Scary Stories (from a Dark Allie)

Well, this is definitely the most surreal of the three V/H/S films. Which seems fitting right now.

Listen, I could say a lot about this movie but let’s be honest: the live results of this election are the scariest thing I’ve watched all year.

VHS seems like a strange concept for an anthology made in 2012. The concept is questionable when the one “tape” contains footage from a secret spy camera in someone’s glasses and even more questionable when another tape contains a recorded FaceTime interaction.

As you might expect of a film called Dog Soldiers, this was pretty silly. But it was silly in the way that only British humor can be. Or perhaps it’s not actually funny, it’s just that I love the British accent so much.

Have you ever had the desire to go off the grid and move to the countryside in the middle of nowhere? This movie will shake that desire out of you pretty quickly. In fact, you might just find yourself shaken in general after watching this one (I certainly did).

I think I have a thing for Pollyanna McIntosh. She’s just so good in everything she does. Well, okay, she’s normally not good (character-wise) but her acting is fantastic. Here was no exception. Well, okay, it was kind of an exception – her character was actually good in this one. (Spoilers ahead) In fact, she was really the only good one in this movie.

I really like this movie. I also really like this book. This is probably my favorite film adaptation of a Stephen King story (though it may be tied with The Shawshank Redemption). It’s definitely one of my favorite Stephen King novels, and I think one of the first of his books that I’ve read.

I watched this movie because until I watched Tales of Halloween I’d never seen anything by Mike Mendez, and since I liked Tales so much I figured I’d have to like his other works at least a little (right?). Luckily I wasn’t wrong!

Wow. Umm…this movie was certainly something. It started out weird and creepy, and ended up REALLY weird and REALLY creepy. Like, over-the-top weird. But that was only the last ten minutes or so, so I’ll forgive that.

I like this movie. It’s another Halloween anthology film, though all four (well, technically five) of the stories are by the same writer and director (Mike Dougherty) in this one. Four stories are called out but Leslie Bibb and Tahmoh Penikett star in the fifth story that’s effectively a prologue (…epilogue).

Normally I have trouble rating anthology films. Often the segments vary in quality, tone, or entertainment value. I had no trouble rating this one, though. Five out of five, no question. Well, some questions.

First of all, I’ll admit right now that I haven’t seen any of the other Halloween sequels, so I’m probably missing some context. That said, you could watch this movie on its own and still follow along with the story.

So. Rob Zombie’s remake of John Carpenter’s Halloween. Sorry, I should say reimagining. In some ways, it reminded me of Michael Bay’s Nightmare on Elm Street remake. But mostly it didn’t remind me of that at all. And mostly I liked this one. I just wish it weren’t so long. It’s really long.