too graphic or disturbing, but it’s definitely entertaining. I’d recommend it to anyone who likes a good scare.

I mentioned yesterday that I saw this version first and liked it. And it’s true – while I didn’t really like Michael Bay’s remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street, I did like this one. In fact, aside from seeing his name in the opening credits, there was only one point during this remake where I even remembered that it was a Michael Bay movie (the car crash scene, specifically).

I didn’t realize this until seeing the original, but there were some interesting choices made for this film that I kind of liked. For one thing, it’s clear early on that the gender balance is better in this version – I don’t know if they realized that Sophia Bush would sell better than Zachary Knighton (whose real name I never remember but I just finished watching all of Happy Endings again so I couldn’t help but think of him as Dave Rose) or what, but the character in this one gets an upgrade to girlfriend and road trip companion.

I saw Michael Bay’s remake of this movie a while back (more on that one tomorrow) and didn’t even realize it was a remake until recently so I figured I’d give the original a try. With C. Thomas Howell (as Jim) and Rutger Hauer (as the hitcher) I figured it couldn’t be all bad. And it wasn’t!

There were some interesting choices made in the remake that make more sense now that I’ve seen both films, but I really like both of them. I think I like them in slightly different ways, though. In this one, it’s because Rutger Hauer is a total creeper and C. Thomas Howell is so believably distraught that the whole movie was really compelling.

This movie was just okay. I just saw William Sadler in something else (don’t remember what offhand) and when I saw that he was in this, I figured I’d give it a try. In fact, I hadn’t even heard of this movie until yesterday. I think I was looking around IMDb at other movies and this popped up under one of those “you might also enjoy” headers.

And I guess I enjoyed it. I mean, it was passably entertaining. And reasonably scary. Babyface is a scary killer and some of the torture scenes were definitely terrifying. And the plot was pretty interesting, though I can’t really call it an original.

I really like this one. I remember talking about this one with my friend Art who also really likes this one. It’s the first thing I ever saw AJ Bowen in (whose name I can never match with the face at first), and the first thing I ever saw Sharni Vinson in. And Sharni Vinson is awesome in this movie. She kicks some serious ass.

She kicks so much ass, in fact, that the first time I watched this movie I looked her up and immediately watched as many of her movies as possible. Okay, really I only watched Patrick, which is awesome and also has Charles Dance in it, but that’s a story for another night.

I liked this movie, but it annoyed me too much to rate it any higher than 3 out of 5. For one thing, the opening credits are way over the top. Before anything even happens, you’re listening to this crazy upbeat action movie type of song and the credits are rolling across the screen in giant colorful blocks. It’s weird, and way longer than it needs to be.

The story is somewhat original, but the characters are so boring. I never quite care about the characters enough to be invested in their survival, which makes it hard for me to really like this movie. Overall it’s kind of like a less entertaining version of The Strangers.