Scary Stories (from a Dark Allie)

I know it’s Easter, but instead of finding something thematically appropriate, I found this. I started watching this one expecting something silly and ridiculous, and that’s exactly what I got. It kind of reminded me of Jennifer’s Body, only not as clever, and much more focused on being sexy than on being scary.

And sure, it was kind of sexy at times. I mean, I feel like the whole plot was just thinly veiled sexual innuendo…and sometimes just blatantly sexual. The story was silly, and it had too many moving parts. Like they wanted to make fun of horror movies and romantic comedies, but kind of missed both boats.

(This whole review is basically spoilers…sorry?) It’s interesting that I picked this one immediately following yesterday’s movie, as it turned out to have a really similar twist. It was done a little better in this one, though not by much. This one did have Eric McCormack in it, though I’ve yet to decide whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Joking aside, the cast was pretty good in this film. The kids were believable, and Eric McCormack actually pretty good as the father. Since much of this movie is about a family dealing with grief and loss, I’m glad to see they got the casting right.

I really wanted this movie to be good. The concept sounded really interesting, and like there were many possible directions to take it. And it’s not like it’s that bad, but it felt really disappointing. Like they had this cool concept that they didn’t really do anything with. Instead, they decide to go in another arbitrary direction instead.

Like I said, it’s not all bad. There are some things this movie does really well. The opening scenes, for example. And I may have mentioned before how much I love a good understated opening credits sequence. And the music is surprisingly well done. I don’t even mind the sad blue filter the whole thing appears to have been filmed with.

Here’s another Stephen King work I haven’t yet read. I should probably get around to it, because a sequel was released a couple years back that’s apparently pretty good. Speaking of which, I should probably also get around to reading the Dark Tower series, what with the film version being talked about now…

Anyhow, if Stephen King plus Stanley Kubrick seems like a win to you, you’re right. And I can’t imagine anyone better than Jack Nicholson to help them out. I mean, even if you’ve never seen this movie, you know Jack Nicholson’s face and his timelessly creepy “Here’s Johnny!” And Jack Nicholson isn’t the only cast member who delivers a stellar performance. Everyone in this movie is spectacular, including little Danny.

This movie was mostly okay. To be honest, I was expecting a little more torture porn, but it was relatively tame. There are a few graphic scenes but nothing over the top or out of place.

The cast was mostly okay. I’d seen a few of the actors in different roles before, but everyone’s character was fairly believable. I did have a problem with the family chemistry though. While the individual characters were fine, as a family I just wasn’t buying it.

I liked this movie a lot. It’s a zombie movie, sort of. (Some spoilers ahead) It’s like this…post zombie apocalypse story of humanity at its worst. And it’s great. The music is well done, the acting is good, and the story is riveting. The pacing is wonderful so the suspense builds and builds and the climactic scenes really pay off.

My only real problem with it was that I kept thinking the guy who played Alex was the guy from Coldplay. Which, all things considered, isn’t the worst possibility?

Yes, another thematically appropriate movie. This one was better than yesterday’s, though. I watched this about a year ago and was surprised at how much I liked it. I think it was because it was a completely different feel than I expected.

I’ve seen Lou Taylor Pucci in a few things before, but he really impressed me in this one. He was so believable and the character development was so well done. And the chemistry between Evan and Louise is incredible. Definitely the right cast for this.

It’s officially the first day of Spring on this side of the world, so I finally watched this one. I’d actually started it on Netflix a couple months back, but stopped when I realized it could be used as a seasonally-appropriate choice a short time later.

But I must have misjudged how much was left of the movie when I stopped it, because I swear there were only about ten minutes I hadn’t already seen. Maybe I was expecting it to get interesting all of a sudden? Maybe I was distracted the first time and didn’t realize how long I’d been watching? It was kind of a letdown to have waited so long for so little.

This is a silly movie. I remember being excited for it when the trailer came out, back when it was still called The Helpers. Maybe that title seemed too bleak for the movie? No Vacancy is such a boring title, and way too close to Vacancy to be original (and actually, I kind of liked Vacancy, I may need to watch that one next now that I think about it).

Anyway, I spent most of the day at the (first ever!) Silicon Valley Comic Con, so I didn’t want to watch anything that would make me think too much. I rented this on Amazon tonight since I figured it would be some good old-fashioned violence and murder, and I was right. And speaking of not thinking, not only did I not have to think while watching this, but it’s clear none of the characters were thinking throughout, well, most of the movie.

This is another movie I’d tried to watch before but couldn’t really get into. Only this time I really got into it, and was surprised by how much I liked it. I shouldn’t be so surprised, I guess. The cast is solid, and they work really well together. They really feel like a family.

It’s hard to do well with alien abduction stories. It’s hard to find the right balance of science fiction and plausibility to make alien abduction scary rather than campy, but this one does pretty well. There’s definitely a high creep factor throughout this one.

Yes, this is the obvious choice for St. Patrick’s Day, but it works so well! And it’s fitting that St. Patrick’s Day falls on a Thursday this year.

I’d never actually seen this one all the way through, though I caught bits and pieces of it on network television growing up, along with its sequels. Can we all agree this was one of Warwick Davis’s more ridiculous roles? Actually, ridiculous seems an apt word for the whole movie.

This wasn’t what I’d consider John Carpenter’s best work, but it was pretty good. Carpenter knows how to scare without being overly gruesome or graphic, and this mostly works here. There’s a definite creep factor throughout the film, and the 1960s setting, from the outfits the girls wear to the medical treatments being used, serves to amplify this.

Plus the cast is good. Like, really good. I know I’ve mentioned I like Amber Heard before, and she was great as Kristen. The rest of the girls were also great – I’ve recently learned I like Danielle Panabaker a lot. And all of the medical staff were expertly creepy.

I’ve been letting Netflix make many of my movie-watching decisions for me lately, so I decided to give Amazon Prime Instant Video a chance to recommend something good. I’ll admit my expectations were pretty low, as the last time I watched something Amazon recommended to me I couldn’t make it all the way through.

But this one had Angela Bettis in it, so I figured it couldn’t be all bad. And it wasn’t! It had a lot going for it, and it was decently entertaining.