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#Horror (2015)

I really wanted to like this movie. The actors are relatively well known and well respected, the concept and story seemed to be good, and the trailer was incredibly promising. Unfortunately…it was a really hard movie to watch, and it completely fell short of all my expectations.

A Christmas Horror Story (2015)

I have to admit, I’m a bit disappointed by this movie. Okay, a lot disappointed.

A House on the Bayou (2021)

I went into this not knowing anything about it except the short blurb, and not really knowing what to expect. And I liked it!

A Thousand Cuts (2012)

I swear when I first saw this movie I liked it much better. Maybe I was just feeling more generous. It was a little hard to get through this time…but I think the story is interesting enough that it earns three stars instead of two. It’s close, though.

A Thousand Little Cuts (2022)

So…I thought this would be a better movie than it was. As a thriller, it’s a two-star film. As a mystery and drama, maybe I could give it an extra star, but it’s not very thrilling, and as a “scary story” it’s barely two stars.

ABCs of Death 2 (2014)

Tonight’s anthology had fewer familiar names and faces than last night’s, but since Larry Fessenden was one of those names I didn’t complain too much. I’m happy to report that his segment was one of my favorites.

Alison's Birthday (1981)

Okay, okay, I have to be honest, a four-star rating is kind of misleading here.

All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

I know it’s Easter, but instead of finding something thematically appropriate, I found this. I started watching this one expecting something silly and ridiculous, and that’s exactly what I got. It kind of reminded me of Jennifer’s Body, only not as clever, and much more focused on being sexy than on being scary.

And sure, it was kind of sexy at times. I mean, I feel like the whole plot was just thinly veiled sexual innuendo…and sometimes just blatantly sexual. The story was silly, and it had too many moving parts. Like they wanted to make fun of horror movies and romantic comedies, but kind of missed both boats.

All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018)

It’s been a while since I’ve watched an anthology movie, and…I was not impressed with this. I thought it was going to be better.

Anguish (2015)

I was kind of hoping this movie would be terrible so I could make an equally terrible joke about the anguish I felt getting through it, but I liked it too much for that. It was a bit slow paced, and not as terrifying as it could have been, but it was interesting.

I was especially impressed with the minimalism of the background music and how simple the camera work was. It’s a great example of “less is more.”

Animal (2014)

I feel like it’s been a long time since I’ve mentioned and appreciated some understated opening credits, but that’s what immediately struck me about this movie. I liked the tense opening music and the old-school style font! I was also a little surprised to see Drew Barrymore’s name in the opening as an executive producer! So this movie got off to a good start.

Antibirth (2016)

Wow. Umm…this movie was certainly something. It started out weird and creepy, and ended up REALLY weird and REALLY creepy. Like, over-the-top weird. But that was only the last ten minutes or so, so I’ll forgive that.

Antisocial 2 (2015)

I was hoping that a follow-up to a movie I remember liking quite a bit might not be a disappointment, and yet…sigh. I’m still down, I’m still not feeling talkative, and I definitely wasn’t impressed with this film.

Anything for Jackson (2020)

I’m honestly not sure how I feel about this movie. I think I liked it? I also think it’s more of a comedy than you’d expect from the description.

April Fools (2007)

Okay, this isn’t the worst movie I’ve watched this year, but it might have the worst cinematography?

Arbor Day (1990)

Happy Arbor Day! Is your turkey in the oven?

Beckoning the Butcher (2013)

This was an odd movie. It was also a short movie. And unfortunately, it wasn’t a great movie.

The film alternates between found footage of Chris Shaw (his internet claim to fame is that he makes videos debunking paranormal rituals – think Bloody Mary or Candyman) and his friends and random interviews (think talking heads). The switching is a bit disorienting, and the interviews are ridiculous. Seriously – they’re either with a psychic who says things like “blood is literally a person’s life force” or with Chris Shaw’s brother who blames himself for showing Chris the “deep web” (you know, the one he says is under the “surface internet”).

Besetment (2017)

So this was…certainly a movie. And not a very good one. Nor was it a very original one.

Beyond the Gates (2016)

I figured I was going to be in for a ride when I saw Graham Skipper’s name and I wasn’t let down.

Black Box (2020)

This movie was SO GOOD. So good. I was worried it wasn’t going to stick the landing but it did.

Blind Malice (2014)

I really wanted this movie to be good. The concept sounded really interesting, and like there were many possible directions to take it. And it’s not like it’s that bad, but it felt really disappointing. Like they had this cool concept that they didn’t really do anything with. Instead, they decide to go in another arbitrary direction instead.

Like I said, it’s not all bad. There are some things this movie does really well. The opening scenes, for example. And I may have mentioned before how much I love a good understated opening credits sequence. And the music is surprisingly well done. I don’t even mind the sad blue filter the whole thing appears to have been filmed with.

Blood (2023)

I wasn’t too impressed with this movie. It had a reasonably interesting (if unoriginal) story, and the acting was pretty good, but it didn’t grab me like some of the other things I’ve watched this month.

Blood, Sweat and Cheer (2023)

Okay, I’m glad June pulled itself together for the last week or so (and I guess the first week was pretty good too, so I really just picked a bunch of duds for the middle of the month?).

Cam (2018)

This is another movie that I remember liking a lot more the first time I saw it. It felt a bit long and boring this time around, like it was trying to be too artsy for its own story or something.

Caveat (2021)

This is another one I heard a lot of hype about. I found it just okay.

Censor (2021)

This movie was fine. It could have been a lot better. It had an interesting context and setting, and on the surface an interesting story, but it didn’t really do anything new with either.

Chatroom (2010)

Before I say anything else about this movie, I need to offer the biggest Content Warning AND Spoiler Warning I’ve written yet. This movie is about, and depicts, suicide, depression, and bullying, including driving others to suicide.

If you or someone you know needs help, please (in the US) dial 988, the National Suicide Lifeline, visit https://www.crisistextline.org/ , or text HOME to 741741 to reach a volunteer Crisis Counselor.

Circle (2015)

This is an interesting movie. The storyline is compelling and ultimately relatable – it’s easy to start wondering what you would do if you woke up in a similar situation. And once that happens, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the choices others make.

I like Julie Benz, the only one of the group I recognized, but she doesn’t get much screen time until towards the end of the movie. The rest of the acting is mostly fine, although there were several instances of overacting throughout. The background music is mostly subtle, and since the circle has its own sound effects, largely unnecessary.

Contracted: Phase II (2015)

The good news is, I was right! Contracted makes so much more sense after watching Phase II. I thought this one was a better film overall. In fact, you could probably cut the first movie down to 20 minutes, add it to the beginning of the second, and have a great movie that isn’t too long.

This one didn’t feel slow like the first one at all. In fact, I had to rewind a few times towards the last few minutes because I had to double check to see if it had suddenly turned into an action movie (it had). Similar to the first one, the acting was good in this – except for BJ.

Cupid (2020)

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope for this holiday you do literally anything but watch this movie.

Daniel Isn't Real (2019)

This was a weird movie, but everyone in it was so good, and the story was more interesting and original than I was anticipating!

Dark (2015)

October’s feeling like a lazy month for me. I can’t believe it’s almost over! Which means my favorite holiday is coming up quickly. Sadly, I have a lot more to say about delicious candy than I do about this movie.

Dark Summer (2015)

I don’t know if I’ve said this yet, but I really like Peter Stormare. He’s not the star of this film, but he’s definitely the best part.

I don’t have too much else to say about this one. It’s reasonably well paced, though it is one of those slow-feeling stories throughout. It doesn’t drag on, at least.

It’s pretty creepy when it gets going and it’s not as predictable as I expected it would be.

Darkroom (2013)

This movie was mostly okay. To be honest, I was expecting a little more torture porn, but it was relatively tame. There are a few graphic scenes but nothing over the top or out of place.

The cast was mostly okay. I’d seen a few of the actors in different roles before, but everyone’s character was fairly believable. I did have a problem with the family chemistry though. While the individual characters were fine, as a family I just wasn’t buying it.

Darlin' (2019)

Okay, so this is the third movie in “The Woman” collection, and definitely not my favorite. But it is Pollyanna McIntosh’s directorial debut, AND she reprises her role as “The Woman” here.

Darling (2015)

I think I have a new favorite movie. Or at least new favorite movie of the moment. Maybe it’s because of my newfound adoration of Lauren Ashley Carter. Maybe it’s because the movie is black and white and my favorite shade of pink.

Maybe it’s because I discovered that you can change the appearance of subtitles on Netflix to make them giant and bright pink (and you haven’t lived until you’ve seen subtitles screaming FRENCH LOUNGE MUSIC at you in bright pink).

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Looking at my rating of this film, you might be wondering why I watched it this week after I said I’d be watching some of my favorites. Only 3 out of 5? Well, you’d be mostly right to wonder.

See, the remake of this movie is one of my all-time favorites. I’ve seen it at least 200 hundred times. And since it is a remake, I figured I’d watch it on a Friday so I could use Throwback Thursday for the original. This one. Only (and I hate to admit this) I’d never seen the original before. And to be honest, I wasn’t impressed.

Dead Awake (2016)

Okay, I don’t know if I’m just feeling impatient this year or what, but I feel like I have mentioned “slow” on so many movies already. And I’m going to do it again, because this movie was slow.

Deep Fear (2022)

Okay, this is another movie I was all in on for the first hour before it got weird and a bit silly.

Also, it’s French. As in, English subtitles for a French-language film. Which I wasn’t expecting for a movie called Deep Fear.

Digging Up the Marrow (2015)

I mentioned yesterday that there was another Adam Green film that I liked, and this is it. I still like it, and I’m still fairly certain that’s mostly due to Ray Wise. Have I mentioned I love Ray Wise?

Double Blind (2024)

(I apologize in advance, but this whole thing might be spoilers?)

Emelie (2016)

I realized the other day (probably when I was watching that really awful movie) that it takes a lot more energy for me to sit through and then write about a bad movie than it does for me to sit through and then write about a good movie. So I’ve decided, at least as far as I can help it, and at least on weekdays, to only watch movies that I’m reasonably certain won’t suck or that I’ve seen before and know don’t suck.

I’d never seen this one before (it looks like it was just released last month, so that makes sense), but the poster looked interesting (there’s no saying about not judging a movie by its poster, is there?). Particularly because it featured Sarah Bolger, who’s been in a few scary movies I really liked. I was pretty sure by the opening sequence (and beautifully understated title screen) that I’d made the right decision, and definitely sure when the dramatic irony became clear in the father’s car.

Exam (2009)

This movie had a lot of promise but did a lot of stupid things. In turn, its characters also did a lot of stupid things. It’s still a decent watch, but don’t hold your breath waiting for it to get better – it won’t.

I did like the opening credits sequence though. While it wasn’t totally understated, it did a better job setting the tone and mood for the movie than any other part of the movie did. It’s also where the music really shines in this one, especially since it’s a bit overdone throughout the rest of the film.

Excision (2012)

This is an interesting movie. Interesting in a good way, though. I really like that the scares in this one build over time – it’s no action-packed slasher film, but rather a glimpse into the dark side of suburban family life and mental illness.

I don’t think the pacing will suit everyone. It’s a bit slow to get going (although you wouldn’t expect that from the awesome opening sequence), opting for character development over shock value, but this works well here; by the time you realize the depths of Pauline’s troubles you’re already feeling sympathetic towards her.

Gerald's Game (2017)

So, I think this movie wins for making me cry the hardest of any movie I’ve watched this year. Actually, I don’t recall crying for ANY other movie I’ve written about this year. And I’m a BIG crier, especially for movies.

Ghost of Goodnight Lane (2014)

I kind of figured this one was going to be pretty ridiculous when I watched the trailer, and I was definitely right. But I’m pretty sure it’s meant to be ridiculous.

I mean, come on…the over-the-top special effects, the completely ridiculous plot, that hilarious scene where they can’t send an email but they can “search, like literally for anything,” that even more hilarious fight scene soon after…it’s quite honestly a ridiculous masterpiece.

Glorious (2022)

I…am surprised by how much I liked this movie? It’s so weird, but it’s short, and it’s fun, despite primarily taking place in a rest stop bathroom?

Grave Encounters (2011)

While the concept of this film is reasonably interesting (though not terribly original), it never quite falls into place. Everything feels just a little bit off. It’s watchable, but nothing special.

Head Count (2019)

So…this movie had a lot going for it, but it really failed to live up to any of those things.

His House (2020)

I liked this movie. It’s a bit slow for me, but it’s also short, so that kind of evened things out.

The story is deep, and dark, and creepy - and there are some terrifying moments and jump scares.

Holiday Hell (2019)

This is a bad movie. There’s an argument to be made that it’s so bad it’s good, but…you’d have to do a LOT of arguing. So why am I rating it three full stars? Jeffrey Combs. Literally the third star is just for Jeffrey Combs.

Home Sweet Home (1981)

Wow, this movie. I was considering rating it at only two out of five, but I gave it an extra star because it’s just so bad. You know, in that can’t look away from it kind of way.

Host (2020)

This is a five-star movie for me, but I have to acknowledge it’s perhaps because of a few “superficial” things versus the movie itself. Like, it’s less than an hour long! You could barely call that a feature film! And most of the characters have British accents!

Howl (2015)

I’m a bit tired tonight so this will be short.

I Will Follow You Into the Dark (2012)

Though the tears on my face may indicate otherwise (or not), I’m really glad I watched this movie tonight. I really liked it.

I still think of Mischa Barton as Marissa Cooper no matter what role she’s playing, which works sometimes more than others. It worked for this one.

In a Violent Nature (2024)

So, as you’ll learn later this week, I’m going to be watching a LOT of Friday the 13th movies. A LOT. And this movie really feels like it’s trying to be an entry into that franchise, only with Johnny instead of Jason.

Influencer (2023)

I liked this one more than I expected, but since I’m still watching this post-election (as opposed to yesterday’s movie which I actually watched pre-election), I’ve got very little to say.

Intruders (2011)

I would rate this movie at four out of five just for the acting in it. I try not to use the word “superb” lightly, but I feel like everyone in this film just did a superb job.

It (1990)

I may be biased writing this, because you could probably say that this is the movie that started it all. The details are fuzzy, but I remember seeing this when I was about five, so it may have been when it aired the first time. I think I was supposed to be asleep, and whoever was watching didn’t see me sneak up behind them (I do that sometimes) until the commercial break.

Anyway, next thing I do remember is that for the next several years, I thought there was a clown under my bed that was going to eat me. I still sometimes leap into my bed from three feet away so nothing grabs my ankles. And sometimes I still have to turn on all the lights in my house in the middle of the night so I can fall asleep.

June (2015)

Much like last month’s, this month’s inaugural movie is related to the month in name only. And, also much like last month’s, I rather liked this movie.

Possibly it’s because I hadn’t seen Victoria Pratt in anything since the TV show Day Break was cancelled. Possibly it’s because I have a secret thing for Casper Van Dien. Or possibly it’s because I really like Eddie Jemison, though I had no idea what his name was until just now.

Kill List (2011)

This movie is sitting precariously just at the edge of being a good movie but I don’t think it quite makes it. It’s well acted and the camerawork is great but the story doesn’t have enough substance to hook its audience.

I liked the characters from the start – the main group are all sympathetic relatable characters for the most part (at least as far as the audience knows at first) and the dialogue flows nicely. The group chemistry seemed complicated but realistic so my favorite scenes were the ones where Jay and Gal or Jay and Shel were just having a normal conversation.

Know Fear (2022)

Wow, I really need to stop thinking that super short movies are less likely to be bad. This one was pretty bad.

Kristen (2015)

Well, hello 2024! I’m excited to be back with this blog, and excited to be starting with a New Year’s Day film from the Netherlands.

I was all in on this movie at first. I watched it alone in the dark, late at night on a cold winter night. (Maybe a little too tired for an English subtitled film, but I made it through!)

And it starts out great! It does do that “mid-story flashback as opening scene,” but I’ll forgive this one. The atmosphere is creepy, the actress who plays Kristen is sympathetic and believable, and there’s a healthy sense of dread built up nice and early.

…and then things get weird. (Spoilers ahead)

Kristy (2014)

This is yet another film I remember enjoying more the first time around. (Spoiler alert) Honestly, maybe this year I’m just more sensitive to the dogs getting killed? I feel like I should have run my whole calendar through www.doesthedogdie.com before watching anything?

Kuso (2017)

Other than “a whole lot of WTF,” I wasn’t really sure what to expect from a film referred to in at least one article as “the movie that traumatized Sundance”, and whose director defended the film by saying “only like 20 people out of like 400” walked out.

And I feel like I did get more than JUST a whole lot of WTF… but I don’t really have the words to describe what I got?

Late Phases (2014)

So, I originally found this film when I wanted to watch the 1999 movie Memorial Day for the Memorial Day holiday, but unfortunately couldn’t find it streaming ANYWHERE. There were a few places that had the DVD for sale, and I bought it! But I wasn’t sure if it would ship in time…plus there’s another movie by the same name from the same year, and I was a little worried I’d accidentally get THAT movie instead…

Well, I DID get the (correct) movie in time! But I already watched this movie just in case. It came up when I was searching for other Memorial Day horror movies. I don’t think it’s exactly on theme for today (though the main character is a veteran!), but it’ll work. Plus it has Larry Fessenden and Ethan Embry, so it seemed somewhat promising? And it’s available on streaming platforms.

Level 16 (2018)

Okay, I feel like this movie was better the first time I watched it? And yeah, there’s some of that “well, obviously” because I already know most of the answers this second time around, but… I don’t think that’s all.

Long Weekend (1979)

I’m still not feeling very talkative, or maybe I’m just choosing movies that don’t give me much to say. Either way, I don’t have much to say about this one.

Lovely, Dark, and Deep (2023)

I liked this movie! It was quiet, but not slow. Georgina Campbell (also excellent in Barbarian) was great, which is good because it’s just her we see through most of the film.

Mandy (2018)

So…I’ve seen this movie now. It seems like a lot of people really like it. I…well, I watched the shit out of it.

Memorial Day (1999)

Well, this was an EXTREME disappointment. It’s a bad movie, just truly awful, and now it’s an awful movie I own on DVD. Frustratingly, this movie didn’t even have the benefit of a familiar face like Lamorne Morris, so there was literally nothing to earn it an extra star. I don’t have a “no-star” rating, but this was definitely even worse than that other one-star movie with a LOT of familiar faces.

Midnighters (2018)

It’s New Year’s Eve, everyone! The last day and my last movie of the year. I don’t know whether to find it fitting or disappointing that I mostly think this movie is fine.

Mine Games (2012)

This movie was okay. It was definitely watchable, and the pacing was fine. The concept was okay. The cast was pretty good, though I didn’t recognize anyone.

But, like…everyone is just so dumb in this movie. Seriously, they keep making the stupidest decisions the entire movie.

Most Likely to Die (2015)

This is a silly movie. I get the sense it’s meant to be silly on purpose (I mean, Perez Hilton is in it, after all…and, um, it’s called “Most Likely to Die"), which mostly works here.

Night of the Hunted (2023)

Okay, I was on board with this movie for the first half or so. And then it turned into…something else. Something I couldn’t really get behind.

Offspring (2009)

Once again I don’t have much to say about a film. I still like Pollyanna McIntosh. She’s credited as “The Woman” in this film, which I have to assume serves as a prequel? Sequel? to The Woman, particularly since Jack Ketchum wrote the screenplays for both movies (with help, of course) and Pollyanna McIntosh seems to be the same character in both.

Panic Button (2011)

Well, this was a not-so-subtle, incredibly heavy handed social commentary on, well, social commentary. Or more specifically, social media and the voyeuristic tendencies it brings out in people.

Patrick (2013)

I finally feel mostly caught up on sleep, but I don’t have much to say about tonight’s movie. I definitely liked it, though.

It had Sharni Vinson and Charles Dance! Both of whom were awesome (Charles Dance a bit more chilling in this role than the last role I saw him in, Sharni Vinson not quite as awesome in this role than the last role I saw her in).

The story is an interesting one, the setting a wonderfully creepy one (have I mentioned I like old abandoned buildings?), and the accents adorably Australian ones (well, except for Charles Dance and Rachel Griffiths, but that’s probably for the best).

Pay the Ghost (2015)

This was a movie with a reasonably interesting premise that just missed its mark.

I’m always in the mood for a good Nicolas Cage movie. Unfortunately, Pay the Ghost was not that movie.

Pod (2015)

I’m torn on how I feel about this movie. I think it’s got a lot going for it – an interesting story, a pretty terrifying antagonist, and familial drama as a backdrop. But the pieces don’t all fit quite right and it frequently feels like there’s more focus on being a dark and mysterious piece of art than there is on telling a scary story. I don’t like films that are artsy for the sake of being artsy (though I’ll admit that may just be personal preference).

Pontypool (2009)

Ah, Pontypool. I almost forgot this movie takes place on Valentine’s Day. It’s fitting if you think about it, since the film is really about communication and relationships.

It is such a great movie. Stephen McHattie is wonderful as Grant Mazzy, radio star. There’s such neat character development from inside the radio station as you slowly learn what’s going on outside. The slow pacing of the first third or so of the film picks up once the doctor reveals the cause of the infection (and how it spreads), and from then the action is nearly non-stop until the end credits roll.

Preservation (2014)

I like this movie a lot. It’s got a lot going for it. Like the music, for example. The music in this film is fantastic. It’s like, Philip Glass level of expertise. From the main title theme to the general background score, it’s fantastic.

Prevenge (2017)

Okay, have I mentioned Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace here yet? It’s an amazing British TV show with only 6 existing episodes, and if you haven’t yet seen it, you absolutely must as soon as possible. I love it so much. I think that show, along with a fundamental agreement of “no babies” is what solidifed the beginning of my relationship with my husband.

I guess it’s a little bit ironic, then, that I’m watching a movie with (and BY!) Alice Lowe, who played Madeleine Wool/Dr. Liz Asher, about a murderous pregnant woman? Well, whether it’s ironic or not, I wanted to like this one much more than I did.

Pyewacket (2017)

This movie had some interesting bits to it, and I thought the performances were great, but it was a bit too slow for me overall.

Rabid (2019)

It’s probably no surprise that I like this one better than the original. I mean, it was directed (and written) by the Soska sisters, of American Mary fame, and it’s no secret how much I love that movie. And while this movie does NOT have Katharine Isabelle, it has Laura Vandervoort, whom I’ve already mentioned at least once this year. And Stephen McHattie!

Ratter (2015)

So, this movie is not without its problems, but…I liked it a surprising amount. I thought Ashley Benson did a great job as Emma, who goes through most of this film unaware of what’s happening around her (while the audience is placed in a voyeuristic position). And the more you see of her just going about her normal days…honestly, the scarier the film gets.

Re-Animator (1985)

Well, I have now finally seen this movie. And it was…okay. I can see why it’s a cult favorite, but I wasn’t terribly impressed.

Ringu (1998)

Sometimes I worry that I’m too Americanized and I only like heavy Hollywood horror…but then I watch things like this that have at least a little more subtlety, feel a little more “indie” (or at least, not full-on Hollywood), and I remember what I like about them.

Rites of Spring (2012)

It’s officially the first day of Spring on this side of the world, so I finally watched this one. I’d actually started it on Netflix a couple months back, but stopped when I realized it could be used as a seasonally-appropriate choice a short time later.

But I must have misjudged how much was left of the movie when I stopped it, because I swear there were only about ten minutes I hadn’t already seen. Maybe I was expecting it to get interesting all of a sudden? Maybe I was distracted the first time and didn’t realize how long I’d been watching? It was kind of a letdown to have waited so long for so little.

Run Sweetheart Run (2020)

I feel this is going to be a polarizing movie. It’s definitely…weird, and absurd, and over-the-top, and campy. I’d seen it before, but watching it again it really reminded me of Sissy, which isn’t a bad thing!

Satanic Panic (2019)

I really liked this one. I had a lot of fun with it. It’s ALMOST 5 stars, but I think I’m settling on rating it a very high 4 stars.

Seventh Moon (2008)

I’ll admit that I haven’t read up much on the mythology behind this one, and it’s less enjoyable watching it without someone who can translate all of the Cantonese, but this is still an okay movie. Or maybe it’s just that I like Amy Smart so much. And there’s a lot of Amy Smart in this movie.

Silent Retreat (2016)

When I started typing out my notes for this movie, I mistyped and my phone corrected it to “Silent Regret,” which might be a more accurate title for it. It’s pretty bad. It’s not completely unwatchable, but it’s close.

What’s funny is that it’s hard for me to pinpoint what was so bad about it. The story itself was original and interesting, and the twists fitting and equally intriguing. And the cover looked awesome! It should have been scary and it should have been really good, but it felt flat.

Siren (2016)

If I were going to wish for a feature-length adaptation of one of the V/H/S segments, I’m not sure “Amateur Night” would have been my first pick.

Sissy (2022)

I was on the fence about giving this one a full five stars, but I figure if I can give Disturbing Behavior five stars, I can give this five stars, too. It was FUN.

Spiral (2019)

I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. It’s got the feeling of a slow-burn horror, but it’s reasonably paced and I liked it! It’s not perfect, especially when it comes to some of the reveals, but I genuinely enjoyed it.

Spree (2020)

So I don’t know if you’ve watched Stranger Things, but if you have, you might recognize Joe Keery, who plays Steve. Well, Kurt Kunkle is not Steve. Not even a little.

Spring (2014)

Yes, another thematically appropriate movie. This one was better than yesterday’s, though. I watched this about a year ago and was surprised at how much I liked it. I think it was because it was a completely different feel than I expected.

I’ve seen Lou Taylor Pucci in a few things before, but he really impressed me in this one. He was so believable and the character development was so well done. And the chemistry between Evan and Louise is incredible. Definitely the right cast for this.

Starry Eyes (2014)

I liked this one a lot. I feel like it had essentially the same story and overall message as The Neon Demon and told it way better. I know The Neon Demon was going for flash (quite literally at times), but I found this one much prettier. The camera work was well done, the music was fantastic, and I love the scenes where the camera flash looks just like a full moon.

Static (2012)

I was about to ask myself (or rather, ask you) where I find these movies, but this one I got straight from Milo Ventimiglia’s IMDb page, so I suppose I already know the answer.

To perhaps no one’s shock or amazement, this movie was about family, love, and loss – and I liked it quite a bit.

Submerged (2016)

So I can sort of see why this one only had one star on Netflix. It wasn’t a great movie. It was barely even a good movie. But it kept me entertained throughout, so I gave it a (very generous) three out of five.

The acting was mostly okay, though there were some weirdly melodramatic scenes during which the actors all overacted as befitted the scene. The music was similarly bland throughout most of the film, with a few notably overdramatic exceptions. The plot sort of makes sense and gets increasingly more convoluted as the movie goes on, but it’s interesting enough.

Suitable Flesh (2023)

I had fun with this film! I feel like it’s been a while since I’ve seen anything with Heather Graham, and even longer since I’ve actually liked something I’ve seen her in.

Summer Camp (2016)

Amazon recommended this to me and I figured it was seasonally appropriate so I figured I’d give it a shot. I liked it way more than I thought I would.

I say that mostly because this movie didn’t seem sure of what it wanted to be and I usually hate that in a film. Somehow it worked for this film?

It wasn’t quite a horror comedy, but it was funny (and not in that terrible, so bad it’s funny kind of way). It wasn’t quite a parody either.

Summer of 84 (2018)

Okay, July is definitely turning out much better than most of June! I liked this one! I was originally going to say that it was less strictly “horror” than I expected (especially considering the cover art!), but the “horror” definitely picked up towards the end. Honestly this movie was so much fun.

Superhost (2021)

I had fun with this one. Much of that fun was from seeing just how well Gracie Gillam plays a total creeper. She is SO GOOD.

Terror Train (2022)

Well, this was kind of a letdown. And yet…why is there a sequel, and why am I watching it tomorrow?

Look, if I had seen this movie first, I might have given it 3 stars. As a standalone film, it’s fine. But as a remake? It’s unnecessary. It doesn’t add anything to the original, and in fact is missing Jamie Lee Curtis AND David Copperfield! So I can’t in good conscience give it a full 3 stars, but it’s fine.

The acting is mostly fine, although the characters are all kind of dicks (like, moreso than in the original?). I really liked the actress playing Mitchy (despite the “this poly dropped a molly” line), and I recognized the actor playing Mo from From, a supernatural horror TV series for which I am desperately awaiting season 3.

Terror Train 2 (2022)

Remember how I said that as a standalone film, yesterday’s remake was fine? So was this - and since it wasn’t a mostly shot-for-shot remake, I’ll let it keep the third star.

Honestly, I watched this not expecting much from it, except a return to the original New Year theme/holiday. And it wasn’t great or anything, but it was totally watchable! And not quite as predictable as the first! And the writing was much sharper and funnier - I so am glad they backed off the creep factor for the Magician this time around and gave him some great lines.

The Abandoned (2015)

Overall this movie wasn’t bad. Jason Patric was fine as Cooper, though he mostly sat around and grunted. Louisa Krause was also fine as Streak. There were some really creepy scenes throughout the movie, and the setting in general was awesome (giant old abandoned apartment complex? I’ll take it!).

But something about the twist at the end didn’t quite land for me. It was an interesting twist, but there wasn’t enough backstory or foreshadowing for it to make much sense. I felt more confused than scared at the end of the movie.

The ABCs of Death (2013)

While I didn’t find every minute of this exciting like with Tales of Halloween, I’d still rate this five out of five for the concept. It’s just so cool. And it’s well implemented here.

The Advent Calendar (2021)

A new day, a new December. And a new movie just in time to start your own advent calendar? I have complicated feelings about this one.

The Atticus Institute (2015)

What’s with all these relatively short movies feeling like they’re dragging on so slowly? I kept kind of losing interest in things, but I ultimately found a good amount to like here.

The Beach House (2019)

I don’t have much to say about this movie. It was short but slow, had some eerie moments, and ultimately wasn’t all that interesting.

The Beyond (1981)

Y’all, I am tired this week. And still not feeling very talkative.

The Butterfly Room (2012)

Butterflies are thematically appropriate for spring, right? In any case, I’m happy to report that I liked this one more than I anticipated…though I admit that could just be because the story actually made sense in this one. Yes, it used flashbacks, but it used them well, and I was able to follow along with the plot and understand what was going on.

And it was scary! The tension builds throughout and things just get creepier and creepier. I love the opening sequence…the way the credits appear on screen is amazing and the background music is really well done. I also like that they used a flashback for the opening sequence – way better than using some moment from later on in the film.

The Canal (2014)

Oh good, a movie I enjoyed more than I was expecting! Feels like it’s been a little while since I came across one of those.

The Cellar (2022)

I was a bit surprised how much I liked this movie. Maybe it’s because it’s been a long time since I’ve seen Elisha Cuthbert in anything, and it was somewhat disorienting to have her play the “mom of a teenager” as opposed to practically being the teenager herself. Am I feeling old??

The Dark and the Wicked (2020)

So, I didn’t quite know what I was getting into with this movie…but I certainly didn’t expect a repeat of the creepiest, most disturbing scene from yesterday’s film in this one. And right at the start, no less. And honestly, it’s not even the most disturbing scene from this movie.

The Dark Stranger (2016)

Can you believe there are only two weeks left in the year? Maybe it’s just me, but 2016 as a whole somehow seemed to rush by all at once while each moment within 2016 seemed to drag on and on and on. Like many of the movies I’ve reviewed this year, in fact.

The Deep House (2021)

Similarly to last night’s movie, I liked this movie more than I expected, but it kind of fell apart at the end.

The Diabolical (2015)

Well, this one started out awesome but didn’t quite finish strong. I was so excited by the opening sequence, but it’s all sort of downhill after that.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Ali Larter and all, but this movie was too weird for me to really get into. The pacing was all off, so it dragged on at times and was too busy to make sense of at others.

The Dive (2023)

Apologies, I’m not feeling like I have too much to say this week.

The Hallow (2015)

Take my rating today with a grain of salt – I think this movie was actually pretty good, I just wasn’t really in the right mood to be impressed by it.

It’s got a good story, a good cast, and good background music. The opening credits aren’t too long or ostentatious and the evil creature is pretty damn scary.

The Houses October Built (2014)

Hopefully this weekend I’ll have more energy to give you some real reviews (though I am throwing a Halloween party…), but this’ll have to suffice for now.

The Invitation (2015)

This one was weird. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t great, it was just weird.

It started off interesting – I really liked how there was no background music during the opening sequence, which definitely had promise. Then the opening credits went on a bit too long and its jump cuts got a bit too distracting. In fact, that’s kind of how I feel about this whole movie. It went on too long and its various twists or jump cuts or scene changes became distracting and even disorienting at times.

The Last Man on Earth (1964)

I hesitate to admit that I tend to stay away from movies made in the 1960s or earlier. I don’t have a great reason for it, either – I finally saw a Hitchcock film (Vertigo) this year and thought it was pretty good, and it’s not like I’ve had many bad experiences that might steer me away from old movies.

The Lost Tree (2015)

Ugh, well, this movie was boring. Not terrible, but terribly boring. Which is a real shame! There was a lot that could have been great!

The Mind's Eye (2015)

This movie raises a lot of questions (and eyebrows), but I found myself unable to turn away from it. From the straight-out-of-the 1980s soundtrack to the sudden, over-the-top violence, this movie is ridiculous and weird. And, you know, I like that sort of thing.

The Neighbor (2016)

I liked this one, which is unsurprising in a few ways. The screenplay was written by Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan, two writers whose work I’m familiar with.

The cast has a couple of familiar faces: Alex Essoe of Starry Eyes and Josh Stewart of The Collector/The Collection(apparently Marcus Dunstan likes Josh Stewart), both of whom are great.

The Open House (2018)

Wow, people really do NOT like this movie. Like, it has an 8% on Rotten Tomatoes with over 1000 reviews.

Actually, I think this review by Shaun Munro says it best: “This virtually tension-free, depressingly bland horror flick is tough to recommend to anyone but the most undemanding horror fans looking for something gentle to stream on a hungover Sunday afternoon.”

The Outwaters (2023)

I feel like this movie had a lot of really interesting potential and visual effects, but didn’t quite land the “scary story” piece quite as well as it could have.

The Owners (2020)

I wanted to like this much more. It’s got a whole lot going for it! Maisie Williams! Creepy old couple in a big old house!

The Pact II (2014)

Okay, a lot of things make more sense the second time around now that I’ve actually seen the first film. Not everything, though. This film left me with about as many unanswered questions as the first. Which is okay – I don’t expect every story to be perfect, especially in horror movies. And for the most part the plot makes sense and there aren’t any obvious holes.

The Perfection (2018)

This is a weird movie with a lot of weird happenings and I am mostly here for it.

The Resort (2021)

I liked this one more than I expected, but still not a lot. I’m sure it didn’t hurt that it was quite short and action-packed.

The Returned (2013)

I liked this movie a lot. It’s a zombie movie, sort of. (Some spoilers ahead) It’s like this…post zombie apocalypse story of humanity at its worst. And it’s great. The music is well done, the acting is good, and the story is riveting. The pacing is wonderful so the suspense builds and builds and the climactic scenes really pay off.

My only real problem with it was that I kept thinking the guy who played Alex was the guy from Coldplay. Which, all things considered, isn’t the worst possibility?

The Tooth Fairy (2006)

Okay, so I said before that I like Lochlyn Munro, and I enjoy his performances and would love to see more of him. Well, I’m not sure this is quite the “more of him” I was looking for, but it wasn’t all bad.

The Unspoken (2015)

I don’t have a lot to say about this movie either. The acting is fine, the location creepy, the music only slightly overbearing…

But it lost me a bit with the ending there. It felt like the important parts of the story were all revealed in a rush in the final three minutes.

Which is weird, because it’s a relatively slow-moving film up until then.

Overall I liked it but it wasn’t too scary and it wasn’t too memorable.

The Veil (2016)

Netflix told me that I’d be interested in this one and I figured it was worth a watch, especially since I like Jessica Alba and Thomas Jane.

The good news? In this case, Netflix was right. This movie was well acted and well paced…and incredibly creepy. There were a few jump scares, but the film didn’t rely on them to set the mood. The background music was understated throughout and worked nicely to add to that mood.

The Void (2016)

This has been a bit of a long week for me, so this will be another I don’t have much to say about. BUT I did like it.

There's Something Wrong with the Children (2023)

I liked this movie more than I expected. Turns out I really like Zach Gilford in scary things! I also like Amanda Crew, and while I don’t think I’ve seen either Alisha Wainwright or Carlos Santos in much before, I liked them both here. And the kids…well, there was definitely something wrong with them, but not with their performances.

They're Watching (2016)

This was a silly movie. And not the good kind of silly.

Which isn’t to say it was all bad – it did have its cute moments and some of the jokes were okay.

Mostly, though, it seemed like a bunch of racist (or racist-adjacent? they were at least questionable) jokes and a mediocre cast.

I actually thought it was reasonably interesting until it was three-quarters of the way finished and nothing remotely scary had happened.

They/Them (2022)

I so badly wanted to like this movie way more than I did. It has such a clever name! I love the idea of it! Even the performances are pretty good! But something about the execution here just isn’t it.

Timber Falls (2007)

This is a pretty standard “backwoods horror” story that I don’t have too much to say about.

Torn Hearts (2022)

I had a lot of fun with this one! I didn’t know much about it going in, which I think helped, as I didn’t really have any hopes or expectations. And it was a lot of fun!

Truth or Die (2012)

I liked this one. Probably more than I should have. I almost rated it at 4 out of 5, but stopped when I realized I really just liked that everyone was so British. I am almost certain that I wouldn’t have liked this movie as much with an American cast.

But they were British, so I think this is a great movie. Okay, accents aside, the cast was pretty good. They were all believable (and British), and I liked that the group had chemistry (and British accents).

V/H/S/2 (2013)

Listen, I could say a lot about this movie but let’s be honest: the live results of this election are the scariest thing I’ve watched all year.

Village of the Damned (1960)

This is partially a nostalgia-driven rating, but also this is truly just a classic horror movie. Made on a shoestring budget with minimal special effects, this movie is apparently a pretty faithful adaptation of John Wyndham’s The Midwich Cuckoos, which I admittedly still have yet to read.

We Are Still Here (2015)

I vaguely remember being excited for this one based on the trailer, but I was a bit disappointed by how it actually played out.

We Need to Do Something (2021)

This is a weird movie. I think I liked it better this time around. The first time I watched it, I may not have been quite “ready” for a slow-burn film about being stuck in a room with your family, no clear way out or idea when (or if) you’ll be rescued.

We're All Going to the World's Fair (2022)

This was a weird little movie, and I feel some kind of way after watching it, and I’m not sure how to describe it? The feeling OR the movie.

When Evil Lurks (2023)

This is another movie that I heard a lot of hype about last year when it came out. People really liked it! I was surprised by how much I heard about this movie, particularly for a Spanish-language film.

Would You Rather (2012)

I have a giant soft spot for torture porn movies, and this one fits very nicely into it. It’s nothing groundbreaking or amazing, but it’s got solid acting, great pacing, and a wonderful lack of annoying background music.

Plus I got to watch Brittany Snow get stabbed in the side, so there’s that. Anyway, if you aren’t squeamish and you’re into this kind of thing, I’d definitely recommend this movie. It’s better than many others like it and should keep you entertained throughout.

You Might Be the Killer (2019)

This is the last “regular” movie I’m watching before I finish the year out with a bunch of holiday movies and…it’s kind of a disappointment. I feel like I liked it more the first time around.

Zombeavers (2014)

I realize that beavers and groundhogs are different animals, but there are apparently no horror movies about groundhogs (although according to IMDb, there will be one next year!). So for Groundhog Day this year, I figured I’d finally get around to watching Zombeavers. And wow. Just wow.

I figured from the trailer and the tagline (“They’ll dam you to hell!”) that I was in for something ridiculous, but I don’t think I was quite prepared for just how ridiculous it was. From the opening sequence with the campy music and animated beavers, to one character yelling “I feel like a Power Ranger!” whilst in the throes of passion, to the actual zombified beavers, everything about this movie was ridiculous. And I loved it.