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247 Degrees Fahrenheit (2011)

So, I don’t know…I have mixed feelings about this one. It’s been really hot this month and last, so I felt like this was an appropriate film choice to express how I’ve been feeling lately.

(Spoilers ahead, probably.) On the one hand, this scenario is basically my personal hell. Trapped in a sauna with no phone, with no way to hydrate myself or keep cool, and with three really boring people? Nope nope nope.

28 Days Later (2002)

Originally I wanted to watch The Fog tonight since I watched The Mist yesterday, but then I remembered that the 2005 version of the film is a remake of a 1980 movie and decided to save both for Throwback Thursday/Follow Up Friday this week. Then I realized that I hadn’t yet written about this movie, and that its sequel isn’t too bad and would fit in well tomorrow, and, well, here we are!

I really like this movie. It’s got a lot going for it. The music is well done, the cast is great, the story compelling. And the infected absolutely terrifying. I feel like this was the film that really brought zombies back into the mainstream (although technically they’re not zombies in this film, but still), and it did that surprisingly well.

28 Weeks Later (2007)

When this came out, I remember worrying that it was going to be a disappointment or that it was going to sully the original’s good name. And then I saw that Rose Byrne was in it, and I got a little more excited. And the good news is I wasn’t disappointed at all!

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not quite as good as the original. This one came out in the midst of Hollywood’s zombie zealotry and has the production value to prove it. It’s definitely geared more towards flash than fright, though it has its moments. I don’t want to spoil too much but I’ll just say that the last scene with the parents together is killer (ha ha ha) and one of the scariest moments of the film.

30 Days of Night (2007)

Tonight’s the longest night of the year, so I figured it was only appropriate to celebrate with this movie. And if you like horror movies, it’s a great movie to celebrate with.

6 Plots (2012)

I liked this movie more than I should probably admit. I haven’t found too many Australian horror films that I can get into, but this one was engaging from the beginning and didn’t let up throughout. Sure, it’s your average “I’d like to play a game”-type slasher film, but it’s above average in two ways: the acting, and the music.

A Creature Was Stirring (2023)

This movie is just weird. I’m not sure it deserves four stars, but it kept me entertained, which is more than I can say for some other movies lately.

A Cure for Wellness (2017)

I know I’ve already made this clear, but again, obviously I don’t hate ALL movies that are over two hours. I liked this one! It wasn’t perfect, but it was mostly well-paced, and when a movie doesn’t FEEL like it drags on, it can keep going, I’m on board.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

I had almost forgotten this remake existed and after watching it again, I wish I had. I know this was technically directed by Samuel Bayer (mostly known for directing music videos), but can we all just be honest and call this Michael Bay’s Nightmare on Elm Street? There were several points at which I thought to myself, “wow, this is Michael Bay as fuck,” which is fitting since that word was used way more in this than in the original. I’m not normally one to shy away from cursing (I love Seven, of course), but it seemed so…unnecessary in this.

Then again, much of the dialogue seemed unnecessary – this Freddy talks too damn much.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

This was one of the first movies I remember truly scaring me. “Nightmare” is right – Freddy Krueger haunted my dreams for months every time I’d watch it. And I’d watch it often, because it was also one of the first movies that made me realize…I love being scared.

Wes Craven truly understood how to scare his audience. Every aspect of the movie works in concert to evoke the most fear possible… the background music is perfect (that nursery rhyme sticks in your head in just the worst way), the sound effects are chilling (those “finger-knives” scraping across metal get me every time), and the pacing keeps you at the edge of your seat from beginning to end.

Abigail (2024)

Maybe I’m just really tired today, but I was disappointed by this film.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

I decided to finally watch this today in honor of Presidents’ Day. I’m actually kind of sad I never watched it before. It was great!

I had no idea it had such a great cast. I love Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and though I already knew Anthony Mackie was a badass, he was bad ass in this movie. I hadn’t seen Benjamin Walker in anything before this, but I thought he was great as Abraham Lincoln. Oh, and Alan Tudyk even makes an appearance!

Absentia (2011)

There’s a lot about this movie I like. It’s an earlier Mike Flanagan film, so there’s a lot of interesting direction and story. There are definitely some scary moments here.

Afflicted (2014)

This was pretty good. The acting is believable and the story interesting (if not original).

The found footage/fake documentary format is a bit tired but it works here for the most part.

It gets weirdly heavy handed with its message at the very end but otherwise it’s a very watchable, creepy horror movie. I approve!

After.Life (2009)

I like this one, though definitely more for the cast than the scare factor.

Honestly, I think the only reason they went the horror direction is so they had a (reasonably) good reason to keep Christina Ricci naked on a table for most of the film. Not that I’m complaining.

Alien (1979)

The entirety of my review tonight was going to be “movies are stupid” because that’s how I feel right now, but this is an incredibly not stupid movie so it didn’t feel right. There’s a lot to be said for this movie, and maybe you’ll get to read some of it next week when I watch the first sequel.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

So, Alien: Romulus is coming out in theaters next month, which means it’ll probably be another couple of months until I get around to watching it at home, but I am excited for it! So I’m (re)watching this in anticipation, and because it wasn’t yet released in 2016.

Alien: Resurrection (1997)

I first saw this movie with the whole family on Thanksgiving Day of 1997 (the day after its release). I hadn’t seen it since, mostly because I remembered being really disappointed by it. That’s about all I could remember about it though. Well, that and the twist. So really, I remembered the one piece of information that makes the first half of this movie interesting because it’s a twist, and I remembered being disappointed by it. I’ll admit I wasn’t really setting tonight’s movie up for success.

Alien³ (1992)

I know I’ve said it like every day this week, but I will be so happy when this week is over. It’s been a long sleepless week and I don’t feel like I’ve gotten much done. But what I did do is watch this movie. So at least there’s that.

I like this movie. It’s not quite as brilliant as the first one and not quite as ambitious as the second one, but H.R. Giger’s nightmare of a creature has never been more terrifying than in this movie. A David Fincher film, it’s definitely more Seven than Blade Runner or Avatar (or perhaps more closely related films by those directors). Which is to say it’s dark, it’s grim, and it’s not afraid to eschew a happy ending that might have fared better at the box office.

Aliens (1986)

Sadly it’s been a long and warm and busy day today, so I don’t have as much to say as I’d hoped. Which is sad, because there’s a lot of this movie. It’s long. Like James Cameron long. Oh, and did I mention it was written and directed by James Cameron?

So the dialogue at times sounds like James Cameron, the action sequences are loud and deliberate like James Cameron’s usually are, and the actors are familiar faces that seem to be favorites of none other than James Cameron. But it’s a damn good James Cameron film at that.

All Fun and Games (2023)

Yeah, this movie was also fine. It’s hard(er) to complain about a movie that’s less than an hour and twenty minutes long.

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)

I realize there will come a day when I run out of horror movies that I really like, but luckily today is not that day. This isn’t my favorite (or even in my top ten), but it’s entertaining and a step above your standard teen slasher film.

I’ll admit that it took a while for Amber Heard to grow on me (I’m not sure whether it was Zombieland or Drive Angry that finally did it), but I was already her fan by the time I first saw this movie. Of course, had the US release not been delayed seven years I imagine I would have liked her much sooner, since she kills it as Mandy Lane (pun only mildly intended).

American Mary (2013)

Here’s another movie I love. I actually like it better than the one I’m watching for my birthday tomorrow, but I needed a pick me up tonight and this is one of my happy movies (yes, really) so here we are.

I haven’t seen this one quite as many times as the Dawn of the Dead remake (of course I’ve had about 8 years longer with that one), but since I first watched it a couple years ago I’ve probably seen it 20 or 30 times. It’s just so…interesting.

American Psycho (2000)

I have always had a soft spot for American Psycho, both the book and this film. I’m fairly confident I read the book before the movie came out (unlike Fight Club, where I didn’t even know the name Chuck Palahniuk before the movie came out, and then I read the book…and yeah, I realize this is essentially a non sequitur…).

I remember being glad that…that scene wasn’t displayed on screen. And also glad that they kept the Phil Collins/Genesis monologue in, for the most part.

American Psycho II: All American Girl (2002)

Okay, I know this is a bad movie. No one liked it! Bret Easton Ellis AND Mila Kunis have both denounced this film. In fact, it wasn’t originally penned as a sequel at all, just a standalone film, and I imagine people would’ve received it better if that’s how it ended up.

Amusement (2008)

This is another movie where I really like the concept but the implementation falls a bit flat.

It’s definitely not the cast here. Katheryn Winnick is great in horror movies, and this one is no exception. She can cry on demand like very few other actresses I’ve seen. Believably, too!

I also like that she generally gets to play the smart (well, at least relatively) one in many of her roles. Or at the very least, the one with the best survival instinct. Without spoiling too much, that’s true here as well.

An American Werewolf in London (1981)

This is actually the first time I’ve ever seen this film. I’ve heard about it, I know it’s got a cult following, but it’s never really appealed to me.

An American Werewolf in Paris (1997)

So, I really like Tom Everett Scott, and I REALLY like Julie Delpy, but I don’t really think I liked this movie any more than the original. I wanted to! Especially since John Landis wasn’t involved with this one! But it didn’t land for me.

Annabelle (2014)

Okay, I can see why some folks might not have liked this movie. It’s slow, and not all that scary until the very end. Then again, if you already think that doll is creepy, this might be a scarier film.

Annihilation (2018)

Okay, honestly, I feel a little bad here. In my head I’m thinking “this is the only Alex Garland I’m really familiar with!” but then it turns out I’m super wrong…I just didn’t realize Alex Garland was involved?

Antebellum (2020)

This movie is beautifully shot, fairly well acted…and way too long and brutal.

Antisocial (2013)

I thought I’d start my 366 days of horror with a movie about New Year’s Eve…and the dangers of social media.

Okay, so it’s mostly about the latter and only minimally about the former, but it’s great. Take several young, relatively unknown actors with a decent amount of talent and working chemistry, add in a virus that turns its infected into raving murderers and is spread by…well, I don’t want to spoil it for you.

There are some neat effects, particularly when you start seeing what the infected see, and a great scene with a string of Christmas lights.

Apartment 1303 (2012)

Wow, this movie was bad. Laughably bad, but not so bad it’s funny or so bad it’s good – it’s really bad. I was lured by the promise of Mischa Barton and Rebecca De Mornay in it, and they were in it all right – but it was still bad.

Apostle (2018)

This is a long movie, and it’s not all that scary, but it’s not terrible. I think if you’re into old-fashioned (like turn of the 20th century “old”) cults and period pieces, you might be really into this movie? It also seems very British.

April Fool's Day (2008)

I’m not really sure whether this is technically a remake of the other April Fool’s Day or what. It seems perhaps maybe there was an earlier version of the screenplay that was more closely related to the original? I did notice in the opening credits that there were two listed “based on the screenplay by” credits, in addition to the “screenplay by” credit, so I guess there were at least three versions of it.

There are some interesting similarities between this one and the earlier one, though. Both plots center around a group of rich college kids – in particular, the central character to each is a girl with a weird name starting in M (and much like Muffy, I’ve never met a Milan either). Both take place around April Fool’s Day. Both feature handheld camera footage in some way. Both are horror films. Both are a little ridiculous.

April Fool's Day (1986)

I can’t believe it’s almost April already. 2016 has just flown past so far. Anyway, here’s a thematically appropriate, Throwback Thursday, April Fool’s Day movie for you. And it’s not bad. It’s not great either, but it’s not bad.

I thought at first this might be one of the earliest “found footage” horror films ever made, but they moved away from the handheld camera gimmick pretty quickly (for which I’m thankful). It was a cute way to get some character development out of the way, though, and set a silly scene for the rest of the film. And it’s a pretty silly film.

Army of Darkness (1992)

So, I like this movie okay. It’s definitely more “comedy” than “horror-comedy” and definitely the most absurd of the Evil Dead movies.

As Above, So Below (2014)

This movie was pretty good, but not great. The acting was fine, and the setting was definitely creepy, but I just couldn’t get into it.

This may have been partly because I found the “found footage” aspect a bit dizzying and nauseating, and partly because there just wasn’t a good payoff at the end.

At the Devil's Door (2014)

This was another one that wasn’t a bad movie, but wasn’t a good movie either. It started off strong — Ashley Rickards can act, and it definitely had the creepy factor going for it (Michael Massee really helps set that scene…he is always creepy).

Unfortunately, about twenty minutes in the plot holes start to add up and are never quite filled. It’s like they were trying to do too many things in one film, and didn’t excel at any of them.

Babysitter Wanted (2007)

This movie wasn’t bad. I like scary movies about babysitting partly because I used to babysit and partly because they generally aren’t about people making terrible choices when faced with some terrifying antagonist.

This is mostly true of Angie the babysitter here, and Sarah Thompson delivers the role nicely. The supporting cast is full of good actors who also deliver here, including the young Kai Caster as Sam. 

Banshee Chapter (2013)

I really, really like this movie. The first time I watched it was on a big TV in a dark room and it scared the crap out of me. There are a lot of jump scares in this one, but they don’t feel cheap. The tension has already been built up and so the jump scares feel like just a relief rather than comic relief.

This is a story “based on actual events” that genuinely does something original. I appreciate that it poses a bunch of questions but then answers them as well. There are times when it’s appropriate to leave something to your audience’s imaginations, but I feel that many films use it as a crutch instead of a statement. This movie has an opinion and doesn’t leave you feeling unsatisfied at the end.

Barbarian (2022)

Ok, full disclosure, I first saw this movie at a movie theater, on my own, late at night. On top of that, I dropped my phone under my seat, like ALL the way under my seat, sometime during the first half of the film, and had to wait until it ended to sheepishly ask random guy next to me to shine his phone light under the seat so I could retrieve it. Thankfully he was amenable and it was a relatively easy retrieve, but it definitely added a MOOD to the first time I watched this.

Bereavement (2010)

I like this one, but I don’t really have a good reason to. The story is interesting (if a bit convoluted and contrived) but that’s about all this really has going for it.

The pacing is all over the place – at times things feel busy and hectic and the action happens at a mile a minute, while at others the film seems to drag on endlessly while the characters prattle on about one thing or another.

Berlin Syndrome (2017)

As I was watching this rather long movie, I was thinking about why it hits so hard and feels so terrifying. I think it’s because it’s a film about the possible horrors of being a young woman…directed and written by women. So it’s more chilling and feels more real than either Men or A Thousand Little Cuts.

Bird Box (2018)

So, this one I definitely remember reading. I think I may have even read this before the movie came out, but after the movie was announced? Either way, I’m pretty sure it was my first Josh Malerman book, and since then I’ve ready Malorie (the sequel to Bird Box), Daphne, Black Mad Wheel, Inspection, Pearl, and Goblin, so I guess you could say I liked his writing!

Birth/Rebirth (2023)

I wanted to really like this movie. For most of the film, I was ready to give it four stars, but then it just kind of…ended. It’s nicely shot and the acting is great, but the pacing and the payoff fell flat for me.

Black Christmas (2006)

Remember how I said I hoped the cast of this one could hold a candle to the cast of the original? Of course you do; that was yesterday.

Black Christmas (1974)

I was surprised by how much I liked this movie. I shouldn’t have been, because I love Christmas and slasher films, but for some reason I had low expectations for this. I’m happy to say it exceeded those expectations.

Black Swan (2010)

I think maybe I didn’t include this movie in 2016 because I waffle at times on whether this is truly a “scary” story…but I’m coming down on the side of thinking it’s a worthwhile addition to the list. And not just because Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman get it on, though that might broaden the appeal.

Blade (1998)

Okay, this is another highly nostalgia-driven rating, but I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t give it five stars.

Blair Witch (2016)

Miss me yet? I bet you thought I forgot about you. It’s a new year, which means a whole new promise to myself. Did you know it’s really time consuming to watch (and write about) a movie every day for a year? I don’t think I’m going to do that again any time soon.

Blood Creek (2009)

On the surface this has all the makings of a good movie. It’s a Joel Schumacher horror film starring Michael Fassbender (with Henry Cavill and Dominic Purcell thrown in as well).

Sadly it just didn’t grab me the way Schumacher’s other films have. It was about halfway in before I felt it even got interesting.

It definitely wasn’t Michael Fassbender’s fault, though. That man can be seriously creepy when he wants to be, and he definitely wanted to be in this one.

Blow Out (1981)

So I originally watched this last week, because it shows up on a bunch of lists for “best scary movies set on the 4th of July,” but…this movie is NOT set on the 4th of July. Who wears winter coats and hats in July in Philadelphia? No no, this film takes place on and around “Liberty Day”…but given the climax with the big parade with fireworks and Uncle Sam and ALLLLLLL the red, white, and blue throughout the movie, I can definitely see why it’s on a lot of lists. Even if they’re wrong.

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

Ugh. I wanted to like this one so much more. Seriously, a movie with cute girls getting high and making out, AND Pete Davidson? How could it not at least be fun!

I don’t really have the answer to “how”, but I did not at least find this movie fun. I found it extremely boring. Maybe I’m too old for this movie? It felt pretty solidly “Gen Z” the whole way through.

..Oh…oh no…am I Greg??

Bones (2001)

I think there’s something to be said for a movie that gives you exactly what you expect of it, and that’s basically how I felt about this one.

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)

I’m giving this movie three stars, but barely, and it’s mostly because I really like Erica Leerhsen. This is a weird movie, and one that just really has no reason to exist.

Borderland (2007)

This movie was long and kind of boring. The story itself was reasonably interesting but the movie was weirdly paced and soooo slow.

Butcher Boys (2013)

I probably should have guessed from the title (and the cover picture), but this movie was lots of violence and very little story.

So little, in fact, that I really have nothing else to say about this one.

It’s…almost watchable? It’s only an hour and a half but feels like forever so if you’ve got the option to skip this one, take it.

Cabin Fever (2003)

It’s my birthday, and I wasn’t quite sure which movie to watch to celebrate. I settled on this, which seemed fitting for a rainy weekend spent mostly at home. I think it was the right choice, as it’s always provided me a few laughs.

Cabin Fever was the first I’d ever heard of Eli Roth, and what a first impression it was. This has been one of my guilty pleasure movies since I first saw it. I mean, come on, Rider Strong is in it! And the “pancakes” kid! And that ridiculous call back with the rifle in the general store…so good.

Cam2Cam (2014)

I’ve been on a streak of above-average movies lately because I got a new job (yay!) which has left me a bit sleepy at the end of the day (boo!) and unwilling to put up with less-than-stellar movies. But it’s my second week now, so I’ve started getting used to the new schedule and can start watching and reviewing terrible movies again.

Just not tonight. Cam2Cam isn’t a 4 out of 5, but it’s not terrible. The acting is great, the story interesting, and the scenery (in Bangkok) beautiful. Plus the main character’s name is Allie.

Campfire Tales (1997)

I thought this one would be a lot more fun than it was! Essentially this was very similar to Urban Legend, though I guess this movie came first, AND (briefly) has Amy Smart!

Candyman (2021)

When this movie started, I was all set to give it four stars just for the understated credits sequence and the foggy Chicago skyline angles. But by the end I couldn’t quite bring myself to rate it so highly.

Candyman (1992)

There’s something about the familiar that can be so scary. I think Candyman has always been particularly scary to me because it’s set in Chicago. I recognize the highways from above, I attended classes in that college, and I stared out my window at Cabrini Green every time we drove to my grandparents’ condo downtown. Everything about the movie (except, thankfully, for the Candyman) is so familiar.

And can I just say that Philip Glass should have done the music for every horror movie ever? That opening sequence is fantastic and incredibly haunting.

Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1995)

I wanted to celebrate Mardi Gras today by finding a movie somehow related to the holiday, and discovered there are surprisingly few out there. There are several horror movies that use (Louisiana) voodoo and similar folklore to build their story, but very few actually take place during Mardi Gras.

There is a movie called Mardi Gras Massacre, but everything I’ve read about it says it’s awful, and I was hesitant to do my first non-Thursday throwback review for something I knew would be terrible. Then I found that most of the events in this movie take place around Mardi Gras, and decided to make it the first sequel I’ve reviewed (it’s the second movie in the Candyman franchise) and the first throwback review I’ve done on a day other than Thursday. And I’m glad I did, because I mostly liked it.

Cape Fear (1991)

I forgot that this being a Martin Scorsese film meant it was going to be looooong. And it was long, but it wasn’t quite the slow burn of the original. And it was definitely much darker.

Captivity (2007)

Okay, I’ll admit this movie is much more of a guilty pleasure than a great film. I just find it very fun to watch, so I’ve seen it quite a few times. I’ve even put it on as background noise while working more than once.

It’s not much more than torture porn, but Elisha Cuthbert is so adorable that I can pretty much forgive her anything. And believe me, Jennifer is a character who needs some forgiveness. Despite the character development they try to build throughout the film, Jennifer is not a very sympathetic character. Gary is even less so.

Carrie (2013)

I’m surprising even myself by saying this, but I think I like this one just a little bit better than the original. Now don’t get me wrong – I still think the original Carrie is classic horror and shouldn’t be skipped. But this one seemed to flow better. And the payoff seemed…more worth it?

Interestingly, while I was more familiar with some of the actors in this one, Judy Greer is the only one I felt was cast well. Well, that’s not quite true. I think Julianne Moore was excellent as Margaret White, but I didn’t believe her as Chloë Grace Moretz’s mother.

Carrie (1976)

I’ve always liked this movie. I’m sure that’s partly because my mom likes it and partly because I always secretly wanted to discover that I had telekinetic powers. I like this movie despite an unfortunate incident involving me watching this movie and a palmetto bug.

I suppose I also always liked this movie because of John Travolta. Despite the jerk of a character he plays as Billy, I even liked him in this movie. And Sissy Spacek is incredible. Carrie White is such a sympathetic character that I really felt for her every step of the way. Amy Irving helps round out the great cast, with Piper Laurie really shining as Margaret White. 

Carver (2008)

If you’ve been struggling to understand what I mean by “understated” when I talk about opening credits, this movie is a great example of opening credits that are not understated. That probably should have been a warning to me, but I kept watching anyway.

I won’t say that watching this movie made me want to carve out my own eyes, but I won’t say that it didn’t, either. You can probably skip this one. Even the brief boob shot isn’t enough to redeem it.

Case 39 (2009)

Overall, I like this one. It’s not too graphic (though I’d hesitate to recommend it if you’re squeamish around bugs) and it’s well acted with an interesting story. Not the most original of stories, but an interesting one nonetheless.

Jodelle Ferland plays the creepy little girl just so damn well. But let’s be honest – if you name your daughter Lilith, you’re kind of asking for evil demon trouble, aren’t you? I can never tell if I like Renée Zellweger or not and this one definitely didn’t make the decision for me. She was okay, but I just wasn’t feeling it – I have to assume it’s partly because her character is kind of an idiot in this.

Catacombs (2007)

This one’s okay. It’s got Pink (listed as Alecia Moore) and Shannyn Sossamon, so the acting was pretty good.

It’s got the catacombs under Paris, so the setting was pretty good.

Cell (2016)

Wow. Just…wow. This movie was a disappointment. It’s based on a Stephen King novel I have read – and one I quite liked, at that. But I did not like this movie.

It was boring, it lacked emotion, and it was a poorly paced adaptation of the story. It feels strange to me to rate anything with such a great cast lower than three out of five, but I couldn’t bring myself to go past two out of five for this one.

Cellar Door (2024)

I genuinely have no good reason for liking this as much as I did. It’s slow, there’s not a whole lot of action, and even the creepy house isn’t that creepy!

Cherry Falls (2000)

I figured this was going to be a weird movie, and I was certain of it when, relatively early on in the film, Jody (Brittany Murphy) sat on her bed and asked her father (Michael Biehn), with a straight face, “are you disappointed that I’m still a virgin?” I guess the tagline of “Lose your innocence…or lose your life” should have tipped me off earlier.

So yes, it’s weird, but it’s not bad. It’s got a great cast – Brittany Murphy, Jay Mohr, and Michael Biehn, plus Jesse Bradford for a (very) brief cameo. So the acting is good and the group chemistry is there, but the characters get increasingly stupider and it becomes more and more difficult to relate to them.

Child's Play (2019)

Since I watched all the Friday the 13th movies a few months back, I decided to watch this remake (reimagining?) instead. I really like Aubrey Plaza, but this movie was kind of a disappointment.

Child's Play (1988)

I know this is one of those iconic ’80s horror movies, but I’m admitting to you all right now that tonight was the first time I’d ever seen it.

Sure, I knew most of what it was about but I don’t think I’d ever realized that Catherine Hicks (whom I know from 7th Heaven which I totally never ever watched) and Chris Sarandon were in it. In fact, I may have been confusing Child’s Play with Problem Child because I kept expecting John Ritter to pop up on screen (he never did).

Children of the Corn (1984)

I’m surprised I haven’t already reviewed a Stephen King adaptation. I realized this was one I hadn’t already seen or read, which is impressive because I’ve seen and read a lot of Stephen King. Like, a lot. Anyway, it seemed like an appropriate choice for my first Stephen King review.

I may be a bit biased, but I haven’t met a Stephen King adaptation I don’t like. I think it’s partly because King is so great at describing scenes in such detail that a visual adaptation can’t help but be true to the original. 

Choose (2011)

Sadly this was another mediocre film. At best.

But it did have Kevin Pollack and Katheryn Winnick so it had that going for it?

The music is overbearing, the pacing excruciatingly slow, and the story altogether a bit boring.

I’d skip this one unless you can’t avoid it. It’s good background noise. At best.

Christine (1983)

I’m still catching up on sleep this week so I’m a bit tired but I’ll try to do this movie some justice. I’ll admit that nostalgia may be biasing my opinion on this one – it’s another movie I remember watching with my mom when I was younger. It’s also the first place I heard the song “Bad to the Bone.”

Cobweb (2023)

This is a weird movie and I feel weird about it. I definitely was on the fence between three and four stars, but ultimately I think it’s more of a high three stars than a full four stars.

Come Back to Me (2014)

I have to admit, I think part of the reason I rated this at four out of five is because I was surprised at how interesting I found it. It’s based off of a book, and if the adaptation is true to the story at all I think I want to read this book.

Come to Daddy (2019)

Today is my dad’s birthday, so I’m watching this…in his honor? That’s maybe a little weird, I know. But I do love Elijah Wood (even more so since he showed up for season 2 of Yellowjackets!) and Stephen McHattie, so this movie already had that going for it.

Contracted (2013)

Tonight’s post is a special one, because it’s really half of a post. I saw the first Contracted a year or two ago on Netflix, and while I mostly liked it, I always felt there was something missing and I wasn’t sure how to articulate it.

I saw that the sequel was recently added on Netflix and was pretty excited, but wanted to watch the first one again – it had been a while since I’d seen the original, and I read that the second started immediately after the events of the first. And it turns out, I’m pretty sure what was missing from the first movie was…the second movie.

Cooties (2014)

I was a bit skeptical of this one at first as I wasn’t sure Leigh Whannell could pull off a horror comedy, but I really liked it.

It didn’t dwell too much on the cutesy side of things and the comedy was reasonably smart.

I loved the cast and the special effects were great.

Basically this is a really fun movie to watch. I’m still sleepy today so I’m still leaving this short, but I definitely recommend this one if you’re into, umm…zombie comedies? Zomedies?

Crazy Eights (2006)

This one falls apart a bit if you start thinking about the plot too hard, but it’s pretty good. The setting is interesting (an abandoned old mansion/asylum), the antagonist is creepy (again, if you don’t try to think her character through too much), and the acting is slightly above average.

Creep (2004)

I don’t have much to say about this one. I like Franka Potente, though her character’s not super likable in this.

Creep (2014)

I’m really tired today, so I don’t have too much to say about this one tonight. I liked it a lot, it’s super creepy, and maybe I’ll come back and write more about it tomorrow.

Creep 2 (2017)

I decided I wasn’t going to rewatch the first movie before rewatching this one, and…I’m not sure if that was a disservice to this or what, but I just wasn’t as entertained by this sequel as I remember being the first time I saw it.

Cube (1997)

I really feel like I shouldn’t like this movie. I mean, the acting isn’t great, the dialogue is awful, and the music is ridiculous.

And yet, somehow, I still think it’s pretty great. Even almost 20 years since its release, I could still watch this movie over and over and over again.

Cuckoo (2024)

I liked this one quite a bit, but I’m struggling to find something to say about why.

Cujo (1983)

I think I like Stephen King best when he’s really imaginative. The Regulators and Desperation are two of my favorite King novels, and there is some seriously fantastical stuff in them.

So it makes sense that I’ve never read Cujo. I do find it interesting that I like horror movies best when they’re more grounded in reality, but horror fiction best when it’s not.

Curve (2015)

Netflix has been on such a roll lately that I figured I’d give this one a try as well. Sadly, I didn’t enjoy it as much as the other Netflix suggestions I’ve watched recently.

That sad, it was okay. Julianne Hough (Mallory) and Teddy Sears (Christian) both delivered excellent performances, and the car accident (and scenes leading up to it) was harrowing. It also wasn’t entirely predictable; I found myself wondering what was going to happen next at several points during the film.

Dark Harvest (2023)

You know those movies that are set in the 1960s but you just don’t believe that anyone involved in the movie was even alive during that time? This is one of those movies. Everyone seems very 21st century.

Dark House (2014)

I picked this one because it has Tobin Bell in it and was directed by Victor Salva (of Jeepers Creepers and Jeepers Creepers 2 fame). Luckily neither disappointed me! I find Tobin Bell is usually the best part of whatever he’s in and that’s never been more true than in this movie. Tobin Bell’s kind of a badass in this one and it’s almost worth a four out of five just for that.

Dashcam (2022)

After how much I enjoyed Host, I was really looking forward to this one. Unfortunately it was kind of a letdown.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

As you may have guessed, I love this movie. I saw it in theaters when it came out. Twice. And I almost never see things in theaters. I know it’s not perfect, but I’d be lying to myself (and my readers) if I rated it anything less than 5 out of 5. Today’s viewing confirmed that, of course.

(Spoiler alert. There might be a lot of spoilers for this one.)

Daybreakers (2009)

As some kind of social/political allegory this movie is a bit overbearing and riding a slippery slope in an extreme direction. As a vampire movie, it’s pretty damn entertaining. Or at least refreshing in that these vampires don’t sparkle, they don’t go to high school, and they definitely don’t get tangled in love triangles with werewolves.

No, these are traditional vampires – stakes and sunlight kills them, and they need human blood or they’ll turn into mutated versions of themselves left with nothing but a primal need to feed. And there’s a lot of blood in this movie. Just not enough to sustain a vampire population much longer.

I could have done without the heavy handed clarity around whose side the filmmakers were on – if the contrast between the gloomy blue of the night world and the bright vibrancy of the daytime weren’t clear enough, the cure (and the twist) will be. But the world this movie takes place in is an interesting one even if its characters are pretty flat, and what this movie lacks in scares it makes up for in bloody action scenes.

Overall it’s reasonably entertaining, and it does get some credit for bringing the traditional vampire story back into the mainstream. No sparkling necessary.

Dead Awake (2010)

Oh wow. It feels so weird to rate anything with Amy Smart only one star, but this movie was SO BORING. And so pointless.

Dead End (2003)

I loved this movie. I mean, of course I loved this movie. It’s got Ray Wise and Lin Shaye and a strange, silly plot. What better present for Christmas Eve?

Dead of Winter (1987)

When I originally picked Dead of Winter for this week, I wasn’t fully expecting it to actually BE the dead of winter for us, but I probably should have. We’re blanketed in snow and it’s freezing outside. Below freezing, even.

But if I was hoping this movie would keep me warm, I was wrong. There’s a good story in there (and apparently this was a loose remake of a 1945 film?), but it takes way too long to tell it, and there’s not enough tension or action to keep the audience hooked for so long.

Dead Silence (2007)

Well, I have very little to say about this movie.

It’s got a silly premise, over-the-top effects, and a surprisingly great cast. I had forgotten Laura Regan was in this one, and I think I like Ryan Kwanten. Plus Bob Gunton’s cameo was awesome.

Deadgirl (2008)

This one is weird. And I know, I know, I like weird – and I do like this movie – but it’s still weird. And it takes on a subject that’s really easy to do poorly and offensively.

Deadly Blessing (1981)

Okay, I know I said last week that it’s hard to go wrong with Wes Craven, but this one kind of did.

Deadly Friend (1986)

I’m going to be so honest right now that I’m watching this the day after the US presidential election and I am certain that’s having a major impact on how I feel about this film…but I found it so weird and funny and entertaining.

Death of Me (2020)

There’s a lot to like about this film, but it didn’t quite land for me.

Demonic (2015)

I mostly liked this one. It’s well acted (I like Maria Bello and Frank Grillo – and that their names are kind of similar) and definitely creepy (though that could just be the abandoned house again).

Desperation (2006)

This is another made-for-TV adaptation of a Stephen King novel. One of my favorite Stephen King novels, in fact! It’s second only to The Regulators, which takes place in the same universe, sort of.

Devil Times Five (1974)

So, first things first, I have no idea what to call this movie. I first heard of it as Peopletoys, which was an intriguing enough name…and when I looked it up to pull movie details, it was listed as Devil Times Five, which is…fine, I guess.

Then I started the film, and the title screen shows The Horrible House on the Hill, and when I went to look that up to make sure it was the same film, I learned it was also released on video as Tantrums, which I think I like better than both Devil Times Five and The Horrible House on the Hill, but not as much as Peopletoys.

Now, all that out of the way, this movie is not as good as ANY of its names.

Disturbing Behavior (1998)

Look, I’m really sorry that so many of my reviews for this year are pure nostalgia. This probably isn’t really a five-star movie, but I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I love everything about it.

Doctor Sleep (2019)

Okay, I was…hesitant to watch this, because it’s a two and a half hour movie, but it IS Mike Flanagan (AND Stephen King), and I watched The Shining last time around, so it had to be included here. And I’m glad it was.

Dog Soldiers (2002)

As you might expect of a film called Dog Soldiers, this was pretty silly. But it was silly in the way that only British humor can be. Or perhaps it’s not actually funny, it’s just that I love the British accent so much.

Don't Breathe (2016)

Holy crap. This movie is terrifying. Don’t Breathe is the perfect name for it. I know I found myself holding my breath more than once during this one.

Don't Look Now (1973)

I honestly wish I had more to say about this movie. Especially because it stars the late, great, Donald Sutherland. And, like…ALL of Donald Sutherland.

Don't Worry Darling (2022)

Oh hey, another movie I first saw alone in theaters! Unlike yesterday’s, though, I kept my phone for the whole thing. And it wasn’t dark outside when I exited the theater. So, I guess slightly less of a mood to carry over on rewatch? Which is ok, because honestly the real-life drama surrounding this movie was more a thing of interest than the drama in the story, and even that faded pretty quickly.

Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde (1976)

I found this movie interesting, if a bit slow and campy. This movie was directed by William Crain, who also directed Blacula. I found this movie more straightforward and less ethereal than Blacula, but maybe not as entertaining?

Dread (2009)

I don’t have a lot to say about this movie because there wasn’t a lot going on for most of it. In fact, it was more than two-thirds of the way through before anything really scary happened – before that it’s all just talk about fear.

Eden Lake (2008)

Y’know, I tried reeeeeeeally hard to avoid it, but this movie is fine. It’s just fine.

Eve's Bayou (1997)

I loved this movie. It’s not a terrific scary movie, but it is an epic, fantastic story. And EVERYONE in the movie was just so good.

Evil Dead (2013)

In contrast to the original, 2013’s Evil Dead is a movie that speaks to me. It’s a darker take than the 1981 film, it’s definitely scarier, and I like it a lot. I saw it in the theater with a bunch of friends opening week (something I almost never do), and since then it’s been one of the few several horror movies I find myself watching over and over and over again.

The movie lures you in with a powerful start and stays strong throughout. The effects are well done, the pacing is comfortable, and the cast is awesome (and should be familiar to some horror fans). Jane Levy (as Mia) was one the only one I hadn’t seen in anything else before this, and I was really impressed with her performance.

Evil Dead II (1987)

Ah, here’s an Evil Dead movie I can really get behind. I mentioned way back when that I wasn’t a huge fan of the original, but I liked the others, and watching this again today…yeah, that’s still true.

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

I was on the fence on how to rate this one, but ultimately decided on four stars over three because it was pretty entertaining. This one is maybe the least comedic of the Evil Dead movies? And yet also somehow still absurd?

Fear Clinic (2014)

I’m a bit tired tonight, but I liked this movie. The acting was good (I love Robert Englund), the story was interesting and original, and the twist was done well.

It’s definitely disturbing but it’s also scary as hell so I’d recommend it if you’re into that kind of thing.

Final Destination (2000)

I don’t have much to say about this one but it definitely takes me back. I remember when this came out! I don’t think I saw it in theaters, but I know I liked it because I had a huge crush on Devon Sawa (I mean, so did most of the other girls in school at the time).

Anyway, it’s well paced, interesting, and well acted (y’know, for a bunch of post-teenagers trying to play high schoolers). It was really scary the first time I saw it (I mean, Tony Todd is in it!) but less so the second, third, or fifteenth time. I’d still recommend it pretty broadly if you’re into scary movies – it holds up pretty well 16 years later!

Final Destination 2 (2003)

I’m a bit sick this weekend and looking at computer screens isn’t helping so I’ll be brief.

This is a decent sequel, though it feels a bit more dated – it’s like they try to use technology to seem hip (like…Mapquest) but it’s not working so well over a decade later.

Was it a necessary sequel? Not really, but few are. Still, this one was reasonably well acted and reasonably entertaining.

Final Destination 3 (2006)

So we’re getting to the point in the franchise where I start to wonder…is there a point to the franchise? There’s nothing new here.

While it’s vaguely reminiscent of the Saw franchise in that the appeal is largely in the intricate death scenes, this franchise seems to be marketed towards a completely different target audience.

The Saw franchise is torture porn, through and through, but somehow the Final Destination franchise feels more about survival than torture. The stars of these films are the ones trying to make it out – see the other side of “death’s design” as they call it.

Final Destination 5 (2011)

I’m feeling better tonight, finally. Getting over this cold or sinus infection or something.

Anyway, this movie wasn’t so bad. I definitely was able to sit through these with much less trouble than the last few Saw movies.

And the very end? I guess I should have seen that one coming. Well done.

Final Girl (2015)

I have no strong feelings about this movie, in any direction. It wasn’t bad, but…it wasn’t great, either. There just wasn’t anything special about it.

Flatliners (1990)

Maybe it’s that thing I have for Kiefer Sutherland (or Oliver Platt), but I’ve always liked this movie.

Perhaps it’s because Joel Schumacher seems to have a thing for Kiefer Sutherland as well? Regardless, Joel Schumacher does know how to entertain me.

Okay, the last scene and the end credits score are a bit cheesy, but it actually feels like a nice payoff to all the tension build up here.

The acting is great – aside from Platt and Sutherland there’s also Julia Roberts, Kevin Bacon, and Billy Baldwin to round out a rather spectacular cast. Everyone was believable and pretty impressive here.

Follow Me (2020)

I worry it’s going to be difficult to say too much about this movie without spoiling it, but I’m going to try, because I liked it more than I anticipated.

Frailty (2002)

So, I had mentioned before that there’s a Matthew McConaughey horror movie I knew I liked, and this is it.

Freaks of Nature (2015)

This is a horror comedy that’s neither horror nor comedy. Which is disappointing, as it has a lot of familiar comedic faces (Keegan-Michael Key! Patton Oswalt! Bob Odenkirk!) and some other great familiar faces as well. But it just doesn’t land anything.

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

Honestly, most of this movie was significantly better than I was expecting. The first hour plus was entertaining and hilarious and FULL of familiar faces.

Seriously, Katharine Isabelle AND Lochlyn Munro are in this! Along with Jason Ritter, Monica Keena, Kelly Rowland, and on and on and on…

Fresh (2022)

Ok, this is a movie I actually appreciate MORE the second time around, even knowing all the reveals. It’s so entertaining and there are a ton of little details I may not have picked up on when I watched it the first time, and I loved it this time.

Friday the 13th (2009)

It’s hard for me to tell if I liked this movie more than the original because it was a better movie or because it had a more familiar cast (but no Kevin Bacon), but whatever the reason, I did like it more. It’s got a decent cast, well done background music, and a couple of good one-liners.

This is another one of those remakes that’s more like a sequel than a remake, and one of those remakes that tries to be scarier or darker than its original, and in this case, both of these work. It feels more polished and sure of itself than the original.

Friday the 13th (1980)

Would you believe I’d never seen this movie before today? I’ve seen clips of it several times, and I’m familiar with the character of Jason Voorhees, but I’d never gotten around to watching this from start to finish before.

And I’m a little disappointed. I figured with Kevin Bacon in it, it had to be good! But it was just okay. Not bad, but not as good as, say, A Nightmare on Elm Street (then again, few things are). And no, I don’t plan on seeing Freddy vs. Jason any time soon. Unless I run out of other movies to watch first.

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

So I am going to watch a LOT of Friday the 13th films this month, leading up to and just after Friday, September 13th. Like, a lot. I want to say ten different movies starting with this one.

So I’m going to try to change up my viewing habits for this collection and not only watch these a little earlier, but also swap between this franchise and the other movies on my calendar, because ten Jason movies in a row is A LOT. We’ll see if this plan makes it any easier.

Friday the 13th Part III (1982)

Yeah, this…really doesn’t bode well for the rest of this series, but I’m sticking to it. I really wanted to give this one a chance! It’s (spoiler alert?) the first appearance of the hockey mask! It’s another direct sequel!

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

I didn’t really like this one, and I don’t have too much to say about it.

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

I guess I can see what this movie was going for, but I didn’t find it super entertaining.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

This entry in the franchise was just boring. I like the idea of a change of scenery, but the execution here didn’t really work for me.

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

This one wasn’t bad. It wasn’t great, and it definitely wasn’t as good as yesterday’s, but it was better than the second and third entries in the franchise. It was just okay.

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

Oh, now THIS is a Friday the 13th movie I can get behind! How did I not know that (very young) Corey Feldman was in this? That’s not the only reason I liked this, but it certainly helped.

Friend Request (2016)

I’ve had this movie on my watch list for a long time and am only just getting around to it. It was okay, but nothing special. It’s one of those films where there’s an interesting story but sometimes the special effects are too laughable to be scary.

Fright Night (2011)

I’m tired and my clothes smell like Downy so I’ll be quick. Tonight’s movie was better than last night’s movie in practically every way.

Also, it has David Tennant. And of course Anton Yelchin. Watch this movie. Don’t watch the other movie.

Fright Night (1985)

I’d never seen this movie before and went in without much in the way of expectations. Luckily that meant I wasn’t too let down when this turned out to be an unremarkably average attempt at horror/comedy.

Let’s just say that The Lost Boys did the same thing way better a couple years later. In fact, all three of those movies did the same thing better than this one.

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

I’ve been feeling a bit off this week and today I kind of wanted to watch something silly that I’d seen (and liked) before. Originally I was thinking Planet Terror, but then I remembered it’s Thursday and Planet Terror is definitely not 20 years old yet. So I picked the next best thing.

Can you believe it’s been 20 years since this movie came out? Okay, I’ll be honest, I can totally believe it, especially with how young George Clooney and Juliette Lewis look in it. But you know what? It still holds up.

From Within (2008)

I’m still sleepy and still don’t have too much to say. I liked this, but I really really wanted it to be better. There are a lot of places where it falls a bit flat. Taken individually, everything seems right – the music is good, there aren’t distracting artsy camera tricks, everyone knows how to act. Even the dialogue isn’t bad. But somehow all of the good components don’t add up to a great movie.

Frozen (2010)

This movie isn’t really a horror film, but it’s definitely a scary story. And since everything that happens in the film could technically happen in real life, it’s even more terrifying.

It’s interesting how a movie with essentially one location and three characters can be so engaging, but there wasn’t any point in the movie that dragged on or seemed unnecessary. The character development is impressive, though I suppose a movie like this would have to do that well. It definitely wouldn’t work if the characters weren’t sympathetic.

Funny Games (2008)

I like this movie, but it is hard to watch.

Gaia (2021)

Happy Earth Day! Here’s a South African eco-horror indie film for you. Well, maybe not for you. It depends on how you feel about slow burn horror movies, I guess.

Ganja & Hess (1973)

I thought this movie was beautiful, hypnotic, weird, and smart, and just a little too long.

Get Out (2017)

I like this one a lot. It has so many familiar faces who are all fantastic. It has the perfect score. It’s well-directed and well-paced.

Ginger Snaps (2000)

First, content and mild spoiler warning for early talk of suicide and some pretty gory imagery, especially for dog lovers.

Okay, so, apologies, this is another primarily nostalgia-driven rating. Why? Because I love Katharine Isabelle SO MUCH, and the scene where…well, where Ginger snaps, is so good.

Grave Encounters 2 (2012)

I liked this one about as much as I liked the first one. The camerawork and lighting was a bit better. The characters were almost as unlikable as the first group, but I’m a little more forgiving because they’re a bunch of college kids.

Green Room (2016)

Funny enough, I didn’t realize that tonight’s movie starred both Anton Yelchin and Imogen Poots – just like last night’s movie. And I’m rating this one four out of five, also like last night’s movie. But aside from those two things, this movie is nothing like last night’s movie.

Halloween (2018)

I…kind of knew from the beginning of this movie that it wasn’t going to be my cup of tea. It felt overly artsy for a Halloween movie, and definitely too slow for my liking. But I kept going, particularly because I knew Jamie Lee Curtis was back in this one.

Halloween (2007)

So. Rob Zombie’s remake of John Carpenter’s Halloween. Sorry, I should say reimagining. In some ways, it reminded me of Michael Bay’s Nightmare on Elm Street remake. But mostly it didn’t remind me of that at all. And mostly I liked this one. I just wish it weren’t so long. It’s really long.

Halloween (1978)

There’s not much I can say about this movie that hasn’t already been said better elsewhere.

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

So I’m finding that on the whole these sequels are better than most of the Friday the 13th sequels, but that doesn’t really make them good. They’re just passable.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

I don’t have too much to say about this one, except that it feels like “a thing” that when a franchise reaches a certain number of films, it has to have a telepathic child connected with the antagonist somehow?

Halloween Ends (2022)

Yeah…I have nothing to say about this movie.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)

First of all, I’ll admit right now that I haven’t seen any of the other Halloween sequels, so I’m probably missing some context. That said, you could watch this movie on its own and still follow along with the story.

Halloween II (2009)

So, I had a lot to say about Rob Zombie’s original Halloween remake, particularly that I quite liked it. This…not so much. But I want to preface this by saying I’ve been in a bit of a mood lately, so it’s totally possible it’s just me?

Halloween II (1981)

Okay, welcome to another round of “too many movies in a single franchise”! Probably similar to the Friday the 13th collection, I’m not going to watch these all back to back. Also, fair warning, some of this is going to be posted out of order. Like, I’m not watching Halloween 3 until next week, because it’s basically a standalone film unrelated to Laurie Strode and Michael Myers and it fits better with my schedule this way.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Happy Halloween! I hope you get all the candy you want tonight!

Halloween Kills (2021)

I’m sorry, I don’t think I’ll have much to say about this one or tomorrow’s movie, other than I’ll be glad to be finally done with this franchise.

Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

Okay, this definitely wasn’t as bad as yesterday’s movie. This one is actually a direct sequel to Halloween H20, so we’ve graduated timelines, I guess?

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

Wow…this was a bad movie. And it has PAUL RUDD in it! And it was still bad.

Hatchet (2006)

I like Adam Green. Frozen was a pretty good one, and there’s another one he did that I’m planning on watching soon that I remember liking…though that one features Ray Wise, so maybe that’s why I liked it. This one unfortunately wasn’t his best work. It’s another attempted parody that misses its mark. You don’t want a slasher film to be boring, and this one is pretty boring.

Hellraiser (1987)

I watched this for the first time tonight and found myself mostly unimpressed. I imagine that it would have given me nightmares had I seen it when I was much younger, but the scary scenes were limited and overshadowed by the echoing audio effects, and the weird pacing and awkward jump cuts made it a bit hard to follow.

It felt very much like an 80’s horror movie that didn’t quite hold up through the years. That said, although I haven’t read any Clive Barker (I’ve mostly stuck with Stephen King and Christopher Pike, with some R. L. Stine thrown in for good measure), this story intrigued me enough to want to read his original novella and look into his other works.

Hereditary (2018)

I don’t think I like this movie as much as Midsommar, but I still like it quite a bit. So it’s maybe a low four stars for me. It definitely feels as long as it is, but there’s a LOT packed into those two hours.

Hidden (2015)

This is a really interesting movie. It starts out strong and follows through until the ending. The acting is believable, the scenery incredibly creepy, and the suspense almost palpable.

I’m not entirely sure how to categorize this one. It’s about family, sure, and survival. It’s about doing what needs to be done to protect the ones you love. And it’s about zombies. Sort of.

Hide and Seek (2005)

SPOILER Warning: If you plan on watching this movie, just know that I love it and don’t read this review until after you’ve watched it. I don’t want to spoil anything for you.

Wow. I’d forgotten how much I like this one. Even knowing all the twists didn’t decrease my enjoyment of this movie.

This is mostly due to the phenomenal cast. While I was initially skeptical that Robert De Niro could believably play the father to Dakota Fanning (an incredibly young Dakota Fanning at that), I have to admit they both pulled it off. Famke Janssen and Elisabeth Shue were just two of the familiar faces in the supporting cast, all of whom were great.

High Tension (2003)

I’m easily distracted, so I often skip foreign movies because I know I don’t pay enough attention to the subtitles to really follow the plot. And dubbed movies, especially dubbed horror movies, are pretty hit or miss (more often on the “miss” side). But this one hits, and it hits hard.

What all that means is that I love this movie. A lot. It’s incredible how effective this movie is. “High tension” is absolutely right. This movie is a thrill ride that just doesn’t let up. The story isn’t entirely original, but the acting, the pacing, and the background music all work together to make this a really scary story.

Holidays (2016)

I like anthology movies (especially scary ones) and I figure Mother’s Day is a reasonable holiday to watch a holiday anthology movie like this one. And, well, it was a holiday horror anthology movie all right. There were definitely a bunch of horror stories loosely related to the (mostly U.S.-based) holidays.

Sadly it’s yet another movie that’s just sort of okay. I couldn’t even point out to you which of the segments was my favorite. They’re all just sort of okay.

Honeymoon (2014)

In addition to scary movies, I really like ice cream. In particular, I really like fancy small batch ice cream. Like these Double Hazelnut or Brown Butter Plum flavors made by a brand called Honeymoon. If you ever get a chance to try this brand, go for it. So far I like what I’ve tasted.

So I watched this movie partly because I’ve been eating a lot of Honeymoon ice cream, and partly because I remembered I’d liked it before. And I still liked it now. It’s very well done and the pacing is excellent.

Hostel (2006)

This movie is Eli Roth, through and through. Well, mostly anyway. I wavered a little on how highly to rate this and decided if I didn’t give it at least four out of five, I’d be lying to myself.

Watching it again now I find this movie a bit less impressive but at the time it was an original. And it’s still not bad, if you’re into this kind of thing – just make sure you’re really into this kind of thing, or you’ll probably regret watching it.

Hostel: Part II (2007)

It’s almost summer and it’s been hot outside, which means I frequently find myself not wanting to think about anything, much less which movie to watch that day. So I decided on this one. In fact, I started watching it only a few hours after watching last night’s movie, so the events from the first were fresh in my mind. I’m glad it worked out that way this time because I caught a few more details than I did the first time (with a couple years in between seeing the first and the second movies).

I haven’t seen the third installment of the franchise yet, and I’m not sure I want to. It’s not written or directed by Eli Roth, so I’m not holding high hopes that it’ll be fantastic. This one was written and directed by Eli Roth and it already wasn’t fantastic. It was okay, but it kind of felt like it was just a mix of scenes Eli Roth had to leave out of the first one. There’s little new in this one except for the characters. And they’re not all new, either.

House of Spoils (2024)

Okay, I…have no explanation for this five-star rating. Genuinely I don’t, because when I think about it, there’s…not much of a real story to this film. It’s not truly scary. It doesn’t have a whole lot of familiar faces.

House of Wax (2005)

This is another one of those teen slasher films that doesn’t have anything going for it except a relatively familiar cast. “Wait,” you might be thinking, “doesn’t Paris Hilton give this one something special?"*

No. No, she doesn’t. In fact, I probably would have rated this one higher if Paris Hilton hadn’t been involved. She’s the only one of the group who can’t act (seriously, even her screams aren’t believable), and I found myself distracted by hoping she’d just die already.

Hunger (2009)

I feel like maybe I’m not in a generous mood this week. This month? I’m feeling more sensitive to slow-burn films, particularly ones that drag along in a boring manner. Unfortunately, I seem to keep picking them.

Hush (2016)

I’m a little less tired today (mostly because I did nothing all day), but I still wanted to watch something good. It’s rare that I see a scary movie on Netflix rated anything above 3 stars, but this one had 4 so I figured I’d give it a try.

Would it be too cliche of me to say that it starts less with a bang than with a whimper? This is my 100th review, so I figure I’m allowed to be a little cliched. Anyway, I can see why it was well rated.

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

Hello, July! I can’t believe six months of 2024 have already passed! I’m not sad to leave June’s movie picks behind me, though.

I’ll be honest, I’m feeling a little bad about the lower rating on this one. I was convinced nostalgia was going to give this one a boost! But I genuinely found this movie boring when I watched it today. I have zero memory of how much I liked it when I first saw it many many years ago, but it’s kind of a newer slasher classic, so I probably enjoyed it some?

I See You (2019)

I went back and forth a bit on how highly to rate this movie, but it eventually won me over. There are a lot of pieces that don’t add up…until they do, and then they really add up.

I Spit on Your Grave (2010)

This is another horror movie remake that tries to be far more disturbing than its predecessor. It succeeds, but only superficially.

I Spit On Your Grave (1978)

I can see why this movie was controversial when it came out. Like The Last House on the Left, it shows a lot of graphic violence and rape. Unlike The Last House on the Left, this movie at least attempts to provide some character development to all sides.

While I certainly wouldn’t call the men sympathetic characters, I appreciated that this movie tried to be about more than just violence and rape.

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)

You know, I had already watched this recently (past couple years, I think?) for some reason, and even still had forgotten how fun and funny this one is. I think I may have watched it after some video talking about Jack Black’s ridiculous character? Who definitely adds to the fun, by the way.

I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer (2006)

I can see why this was direct-to-video, but I can’t honestly tell why this was made at all. It’s the shortest of the three films, and also the most boring.

Idle Hands (1999)

I chose this in honor of my favorite ex-husband’s birthday today. It has been a long time since I watched this movie. I’m glad to see it mostly holds up! As a horror-comedy that has a decent bit of both horror AND comedy!

In Fear (2013)

I’ve been procrastinating everything today, and cutting it close with this post, but here I am! I don’t know about all of you, but the first thing I want to do when I get bad news is to scary myself silly. And I got some pretty bad news today, so I knew I wanted something I’d seen before that was dark and scary but not too…thinky.

This one fulfills all of those needs and then some. I think the first time I saw this was a year or two back when it popped up as a Netflix recommendation. I’d never heard of it before, but was really impressed. It probably helped that I was watching it alone in a dark room at the time, but this movie has a lot going for it.

Indigenous (2014)

This movie was mostly okay. It was a monster movie through and through, which is kind of refreshing, but it wasn’t a great monster movie or anything. It was entertaining, though.

The only cast member I recognized was Lindsey McKeon, and I’ll admit I only recognized her by looks, not by name. But the acting wasn’t bad, and the characters were reasonably sympathetic. There were more scenes in Spanish than I was expecting, which isn’t a bad thing, but I found myself having to pay attention to the subtitles more than I had anticipated.

Interview with the Vampire (1994)

I forgot how long this movie was. I don’t think it’s the longest movie I’ve watched so far, but it may be the longest that wasn’t originally a TV miniseries adaptation of a Stephen King novel.

Intruders (2016)

Apparently there are several horror/thriller films called Intruders. I reviewed a different one earlier this year. I’m considering watching another one tomorrow night but haven’t settled yet. I suppose it’s a good sign that watching this film makes me want to watch others with the same name.

Isabelle (2019)

What did I say about liking scary movies with Adam Brody? Here’s another one! I didn’t like it as much as yesterday’s, but I didn’t hate it. It has just awful reviews online, but I watched it on a service with a bunch of ads and I still found it pretty ok, and in general I’ve learned not to trust reviews of horror movies.

It (2017)

It’s a big undertaking doing a new adaptation of a Stephen King novel, especially when the original was such a classic. And the original was long enough, but this is even longer. Sure, it’s split between two parts…but the original was a TV miniseries split between a few parts also, and this first part alone was OVER TWO HOURS.

But I have to give it credit where credit’s due. This movie is pretty scary, pretty interesting, and has some really fantastic performances by both the kids and by Bill Skarsgård as Pennywise.

It Chapter Two (2019)

Don’t watch this movie. Really, don’t watch it. It’s not worth it. I’m so mad about this movie. This movie is the longest movie I have watched yet. It beats the Suspiria remake by SEVENTEEN MINUTES. But it honestly feels even longer than that. And wholly unnecessarily.

It Follows (2014)

I went into this one expecting to be disappointed (as I usually am when something is overhyped like this movie seemed to be for a while). But you know what? I wasn’t disappointed at all. In fact, I liked this movie quite a bit.

It was scary, well acted, and an original story. I’m a little sad I didn’t watch this earlier, but glad I finally got around to it. I do think I went into it with the right expectations (read: low ones) to be thoroughly entertained.

It's a Wonderful Knife (2023)

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! This was a seasonally-appropriate film, but it wasn’t as good as I’d have liked.

It's What's Inside (2024)

I had SO MUCH FUN with this movie. Maybe it’s because I watched it with a friend I hadn’t talked to in a while. Maybe it’s because I was just in a mood to watch anything but Halloween. Or maybe it’s because this movie was super fun and entertaining!

Jack Frost (1997)

I’d never seen this one before, so it was finally time to get around to it. Honestly I knew it was going to be good from the start, with the fake kid’s voice and the ridiculous narration and the hilarious camera angles…I knew this was going to be a ride for sure.

Jack Goes Home (2016)

This was weird, dark, and disturbing, and entirely about family, love, and loss, so of course I liked it. I’m continually impressed with Rory Culkin’s performances, especially after tonight. He didn’t just play Jack here – he was the titular character.

Jacob's Ladder (1990)

I’m feeling less sleepy tonight (I caught up on sleep last night!) but I have very little to say about this one.

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Well, here we are. The last Friday the 13th film of the 20th century. And despite its subtitle, not the actual “final Friday.”

Jason X (2001)

Happy Friday the 13th! Hope you’re all doing something spooky to celebrate!

I’m so happy this movie exists. It’s so silly and stupid and I was so entertained.

Jeepers Creepers (2001)

In addition to my penchant for creepy old abandoned buildings (one of which appears in this film, in fact), I also have a penchant for old-timey songs used to incredibly creepy effect. The eponymous song in this film is a stellar example of just that (the version of “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” used in Insidious is another stellar example that I should review here eventually).

So this may sound silly (so business as usual), but Jeepers Creepers is spot on. This movie creeps me out. The Creeper is super creepy, the Creeper’s sewer is super creepy, and the Creeper’s truck is super creepy. There’s a lot about this movie that’s just super creepy. So of course I love it. And of course I’ll probably dream about the Creeper for the next few nights.

Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)

I definitely like the first movie better, but this is a pretty entertaining movie overall. As a sequel it has some problems, but as something to keep you entertained for just over an hour and a half it’s above average. This is mainly because the Creeper is still incredibly creepy, but also because the setting (a broken-down bus on a highway on a road that doesn’t seem to have many other cars) is an interesting one.

Oh. And also because of Ray Wise. Who doesn’t love Ray Wise? Even “old” Ray Wise at the end of the movie is pretty bad ass.

Jeepers Creepers 3 (2017)

Wow, my hit rate for June is LOW. I know, I know, sequels/prequels/paraquels/whatever you want to call this, made MANY years later, are rarely good. But I was hoping it would at least be relatively entertaining to see the Creeper again…but it wasn’t.

Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

Wow, people on the internet REALLY hate this movie. There are literally hundreds of one-star reviews (out of TEN!) on IMDb truly trashing everything about this movie. And I…thought it was actually okay! Better than yesterday’s movie, anyway (which somehow has better ratings on IMDb than this one).

Jennifer's Body (2009)

This is a silly movie, and I like it. It’s the first thing I ever saw Megan Fox in, which is probably why I like her so much. Amanda Seyfried is great in this, and there are even cameos by J.K. Simmons and Chris Pratt!

Sure, it’s not the scariest of movies. I’m not sure Diablo Cody knows how to write real horror, but she does know how to write teen drama. So this is another film that ends up more like a primetime teen drama and less like a really good scary story.

Jigsaw (2017)

I did not like this movie. None of the characters were likable, the story (if you can call it that) was boring and unoriginal, and the dialogue felt like it was ripped out of a bad CSI episode.

Ju-on: The Grudge (2002)

So, I didn’t realize this movie isn’t even the ORIGINAL original of the whole “Grudge” series? There are two “Ju-on” movies BEFORE this one…but I didn’t add them to my calendar, so you’ll have to watch those on your own, I guess. Here I’m going for this one first, and then the American remakes…for better or for worse.

Jug Face (2013)

Okay, can I just be a fangirl for a minute here? Not about this film (though I do like it), but about Lauren Ashley Carter (who plays Ada). She was awesome as Peggy in last night’s movie, awesome as Ada in this movie (though – oh, and spoiler warning – I do wonder if she’s going to get pigeonholed as the girl who gets pregnant by a close relative), and apparently awesome in real life.

Kill Theory (2009)

I’ll admit, this one was better than I was expecting it to be. It wasn’t great, but it had enough going for it that I felt it deserved a four out of five.

The cast worked well together and there didn’t seem to be any out-of-place terrible actors in the bunch.  The story made sense for the most part and the tension definitely built up throughout the movie.

Where it falls apart is in its exposition. I felt like the cards were shown too early and there wasn’t much payoff from the “twist” at the very end. Like, you already know who’s holding them captive…no one does anything surprising…and it ends basically as you’d expect.

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

I read the book this movie is based on, The Cabin at the End of the World, several years back, and really liked it. I’ve liked most of Paul Tremblay’s work, though surprisingly more of the longer works than his short stories.

Anyway, I was excited last year when I heard this was being made into a movie, so I reread the book in anticipation before it was release.

Late Night with the Devil (2024)

I’m honestly not too sure how to write about this movie. Not because I didn’t like it, but because I did, and I don’t really have a clear explanation for why.

Leatherface (2017)

So…this movie is also fine? Again, I don’t really think it adds much to the story. Not for lack of trying, though?

Leprechaun (1993)

Yes, this is the obvious choice for St. Patrick’s Day, but it works so well! And it’s fitting that St. Patrick’s Day falls on a Thursday this year.

I’d never actually seen this one all the way through, though I caught bits and pieces of it on network television growing up, along with its sequels. Can we all agree this was one of Warwick Davis’s more ridiculous roles? Actually, ridiculous seems an apt word for the whole movie.

Let Us Prey (2014)

I think I have a thing for Pollyanna McIntosh. She’s just so good in everything she does. Well, okay, she’s normally not good (character-wise) but her acting is fantastic. Here was no exception. Well, okay, it was kind of an exception – her character was actually good in this one. (Spoilers ahead) In fact, she was really the only good one in this movie.

Life (2017)

Ok, it’s really difficult to say…well, much of anything at all about this film, without spoiling it. So, I’ll start by saying I think this movie is really good, really tense and intense, and terrifying, and horrifying. And dark.

Everything else has spoilers ahead.

Longlegs (2024)

Finally getting around to yet another hyped up 2024 film. I do like Nicolas Cage, though, and I was pretty excited about this one. And today’s the 14th, so it felt…fitting.

Lord of Illusions (1995)

This is another movie I liked more than I really feel I should. It definitely didn’t earn it.

Seriously though, where has this movie been hiding from me? No wait, don’t answer that, I already know – 1995. This movie is all ’90s, through and through.

The first clue? Scott Bakula is first billed in the cast. Don’t get me wrong, I like Scott Bakula, I just…haven’t seen him as a leading man since the ’90s.

Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010)

I liked this one. A lot. Like, a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever loved every film in a series so damn much. The first one in a class of its own for all sorts of reasons, but these second two because Edgar Frog is just a fantastic character, and Corey Feldman, well, is Edgar Frog. In fact, if you told me that vampires do exist and Corey Feldman actually slays vampires, I’d probably believe you. Or at least I’d really want to believe you.

I think I’m glad that it took 21 years for these sequels to come out. They seem to have been thought through pretty well. Corey Feldman has only become more Frog-like as he’s aged. And I don’t think I even saw the original until 10 years after its release (though in the years since then it’s made quite an impression on me).

Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)

I was a little hesitant to watch this since I loved the original so much and sequels (especially horror sequels) often aren’t as good as their predecessors, but I gave it a shot because of Corey Feldman.

And you know what? It wasn’t bad! In fact, I rather liked it. Not quite as much as the original, but that movie is such a huge part of who I am now that I can’t really expect many other movies to mean as much to me. And Edgar Frog is still an awesome character.

Ma (2019)

This is a weird little movie with a lot of surprising familiar faces. Octavia Spencer obviously, but also Allison Janney AND Missi Pyle AND Juliette Lewis (who, by the way, is also in Yellowjackets)!

Madison County (2011)

I was waffling between rating this a 2 or a 3 out of 5, but I think what made my decision for me was one female character’s (seemingly out of place and in poor taste) use of “don’t be gay” as a retort. Seriously? I’m realizing now that it’s been years (and more than the four since this was released) since I’ve heard that used as an insult.

The dialogue was otherwise mostly okay, and the acting wasn’t bad, but the pacing seemed way off and there were times that the background music was so loud I couldn’t hear what the characters were saying.

Madman (1981)

This is a fairly standard slasher film of the 1980s. The story isn’t very original (group of folks around a campfire discussing an urban legend no one believes in), the acting isn’t great, and the “madman” isn’t super terrifying.

Margaux (2022)

This movie is so silly, and I loved every stupid, ridiculous minute of it. I watched this for a second time today, and I’m pretty sure I liked it even better than I did the first time around.

Since I’m pretty sure I’ll need to spoil a lot of this, I’ll start by saying that I absolutely recommend this movie to anyone who is wary of AI (or smart homes), social media influencers, AirBnBs, and…I don’t know, college undergraduates who all look wayyyy too pretty to be part of a “Nerd Herd”?

May (2003)

It’s the first of May, so of course I had to watch this one. In fact, I waited until today to ever watch this one at all. I’ve known about it for years, and I like Angela Bettis, but somehow I never got around to this one until now. It’s pretty good!

I didn’t realize Jeremy Sisto and Anna Faris were in this one as well! So that was a pleasant surprise. I was surprised at how much I liked Anna Faris as Polly. The whole cast worked really well together, in fact. I was definitely hooked early on.

Men (2022)

What was I thinking this month? Did I pick a bunch of really boring movies, or am I just overly critical and critically bored this month? Either way, this movie isn’t it for me.

Midsommar (2019)

Ok, I’m more torn on this movie than I have been in a while. But here’s the thing…it’s over two hours with just the theatrical cut, and even longer than It: Chapter Two with the director’s cut, and I’ve STILL watched it, by choice, at least three times.

Mimic (1997)

I’m pretty sure I saw this originally in theaters, when I was young enough to be a big horror fan but too young to really have big deep thoughts about movies. And I remember liking it back then! I mean, Mira Sorvino, Giancarlo Giannini, AND Charles S. Dutton? What’s not to like?

Mirrors (2008)

Wow. It’s been a whole year. And what a year it has been.

Mockingbird (2014)

I’m no longer surprised to see just how low the ratings are on IMDb or Rotten Tomatoes for most of the movies I like. Wait, let me clarify…for most of the horror movies I like. Generally my opinions are in line with the majority’s for other genres. Except for Melancholia. That movie is the worst movie I have ever seen, ever, and I’ve seen The Cable Guy. And somehow Melancholia has a 79% on Rotten Tomatoes and 7.1/10 on IMDb.

On Netflix, however, I find that the ratings tend to be a bit more in line with my own. So I was a bit surprised to see that this movie had only one star on Netflix. And, of course, being the person that I am, I had to watch (and write about) it. Because I’d seen it before, and I knew I definitely would have rated it above one star. And watching again has only confirmed that, and maybe confused me. Who can I trust for scary movie recommendations now, if not Netflix?

Mom and Dad (2018)

It’s my mom’s birthday today (happy birthday, Mom!!), so I chose this movie. This is a silly movie, and I liked it.

Monolith (2023)

There was some really interesting potential here, and I think Lily Sullivan did an excellent job, but I wasn’t really feeling this one for most of the film.

Mortuary (1983)

This was a weird little movie that I wasn’t sure about at first, but that won me over in the end. I think I might even recommend it quite broadly!

Mosquito (1994)

I was going to rate this three out of five instead of four out of five, but I’d be lying if I said this movie wasn’t way more entertaining than any of the three-star movies I’ve seen recently. Which isn’t to say it’s a good movie. But it feels like the kind of movie I would write.

Mother's Day (2010)

It’s Mother’s Day in the USA (unintentional rhyme, sorry?), so this is…well, it’s not really “appropriate” but it’s…fitting?

My Best Friend's Exorcism (2022)

This movie is a little difficult to explain. Especially if you haven’t read anything by Grady Hendrix. This is based on the Grady Hendrix novel of the same name, and tries to achieve the same tongue-in-cheek tone his books do.

My Bloody Valentine (2009)

I feel a little guilty rating this one 4 out of 5 because I liked it mostly for how over-the-top ridiculous it was. And it was way over-the-top ridiculous.

My biggest regret is not having gone to see this in 3D when it came out in theaters. I think that experience would’ve had me on the floor laughing. As it is, it’s one of those movies you can tell was made to take advantage of 3D – watching it on a tiny screen (while wearing headphones) without 3D means that some of the climactic scenes don’t really land. I mean, a pickaxe coming towards your face? Scary. A pickaxe moving around the center of your iPad screen? Not so much.

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and since I’d never seen any version of My Bloody Valentine (okay, that’s not quite true – I did see the band in concert once), I figured there was no better way to celebrate than to give it a try. While stuffing myself full of candy, of course.

So how was it? Eh, it was okay. Pretty much your standard 80’s slasher fare. As it turns out, the vague details I knew about the movie going into it (there’s a mine, and a killer in a gas mask) were basically the whole movie.

My Little Eye (2002)

I have told people on more than one occasion that this is my favorite horror movie, so I figured I’d watch it again to see if it holds up. About 15 minutes into this viewing, I remembered that I don’t say it’s my “favorite” movie, I say it’s the “scariest” movie. And that definitely still holds.

I’m a big fan of minimalism in horror movies. I think the scariest things are those that could actually happen, and the fewer special effects a movie uses, the more realistic it seems. This movie takes place in a single location and for most of the film stars just five young adults in an old house surrounded by webcams. And then the deaths start adding up.

My Soul to Take (2010)

I may be biased towards anything Wes Craven, but I liked this movie. It wasn’t quite as haunting as A Nightmare on Elm Street, but it was a relatively original story with a decent cast (Frank Grillo is always awesome…and Max Thieriot delivers the quiet creeper like no one else), and Wes Craven’s direction and use of background music elevate it above the typical teen slasher flick.

Sure, the pacing is weird (and changes halfway through) and the dialogue is only partly believable, but Wes Craven yet again delivers terror just under the surface – the idea that one of your friends could be a murderer unbeknownst to you? The idea that…you could be a murderer unbeknownst to you?

New Year's Evil (1980)

Okay, I know it’s not yet the new year, but it’s the last Throwback Thursday of the year so I felt this was fitting.

Night Life (1989)

This is the first of at least a couple of movies on my list starring Scott Grimes. No real reason, other than I really like Scott Grimes, mostly since watching The Orville, and ESPECIALLY for the absolute best episode of The Orville.

Nine Dead (2010)

Wow. This is a stupid addition to the “let’s play a game” genre. And I mean stupid.

No Vacancy (2012)

This is a silly movie. I remember being excited for it when the trailer came out, back when it was still called The Helpers. Maybe that title seemed too bleak for the movie? No Vacancy is such a boring title, and way too close to Vacancy to be original (and actually, I kind of liked Vacancy, I may need to watch that one next now that I think about it).

Anyway, I spent most of the day at the (first ever!) Silicon Valley Comic Con, so I didn’t want to watch anything that would make me think too much. I rented this on Amazon tonight since I figured it would be some good old-fashioned violence and murder, and I was right. And speaking of not thinking, not only did I not have to think while watching this, but it’s clear none of the characters were thinking throughout, well, most of the movie.

Nope (2022)

Okay, this proves you don’t have to be a short movie for me to like you. Just don’t fill the minutes with drawn-out slow sequences, I guess?

I am kind of glad I waited until now to watch this movie, and also glad that I managed to basically avoid spoilers beforehand?

Oculus (2013)

I’ve watched this movie several times (and a couple this year alone!) but haven’t written about it yet because I haven’t quite figured out what I want to say about it. I like it quite a bit, but it’s hard for me to pinpoint why.

Maybe it’s the cast — Katee Sackhoff and Rory Cochrane are great as Alan and Marie, the parents. Kaylie and Tim were great — both past and present versions were believable and the family chemistry worked wonderfully. And it was kind of neat seeing James Lafferty in this, since I’d only ever seen him in One Tree Hill before.

Open House (2010)

There’s been an “Open House” sign on my street for the past few days so I was inspired to watch this one again. It’s a good one. A bit disturbing, but then again, so am I. Also not unlike me, this movie has a lot going for it.

Have I mentioned I’m a sucker for a good understated title screen? Maybe once or twice? This movie is a perfect example of that. And the movie starts much like its credits – unassuming and quiet. Things start to get creepy pretty quickly, though, and keep building from there. I love that the background music is largely absent, and perfectly timed and placed when it’s not.

Orphan (2009)

My birthday is this Sunday, so I figured I’d spend the week leading up to it watching (and writing about) some of my favorite scary movies. Starting with this one. I’ve watched this several times now, and even knowing what’s going to happen I find myself at the edge of my seat every time.

I love Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgaard, but I was blown away by Isabelle Fuhrman as Esther. In fact, all of the kids in this movie were superbly believable, which just added to the creep factor.

Pandorum (2009)

I’ve seen this movie once or twice before, but oddly can’t remember whether I saw it in theaters or not. I have to imagine that means I did not, in fact, see it in theaters – it seems most likely that I was watching this at home while distracting myself with other things. Because I just did not remember how awesome this movie really is.

Or, I don’t know, maybe it’s the string of pretty good movies I’ve been watching lately that’s been softening me up…maybe it’s because I have a soft spot for Ben Foster (and Dennis Quaid!)…maybe it’s just because this is a really awesome movie.

Paranormal Activity (2007)

I liked this when it first came out. I still like it now, though my opinion is slightly less favorable this time around. Perhaps it’s because there are now so many similar movies it’s hard to keep track.

Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)

If you’ve seen both endings to the original, you’re probably understanding why the theatrical version was, well, the theatrical version. This serves as both a prequel and a sequel to the first and does a pretty good job at both.

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

So far, this is definitely my favorite of the franchise. Maybe it’s because Katie and Kristi are much more likable (or relatable?) as kids.

Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)

This was the first real letdown of the bunch for me. It did have some neat effects – particularly the Kinect tracking dots – but just felt slow and like more of the same.

Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)

I have admittedly little to say about this movie as well. That’s probably no surprise for a standalone “sequel” released 7 years after the previous in the franchise.

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)

This was a pretty good final installment of the franchise. It closed the loop on many of the questions brought up in the earlier films without bringing up too many questions on its own. I feel like I’ve got closure on the story.

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)

I found this one slightly more interesting than last night’s film but not quite as interesting as the first three films. Spoilers ahead.

Parasomnia (2008)

I don’t know how to say this nicely, and I don’t really know why this was my first impression, but this movie had no right to be as good as it was?

Pathology (2008)

This is an interesting one. It’s not for the faint of heart, though. It’s far more disturbing than it is terrifying, though. And you can’t even close your eyes to get away from it, since the group details (excruciating detail in some cases) aloud each cause of death.

But if you can stomach that kind of movie (no pun intended, I swear?), this might keep you entertained for an hour and a half. It’s a little slow to start but it picks up quickly and keeps that pace all the way to the final scene. I guess that’s unsurprising from the writer of Crank (and Crank: High Voltage!), though.

Personal Shopper (2016)

This movie was boring. It had an interesting enough story, but it was SO boring.

Pet (2016)

This movie starts out simple enough: your typical boy meets girl, girl rejects boy, boy kidnaps girl and keeps her in a cage in a basement story.

Pet Sematary (2019)

I’m going to try to avoid the “F” word here, but I liked this one about as much as yesterday’s. It’s about the same length, the same pacing, and (mostly) the same story.

Pet Sematary (1989)

I have to apologize to all of you. It seems my word of the year is “fine”. It’s only March, and I’ve already called 11 movies “fine” this year! Well, let’s make it 12, because…you can probably guess where I’m going here.

Phantoms (1998)

I struggled on rating this one. It’s weird, like two different movies in one. The first hour of this movie is SO SLOW AND BORING, and the last half hour is like rapid-fire screams and thrills.

Phenomena (1985)

I definitely should not have enjoyed this movie as much as I did. It’s a bit longer, and feels that way…it’s not really scary (unless you’re scared of insects in general), and a lot of it is just silly.

Possessor (2020)

I don’t really remember what I thought of this movie when I first saw it, but I remember thinking it was weird, and I definitely still think that. I guess it’s to be expected from a (Brandon) Cronenberg film?

On rewatching it…well, it’s still weird, and I’m still not quite sure what I think about it.

Prince of Darkness (1987)

I really wanted to like this one. I’d never seen it before, but I love John Carpenter and I like a lot of cult-favorite films! But I didn’t really like this one.

Prom Night (1980)

I liked this movie okay, but I have very little to say about it.

Prometheus (2012)

I can’t believe it’s July already. I mean, I can believe it, but I can’t really believe it. I saw this movie in theaters (albeit for a Sunday morning matinee if I recall correctly) a few years back and as I went in with no expectations, so I enjoyed it.

It was nice to see something in the Alien universe (even if only tangentially) and this was definitely better than last night’s contribution. It at least added something new to the universe.

Prowl (2010)

(Spoilers ahead because it’s kind of hard to talk about this one without them) I’d seen this movie before, so I should have remembered how thematically similar it is to last night’s movie. It’s…not quite as good, though.

Pulse (2006)

I love Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It’s one of my favorite comedy films and I’ve seen it a bunch of times. There’s a scene in it where they’re making fun of Kristen Bell’s eponymous character for a terrible horror movie she did about evil cell phones, and I have to imagine this is the movie the writers had in mind for that scene.

And they’re totally right to make fun of it. This movie is pretty ridiculous. But it’s not all bad, and it did keep me reasonably entertained throughout. It’s definitely not Wes Craven’s best film (not even close), and you can tell from the awkward dialogue that the screenplay was his work.

Pumpkinhead (1988)

As far as scary movies go, this one isn’t terrible. It’s got Lance Henriksen and apparently a very young Mayim Bialik.

The story is interesting and Pumpkinhead is pretty scary (despite his kind of silly name).

It just feels slow. I notice I’ve been saying that of a lot of films lately. Maybe 2016 is just dragging on and I’m ready for it to be over.

Rabid (1977)

I actually saw the 2019 remake of this movie (which I’ll be watching tomorrow) before ever seeing this one, and honestly…it’s weirder. Which I think is interesting! The remake somehow out-weirds David Cronenberg!

Ravenous (1999)

This movie kept popping up on Netflix so I figured I’d finally watch it. The cast was definitely appealing – Guy Pearce, Jeffrey Jones, and Robert Carlyle? Yes please!

I’ll admit that for most of this movie, I had no idea where it was going. Normally that wouldn’t be a great thing, but this movie really pulled it off. The story was interesting, and the suspense just kept building and building until it started to get really, really creepy. And then it kept going…

Re-Kill (2015)

I have to give this one some credit for trying something relatively new. This was a zombie movie crossed with reality TV in a pretty silly way. It’s not an entirely bad effect, but it could have been better.

I’m not sure how I feel about the commercial breaks. I felt like the cigarette ads were in poor taste and the “Coalition to Re-populate America” ads were just boring. I don’t think the commercials added anything to the film. However, the brief info spots were well done – more of those and fewer of the commercials would have been ideal.

Ready or Not (2019)

This movie is a lot of fun. Samara Weaving is excellent, and the supporting performances are great. I do love a good Adam Brody scary story.

Red State (2011)

After the disappointment that was Yoga Hosers, I had to go back and see if I still enjoyed this one as much as I remembered from my first watch. Plus it’s been a while since I’ve seen Kyle Gallner in a scary movie. I’m not going to lie though, this one hits a little harder this year than it did in 2011. A lot harder, even.

Rise: Blood Hunter (2007)

Overall, I really like this film. It’s well cast, well acted, and beautifully filmed. It’s not perfect, and it’s not scary, but it is entertaining.

Run Rabbit Run (2024)

Can you tell I’m on a movie name theme? This is the last one for now.

This is such a frustrating movie. By all accounts, it SHOULD be good! There’s some interesting stuff there, and the performances are excellent!

Santa's Slay (2005)

I’ve only gotten about two hours of sleep in the past 36, so I’ll be quick here.

Satanic (2016)

I’m giving this one three out of five, but I think that’s a bit generous. I have a soft spot for Sarah Hyland, what can I say? Who else here watches Modern Family?

Saw (2004)

As promised yesterday, here’s the first of the Summer See Saw Sundays. I like this movie. It basically started an interesting (at least at first) trend in movies, some better than others, and created a new niche in the horror genre.

Saw 3D/The Final Chapter (2010)

Well, we’re finally at the end. I wish I were a little less sleepy tonight because this one actually wasn’t bad.

I felt like the story was a bit truer to the intent of the original movie. I was happy that mostly everyone got what was coming to them. And I was happy to see (spoiler ahead) Dr. Gordon make his appearance.

I’d definitely give this one four out of five stars, and for more than just Sean Patrick Flannery! Oh yeah – he’s in this too.

Saw II (2005)

This one, while also written by Leigh Whannell, just wasn’t quite as good as the first one. It’s more disturbing for the sake of being disturbing, dark for the sake of being dark, and the story just isn’t quite as interesting.

I’ll give it one thing, though – the twist at the very end was pretty good. Not entirely unexpected or unpredictable, but well timed and well placed.

It doesn’t make me hopeful for the next 5 films, though. Well, I guess we’ll see next week!

Saw III (2006)

Okay, now here’s an addition to the franchise I can get behind. This movie was engaging and entertaining and unlike the previous film actually got me excited about watching the next one.

I think perhaps my favorite part of this one (or at least the most well done part) is how, just when you start thinking that they’ve strayed far from the intent and rationale behind the first movie, the twist is revealed and the original meaning restored. It’s epic and quite satisfying.

Saw IV (2007)

This one was okay. I’m glad I’m spacing these out to one a week because I think I’m already burned out on Saw movies.

On the one hand, I feel like this director has finally hit his rhythm with this franchise. There weren’t as many artsy effects or weird close-ups as there have been in the past two films. I’m a little disappointed that this is the last film in the franchise from this director.

Saw V (2008)

Sadly, this was another uninspired entry in this franchise that certainly hasn’t inspired me to write anything.

Oh, but it did have Julie Benz, so there’s that.

Saw VI (2009)

Unsurprisingly, this movie didn’t really add anything to the franchise so (again unsurprisingly) I don’t have much to add about it. It felt like the most unnecessarily gruesome and graphic of the lot so far, though.

On the plus side, there’s only one left! They say all good things must come to an end…hopefully all not-so-good things must come to an end as well.

(Okay, spoilers ahead) Seriously, though, just when I thought that jackass was going to get what was coming to him, it looks like he’ll be back for next week’s finale. Sigh.

Saw X (2023)

Thankfully, any misgivings I originally had about this film were unwarranted. I mostly enjoyed it!

Scar (2007)

I’ve been letting Netflix make many of my movie-watching decisions for me lately, so I decided to give Amazon Prime Instant Video a chance to recommend something good. I’ll admit my expectations were pretty low, as the last time I watched something Amazon recommended to me I couldn’t make it all the way through.

But this one had Angela Bettis in it, so I figured it couldn’t be all bad. And it wasn’t! It had a lot going for it, and it was decently entertaining.

Scary Movie (2000)

Okay, so, fair warning, I’m going to watch all five Scary Movies this week. I figure I did it for Scream, I might as well do it for this. I’ll probably regret it by the end of the week. I might already regret it now.

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

I fear I’m in the minority here, but I like this movie so much better than the first one.

Look, this movie has Natasha Lyonne, Tim Curry, and possibly my favorite Anna Faris scene ever. It branches out from teen slashers to all sorts of horror movies, and many horror movies that I love!

Scary Movie 3 (2003)

I knew the first movie without any of the Wayans brothers was going to be bad, but it was also boring.

Scream (2022)

I first saw this movie on a plane in 2022. It turns out I hadn’t actually seen the previous film before, so there were some references (the lemon squares?) I didn’t catch until this viewing, but otherwise I don’t feel like I missed much. I was under the (mistaken) impression this movie was supposed to be a full reboot anyway, so I wasn’t expecting to need the context when I watched it the first time - and I didn’t, the story made sense to me.

Scream (1996)

I’m so glad this movie turned twenty years old this year, albeit almost at the end.

Scream 2 (1997)

Look, I don’t think anything was ever going to live up to the first movie, not even (especially not?) a sequel as self-aware as this one. And it doesn’t, but it’s fine.

Honestly, as soon as the opening scene started, I remembered most of this movie, which probably didn’t improve this viewing for me. But it’s fine. The movie, I mean. It’s just fine.

Scream 3 (2000)

Oh, did I forget to mention yesterday that I’d be watching all the remaining movies from the Scream franchise this week? Hope you don’t mind!

I’m a little worried I might mind by the end of it…I’m not sure I ever saw this one or Scream 4. Some scenes felt familiar but it could just be because there’s not a whole lot of “new” in this.

Scream 4 (2011)

Well, that’s kind of a bummer…this is the first installment I could barely make it through. And it’s the last film Wes Craven directed. Both the last film in the Scream series directed by him, and the last film he ever directed.

Scream VI (2023)

Okay, I’m glad this is the last Scream movie I have to watch this year. And honestly, I was prepared for this to be way worse than it was. You read about things being “critically panned” and it gets in your head and…yeah.

And yet, once again, this movie was fine.

Session 9 (2001)

This movie has been hyped up quite a bit on various forums and review sites I’ve looked into so I decided to watch it for a second time (the first was many years ago). Unfortunately I think it’s yet another that I liked more the first time I saw it. Maybe that’s just me! Maybe I’m just feeling less generous these days!

Severance (2006)

I wasn’t expecting too much out of this one so it was a pleasant surprise to find that I rather liked it. Sure, it could just be the British accents. I do love a British accent.

But really, this was a horror comedy that did pretty well on both fronts. After a few bad attempts at this genre I’m happy to have found a new one to recommend.

The music is a bit much at times and there are definitely parts that drag on, but for the most part this is a cute, clever little black comedy that I really enjoyed.

Shocker (1989)

I really wanted to like this more than I did. It has Mitch Pileggi! And Peter Berg! And an interesting storyline!

Sick (2022)

I don’t really have too much to say about this one either. It’s another that had a neat concept and could’ve been more interesting than it was, but falters a bit in execution.

Significant Other (2022)

This is a weird little movie, and I know that’s not the first time I’ve said that this year. It was okay? It’s not too long but it’s pretty slow, especially at the beginning.

Silent House (2011)

Okay, if you are into scaring yourself, I strongly recommend watching this movie alone, in the dark, on an otherwise quiet night. If that doesn’t work, well, I guess I’m easier to scare than you are, but it should still make for an enjoyable experience.

Silent Night (2021)

It’s Christmas Eve! I should have picked something a little scarier or a little more relevant, but I started this and was too lazy to swap it out for something else, so we’re all stuck with this.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

It is cold and dry when I’m watching this, and honestly that’s kind of how I feel about this movie? My eyes are tearing up trying to hold on to some moisture but this movie kind of makes me want to cry…from boredom?

Sinister (2012)

The nights are getting longer and it feels like these movies are too.

Okay that’s not really true. I like this movie. It’s got Ethan Hawke. And a very interesting story.

But I can’t say I’ll be sad to see this year end (and maybe cut back to a movie a week instead of a movie day).

I do recommend this one if you’re into scary movies, though.

Sinister 2 (2015)

I liked this one a bit better than the first one. While the events from the first film inform this one, they both tell their own stories and either could stand alone. (Spoilers ahead)

Slayers (2022)

This was okay. It’s a pretty standard horror-comedy film. Well, a pretty standard vampire horror-comedy. It’s funny enough, not all that scary, and not all that original.

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Okay, this is another older scary movie that I can definitely understand gaining a cult following. I’m not quite sure I can fully count myself among them, but I get it.

Slumber (2017)

I guess I’m feeling slightly less impatient this week, since this was kind of a slow-burn movie, but I still enjoyed it.

Smile (2022)

I think how I feel about this movie might actually be a reversal from how I’ve felt about many other movies this month. That is to say, I remember NOT being impressed with this one the first time I watched it, and I have a new appreciation for it this time around.

Snow White: A Tale of Terror (1997)

Oh, hello October! I guess we’re back to movies I remember liking more when they came out?

Something Wicked (2014)

I really liked this movie. If it weren’t for the confusing number of characters and sometimes hard-to-follow storyline, I’d probably have rated it higher.

And let’s be honest…Brittany Murphy as a psychiatrist was a bit of a stretch (and what was with the terrible hairstyle?), though her temper tantrums were definitely believable. I have seen Brittany Murphy in things where she’s absolutely charming but she seemed a bit absent in this one, and I’m not sure it was in anyone’s best interest to release this one posthumously.

Sometimes They Come Back (1991)

I’ve recently been watching The West Wing for the first time ever (I know, I know) so it’s appropriate that I’d watch a movie starring Tim Matheson. He’s much more likable in this as Jim Norman than he is in The West Wing, though, which is probably for the best.

This definitely watches like a Stephen King story, although it’s another I haven’t read. The premise is reasonably interesting but after watching the movie I don’t feel the need to read it also. Which isn’t to say the movie isn’t interesting – it is interesting. And well acted. And, for the most part, with nicely done background music.

Sorority Row (2009)

Okay, I do have some more to say about this one than about yesterday’s. I liked this one better, but not better enough to give it a higher rating. But it has been a while since I’ve watched a scary movie with Julian Morris!

Speak No Evil (2024)

Let me say first off that I know this is an American remake of a Danish film. There’s even a nod to the Danish origins at the very beginning of the film, but I won’t spoil that in case you’re interested in seeing this one.

Spell (2020)

I don’t have too much to say about this movie, but I didn’t like it very much.

Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)

It’s been a while since I’d watched a Saw movie. I was a bit worried - especially since the last one I watched was originally billed as the “final chapter” (though I did like that one).

Anyway, I guess this is technically a standalone story? With Darren Lynn Bousman returning to direct. And I was pleasantly surprised by it.

Splice (2009)

In honor of today’s news that a federal panel has approved the first use of CRISPR genome-editing technology in humans, I chose this movie. It definitely had promise. An intriguing premise, a high quality cast, a writer/director whose previous work I liked. It should have been awesome. Instead it was…weird. Scary, yes, but mostly just weird.

Oh, and with a whole lot of “what did you think was going to happen?” It almost makes me wonder what experiences Vincenzo Natali (who, by the way, wrote and directed Cube as well as this) has had that he chooses such a…distinctive direction to take this movie in.

Splinter (2008)

I liked this one quite a bit. From the beginning (and the “I ♥ bikinis” hat) you know it’s going to be interesting – I couldn’t decide whether or not I liked the effect of jumping between the opening scene and the opening credits, but it was interesting either way. Luckily it stays interesting throughout.

Stage Fright (2014)

I do have more to say about this but I’m still tired so you’ll have to live with brevity yet again.

I like the concept of this one – a horror musical. There are others in this genre that I quite like. But this one somehow tries to be a parody of the genre and an exemplar of the genre and unfortunately it fails at both. The lyrics are largely trite and boring and quite frankly they sound quite amateur and often childish. The melodies are all borrowed from other songs. The killer’s songs were the best of the lot and they weren’t all that great themselves.

Stephanie (2017)

I feel like this movie is a surprising sleeper hit. Maybe it’s because it’s been a few months since I’ve watched anything with Frank Grillo, but I liked this one more than I anticipated.

Stitch (2014)

I didn’t know what to expect from this movie. It started out slow, got a little strange, and then got really weird and religious.

Strange Darling (2024)

This is…really tough to rate. And also really difficult to talk about without spoiling things.

Strangeland (1998)

Ahh, thankfully a much better (if much older) movie with Amy Smart in it! It’s too bad all of her scenes are the ones with the worst “netspeak” and movie computer magic.

Straw Dogs (2011)

Okay, it is true. I definitely liked this more than the original. The story is more tightly told, with the scare factor and tension being built up much earlier and more consistently.

Straw Dogs (1971)

I had a lot of problems with this movie. I thought the acting was great, but the pacing was off and parts of the story didn’t sit right with me, either.

Subservience (2024)

Yes, yes, this is another “wary of AI” movie like last night’s. And of course, especially given that it stars Megan Fox, this one has been called a sexy rehash of M3GAN (and it’s also just been called “M3gan Fox”, I guess).

Sunshine (2007)

This might be my absolute favorite Alex Garland work. He wrote it, and Danny Boyle (28 Days Later) directed it, and it’s very good.

Suspiria (2018)

Okay, for all my prior complaints about long movies? THIS movie is long. THIS movie is the longest movie I have watched for this site (it beats the next longest, The Shining, by 8 minutes). THIS movie is OVER TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG.

Suspiria (1977)

This movie was fine. I know it’s a classic and I know people like it, and it’s made a major cultural impact. I thought it was fine.

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

I know this isn’t a good movie, but I think I’m feeling particularly nostalgic this week. And Tales from the Crypt is definitely hugely nostalgic for me.

Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)

I don’t really have much to say about this one. I liked it for the most part. It’s an anthology of three stories (plus a wrapper story) and they’re all pretty entertaining.

Tales from the Hood (1995)

I had fun with this one! Despite, or perhaps because of, how awfully relevant each of these stories still feels today.

Tales of Halloween (2015)

Normally I have trouble rating anthology films. Often the segments vary in quality, tone, or entertainment value. I had no trouble rating this one, though. Five out of five, no question. Well, some questions.

Talk to Me (2023)

This was one of those movies that was WAY hyped up when it came out. Critics loved it, people loved it, there was immediate sequel talk, etc etc etc…

And having finally watched it, I think it’s worth all the hype. This was a great movie!

Terror Train (1980)

This isn’t the first (or even the second) horror movie I’ve watched that takes place on a train, but it might be the most fun. Despite the standard “mean prank gone horribly wrong” revenge trope, this movie is campy 80s horror fun, Jamie Lee Curtis included.

This movie was so fun that despite all the murder, I still kind of want to go on a train party? A party train? Conceptually, trains are such a neat setting for stories. Trains running in endless loops around the world. Trains stopped in the middle of the woods late at night. Trains where everyone conspires to murder a passenger and cover it up. Trains where Keanu Reeves is taller! There’s something about the limited escape options – and generally limited intruder options – that gives trains their own personality and ambience as a setting.

Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

I really liked this addition to the franchise. I liked that it serves as a sequel (in fact, it starts directly after the events of the original) while also providing some interesting and relevant background to the original.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

It seems a lot of people didn’t like this movie, but it’s under an hour and a half, well-paced and well-acted, and has action pretty much from the start.

Thanksgiving (2023)

I usually like Eli Roth. Maybe this one was just longer and slower than I’d have liked. Maybe it was overhyped a bit too much when it was first released. Maybe I’m just in a bad mood and nothing was going to entertain me today. But I wanted to like this one more than I did.

The Amityville Horror (2005)

I liked this movie about as much as I liked the original. Which is to say, I liked it okay.

I forgot that this was another Michael Bay remake until the Platinum Dunes opening logo popped up. And in fact I almost forgot again while I was watching the film, which says something. Right up until the sex scene, which had Michael Bay written all over it.

Aside from that, it’s quite tame compared to some of his other remakes. It stays mostly true to the original film (based on the book, based on the questionably true story) except for a few minor details.

The Amityville Horror (1979)

(Spoilers ahead) We’re in the last month of the year, so I feel it’s time to admit something: I’m a sucker for a happy ending.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

This is one of those films with a trailer that gives you incredibly high expectations that will probably be dashed when you finally see the movie.

The Aviary (2022)

Wow, I like this movie a surprising amount. I definitely remember liking it on my first watch, and even rewatching it at 1.75x speed this time, I was thinking WOW. So much yet so little happens. So many questions are posed and rarely answered.

The Babadook (2014)

The Babadook was all I heard about in horror movies for months last year, and worried it wouldn’t live up to its hype, I decided not to watch it until that hype had died down somewhat.

Well, I finally watched it! And I was pleasantly surprised to find that the movie started out strong and stayed strong throughout.

The Believers (1987)

Maybe it’s just Martin Sheen’s soothing voice hypnotizing me into acquiescence, but I liked this movie. I’ve been watching The West Wing for the first time recently – I know, I know, late to the party – so when I saw that Martin Sheen was in a horror movie (that was available on Amazon Video!) I had to watch it.

The Black Phone (2022)

I guess my streak of liking movies more the second time around has ended? I still liked this one, but I think I found it scarier and more impressive the first time I watched it.

The Blackcoat's Daughter (2017)

Ok, so this isn’t technically a “Christmas” movie. And I think most of it takes place in February (an alternative title for the film, actually). But it feels quite…Christmas-y. Or at least wintery.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

I first saw this in theaters with my mom, and I admit the fourth star in my rating might be more for nostalgia than the film itself. I also admit that having seen this film multiple times, and seeing the actors in other things since, I have also lost some of the initial charm and mystery as I write this.

The Breed (2006)

I know I have already said a few times not to watch things if you’re a dog lover…well, this is like the epitome of movies not to watch if you’re a dog lover.

The Butterfly Effect (2004)

There’s a lot I like about this movie. It’s got Amy Smart and Ethan Suplee, for one (or two). And Ashton Kutcher is actually pretty good in it as well. Oh! And I’d forgotten Cameron Bright is in this – a small but important role he plays adeptly.

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

I know The Cabin in the Woods isn’t really a “scary movie” in the strictest sense, but it is definitely worthwhile and entertaining for any fan of horror films. I was hoping it might be worthwhile and entertaining for any fan of Joss Whedon who might not be a fan of horror films, so I could start the slow, subtle process of turning my “not a horror fan” boyfriend into…well, at least into my “not not a horror fan” boyfriend.

Did it work? You’re damn right it did. The movie is well paced, the cast has incredible chemistry (and some big names!), and the dialogue is on-point and Whedon witty. Sure, there’s lots of blood and gore, but because the movie isn’t trying to scare you, it’s well-placed and fits in without being too disturbing.

The Children (2008)

Wow, it’s been almost another full year. Just this movie and tomorrow’s, and then it’s 2025! I’m glad I mostly liked this movie, and we’ll see how tomorrow’s goes…

The Cleaning Lady (2018)

This movie is…a lot. I guess it makes it pretty clear from the first scene that it’s going to be a lot, but somehow it still left me kind of…I don’t even know, it’s just a LOT.

The Collection (2012)

Interestingly I have less to say about this one than about last night’s movie. It’s definitely the one with the higher budget and a more familiar cast, and while it doesn’t have quite the same feel to it, it’s an entertaining watch nonetheless. Oh, it turns out I really like Josh Stewart (Arkin). He was pretty badass in this one, and I was glad to see him back.

I’m a little confused about some parts of the story – wasn’t she Arkin’s ex-wife in the first movie? Why all the character development for Elena? That seemed out of place for this kind of movie, but it worked in this one. Maybe they were trying to justify Lucello’s existence (you know, aside from as a plot device)? That slow reveal about what happened when Elena was younger was a bit distracting and unnecessary, though.

The Collector (2009)

I’m not quite as sleepy today, but I am hoping to get to bed early, so I’ll be brief here. I like this one. It’s got a mostly unfamiliar cast – well, except for Madeline Zima (you know, the little girl Grace from The Nanny) – that’s pretty good, a decent soundtrack, and an interesting story. It’s even paced pretty well.

The Conjuring (2013)

I’d been putting off reviewing this one (and finally watching its sequel) because I had vague memories of not being all that impressed the first time I saw it. I think maybe I was just distracted the first time because it definitely impressed me tonight.

The Conjuring 2 (2016)

I liked this one. Fans of the first one in general should like this one. The truth is, this basically is the first one – but set in London with a different family and a different demonic presence.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)

I don’t think I’ve actually watched any of the original Conjuring films since 2016, so maybe I was just too far from the franchise (and too disappointed by the Nun entries?) to enjoy this one as much as I could have. Also a bit too impatient, despite this one being the shortest of the three (though it’s only a minute shorter than the first).

The Craft (1996)

Okay, let me preface everything else I might say here with the fact that I am absolutely biased when it comes to this movie. I can’t tell you how excited I was when I realized I could use it for a Throwback Thursday review this year.

I can’t believe this movie was released twenty years (and two days) ago. I mean, I guess I can believe it. Middle school does feel like twenty years ago (yes, I’ve just dated myself). This movie was a sleepover staple for me and my three friends. We argued over who was whom in the group, because of course we all wanted to be Sarah (no, Sara, you don’t get to be her just because you have the same name).

The Damned (2014)

It must be a long week. And it’s only Tuesday. I’ve got another early morning tomorrow and haven’t been sleeping well. Maybe all the scary movies are catching up to me and keeping me up at night.

Anyhow, you know this has to be good if there are subtitles for a not insignificant portion of this movie and I still highly recommend it. Actually, all those years of Spanish I took in high school were helpful for this one. I mostly understood what was being said without reading the subtitles.

The Dead Don't Die (2019)

I heard a lot about this movie while it was in production and as it was released, but I only just got around to watching it. I really wanted to like it! It’s got a lot of familiar faces! And yet…

The Deaths of Ian Stone (2007)

I like this one. I think there are a lot of underrated good ones in the 8 Films to Die For collections, and this is definitely one of them.

The Den (2013)

I haven’t been sleeping well this week…and watching this movie tonight will definitely not help with that. Aside from some computer movie magic, there’s nothing in this film that couldn’t happen, and those stories are always the scariest.

Likely because it’s pretty scary, I liked this movie. It’s paced weirdly so there are parts that drag on but overall this is an above average scary movie. The story is interesting, the actors are believable, and there’s no need for fancy special effects or impressive background music so it’s really just the audience and the increasingly scary stuff happening on screen.

The Descent (2005)

Previously I mentioned that watching Indigenous made me want to watch The Descent again, so that’s exactly what I did tonight. And yep – it’s still a better monster movie than Indigenous. And probably not just because I didn’t need subtitles for it.

The character development in this movie is so strong that I found myself relating to characters who aren’t anything like me. For one thing, I almost certainly wouldn’t wake up at 7am to go rock climbing, even in creepy old caves like the ones in the movie.

The Descent: Part 2 (2009)

Oh. So this is why they had to cut the ending when they did. So they could make a sequel. I have to admit that I didn’t realize they had released a sequel, despite (or possibly because of?) how much I loved the first film. It felt complete to me, so I never saw any need for a sequel. But I guess it makes sense. Why not try to capitalize on your success?

Of course, from what I can tell, this was ultimately a direct-to-video release, so I guess they didn’t do such a great job capitalizing on it. But it wasn’t all bad. It wasn’t anywhere near as intensely scary and engrossing as the first one, but it was entertaining throughout. And much bloodier (if you can believe that), so if you’re into that kind of thing…

The Disappointments Room (2016)

The Disappointments Room? More like the disappointments movie, am I right? Okay, okay, it wasn’t that bad, but I wouldn’t say it was all that great either.

The Exorcist (1973)

I’ve been hearing a lot about the new series lately so I figured it was a good time to watch this one. I’ll admit I haven’t yet watched the TV series, but I’ve heard good things about it.

The Faculty (1998)

Okay, yeah, I’m so glad I moved things around to watch this tonight after watching Trap last night. Good decision all around. It’s been too long since I’ve seen this movie, and I forgot how much I enjoyed it.

The Final Destination (2009)

So I suppose this is the Fast and the Furious of the Final Destination franchise. Or, I’m sorry, it’s probably The Fast and the Furious since it’s The Final Destination.

What does that mean anyway? That they thought it really would be the last in the franchise but then decided they couldn’t resist making just one more?

Anyhow, I will say one thing for this franchise – it knows how to entertain. And it has Tony Todd. So I guess that’s two things.

The First Purge (2018)

Well, it’s usually not a great sign when I only realize halfway through a movie that I’ve seen it before. Especially one with Marisa Tomei!

The Fog (1980)

So I apparently made a mistake watching the remake of this one before watching this one. More on that remake tomorrow, but basically I found it so boring that I never bothered to watch the original. I guess I figured there was no way that a movie from 1980 was going to be that much better than its remake.

I should have given John Carpenter the benefit of the doubt, of course. This one was pretty good. Not like The Thing good, but good. And while I think the remake suffers from taking itself too seriously, this one doesn’t have the same problem. John Carpenter knows exactly how seriously to take his movies, but no further.

The Frighteners (1996)

I was disappointed with this one. I blame myself on that front, because I went into this with my expectations way too high.

I never saw this until tonight. I remember really really wanting to see it when it came out just over twenty years ago but for one reason or another it never happened. So I was excited about getting to watch it for this blog, and even more excited when I realized it would fit into a Throwback Thursday review quite nicely (after July 18, of course).

The Gallows (2015)

This movie was mostly okay, but I have never wanted a “protagonist” to die as much as Ryan. Seriously. From the start, I wanted to rip the camera out of his hands and give it to anyone else. His “colorful” commentary and stereotypical bullying made him one of the most unsympathetic characters I’ve ever seen.

The rest of the relatively unknown actors in the cast were okay. They worked well together and the dialogue was mostly believable. And there are definitely some creepy moments to the film.

The Girl in the Photographs (2015)

I’d been avoiding this movie on Netflix for some reason. I think it was because of Kal Penn. Don’t get me wrong, I like Kal Penn…I just couldn’t really picture him in any serious horror movie.

The Good Neighbor (2016)

I’m still pretty tired, and there’s a lot to process after watching this movie, so this will likely also be brief.

The Good Son (1993)

I feel like it’s been a while since I’ve given a truly nostalgia-driven rating, but this might be it. I remember watching (and rewatching) this movie around when it came out, and being creeped out by Macaulay Culkin back then.

The Gravedancers (2006)

I watched this movie because until I watched Tales of Halloween I’d never seen anything by Mike Mendez, and since I liked Tales so much I figured I’d have to like his other works at least a little (right?). Luckily I wasn’t wrong!

The Green Inferno (2013)

I like Eli Roth. He’s got a good eye for what scares people, even if I think he sometimes veers a bit too much in the direction of shock value over terror.

And this one definitely sits over on the shock value side. Which isn’t to say the premise itself isn’t terrifying, because it is. The idea that you could fly to a foreign country to do what you think is a good deed, only to be mistaken for the enemy by the very natives you were trying to protect…that’s pretty dark and disturbing on its own.

The Grudge (2019)

Okay, I think this might be my favorite of the American Grudge films. A lot of the problems I had with the previous films were mostly gone or otherwise solved in this one, and I found it genuinely entertaining.

The Grudge 3 (2009)

So I said yesterday that I didn’t really understand how the curse had moved…well, this whole movie is a whole bunch of WTF and confusion about the grudge.

The Hamiltons (2006)

About thirty minutes into this film, I was convinced it was going to be the first movie to only rate 1 out of 5. It was bad enough that I almost stopped watching completely. But I figured I’d need to suffer through a few awful films throughout the year, and this might as well be the first.

Well, while I’m not glad I decided to finish this movie, it did get somewhat better near the end. Watchable, at least. Enough to rate at 2 out of 5 overall.

The Happening (2008)

This is a bad movie. Just…epically bad. Well, not epically bad (I did give it two stars, after all), more like run-of-the-mill bad, but bad nonetheless. It might be my least favorite M. Night Shyamalan film?

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Okay, well, it goes. I liked this one about as much as the original, even though it was not insignificantly longer.

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

I must be getting to the part of the year where I’m tired and I don’t have much to say. I still don’t have much to say about this one.

The Hills Run Red (2009)

This movie was just okay. I just saw William Sadler in something else (don’t remember what offhand) and when I saw that he was in this, I figured I’d give it a try. In fact, I hadn’t even heard of this movie until yesterday. I think I was looking around IMDb at other movies and this popped up under one of those “you might also enjoy” headers.

And I guess I enjoyed it. I mean, it was passably entertaining. And reasonably scary. Babyface is a scary killer and some of the torture scenes were definitely terrifying. And the plot was pretty interesting, though I can’t really call it an original.

The Hitcher (2007)

I mentioned yesterday that I saw this version first and liked it. And it’s true – while I didn’t really like Michael Bay’s remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street, I did like this one. In fact, aside from seeing his name in the opening credits, there was only one point during this remake where I even remembered that it was a Michael Bay movie (the car crash scene, specifically).

I didn’t realize this until seeing the original, but there were some interesting choices made for this film that I kind of liked. For one thing, it’s clear early on that the gender balance is better in this version – I don’t know if they realized that Sophia Bush would sell better than Zachary Knighton (whose real name I never remember but I just finished watching all of Happy Endings again so I couldn’t help but think of him as Dave Rose) or what, but the character in this one gets an upgrade to girlfriend and road trip companion.

The Hitcher (1986)

I saw Michael Bay’s remake of this movie a while back (more on that one tomorrow) and didn’t even realize it was a remake until recently so I figured I’d give the original a try. With C. Thomas Howell (as Jim) and Rutger Hauer (as the hitcher) I figured it couldn’t be all bad. And it wasn’t!

There were some interesting choices made in the remake that make more sense now that I’ve seen both films, but I really like both of them. I think I like them in slightly different ways, though. In this one, it’s because Rutger Hauer is a total creeper and C. Thomas Howell is so believably distraught that the whole movie was really compelling.

The Hole (2001)

Ah, Desmond Harrington. I like him. This certainly doesn’t depict his best side (well, not for most of the film anyway), but he’s good in it just the same. Add in Thora Birch with a weird British accent and Keira Knightley to round out a beautiful cast (oh wait, and Embeth Davidtz!) and, well, you’ve got yourself The Hole.

The House of the Devil (2009)

I like this one quite a bit, though I have very little to say about it.

The House on Sorority Row (1983)

This movie was okay. It’s a pretty standard slasher film from the 1980s.

The House That Jack Built (2018)

Okay, I’m not at all sure why I put this on my calendar. It’s a two and a half hour film by Lars Von Trier, who also made Melancholia, the worst movie I have ever seen (which is saying something, especially for a film with Kirsten Dunst AND Kiefer Sutherland).

The Invisible Man (2020)

Okay, this is a longer movie that feels long, and definitely has its parts that drag on…but Elisabeth Moss is just SO GOOD that it’s hard to give this one anything under four stars. Plus it was directed by Leigh Whannell of Insidious and Saw fame!

The Last Horror Movie (2004)

I don’t remember how or where I heard about this movie, but I did. A few IMDB reviews relate it to American Psycho - one even calling it the BETTER American Psycho! I wouldn’t go that far, but I can understand the comparison. And also I’m adding American Psycho to the calendar…

The Last House on the Left (2009)

I’m really tired today, so I’m happy to say that this one is mostly an improvement on the original. I’ll keep this short.

This version focuses more on the story and on character development than on exploitation. There are still some disturbing scenes, but this one has an R rating, so it’s not nearly as graphic.

The Last House on the Left (1972)

This movie is hard to watch. Not in the normal, almost tongue-in-cheek way I usually say it. There’s nothing wrong with this movie, but the things it depicts…well, there’s a lot wrong there. There’s no need for fancy special effects here, and while there’s not a whole lot of gore, there are several graphic, disturbing scenes.

For a directorial debut, this was quite a statement. If Wes Craven was here for anything, it was to scare as many people as possible.

The Levenger Tapes (2013)

This movie had an interesting story, an overused implementation, and a weirdly uneven and often slow pace. It has its scary moments but for the most part it’s just boring.

The Lodge (2020)

For better or worse (mostly better, I think), it’s been a while since I’ve watched an endlessly dark and bleak film. This movie ends that streak with a bang (umm… apologizes in spoiler).

The Long Night (2022)

I was hoping I’d like this one a bit more than I actually did. It’s a high three stars, but just not quite four stars.

The Lost Boys (1987)

This is one of those movies that has had a lasting impact on me. The more I think about it, I realize it’s informed a bunch of aspects of my life: my brief obsession with Kiefer Sutherland that led me to write a fan letter to him describing the dream I had in which he was my father (to which I received no response, of course)…my love for cover songs (and Echo and the Bunnymen)…my affinity for scary movies and vampire novels.

I hadn’t watched this in a couple years, but the sense of nostalgia and whimsy I felt watching it tonight was awesome. Almost 30 years since it came out, this is still one of the best vampire movies I’ve ever seen and absolutely one of my favorite movies.

The Loved Ones (2009)

Today being the birthday of one of my favorite people, I decided this movie would be a good choice. Note that the honor is in the title only and not the content. And perhaps also in how much I liked this movie. Because I like it quite a bit.

The Menu (2022)

I have honestly been procrastinating writing about this movie for SO LONG. I love it. I have watched it SO MANY TIMES. I have tried to convince all of my friends and family to watch it. Sometimes I put it on to fall asleep to. But I’ve been struggling to really put into words WHY I love it so much.

So of course I watched it again. And I’m still not sure what to say. Honestly? What I say about this most often is “I love this horror movie. It’s hilarious.”

The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

I’ve always liked this movie. I’m actually surprised I didn’t review it in 2016, since it’s been around for years! I think I actually read the short story, probably when I was much younger and into splatterpunk? But this movie is fun. And gory. Very gory. Like, take as much gore as you would expect from a horror movie and then add some.

The Mist (2007)

Here’s another Stephen King work that I’ve read and liked. I originally read this one before seeing the movie and was expecting to be disappointed by the adaptation. That wasn’t the case, though! While I probably would have done some things differently, for the most part I really liked the choices that the filmmaker (and screenwriter!) made here.

There are a few points that drag on a bit but for the most part this movie is well paced and wonderfully suspenseful. The creatures are terrifying and the humans often even more so. And I love how well the background music works, especially during the climactic scenes.

The Monster (2016)

I know I said I was going to watch another “intruder(s)” movie, but when I saw this was available on Amazon I couldn’t resist. I think Zoe Kazan is adorable and I like this director, so I had high hopes for this film.

And Zoe Kazan doesn’t disappoint. Her performance as the mother was compelling and believable, and the tension between mother and daughter as palpable as their fear of the titular monster. And the girl’s performance was also awesome.

The Neon Demon (2016)

I’m not sure where I heard about this movie originally, but IMDb had it listed under the Horror and Thriller genres and the cast looked interesting so I figured I’d give it a try. I almost regret it. Not quite, but almost.

This movie is definitely weird, but not the kind of weird that I usually like. It’s hard to even tell it’s a horror movie until the last twenty minutes or so, and it definitely doesn’t feel like a thriller at any point.

The Night House (2021)

First, I want to make a (much smaller) content warning about discussions of suicide in this movie.

The Number 23 (2007)

It’s almost like I can’t get enough of Joel Schumacher or something!

Sadly I don’t have too much to say about this one. It had an okay concept but the cast was weird and the group chemistry was off.

On the other hand, I really liked the soundtrack. And Lynn Collins as a (suicide) blonde.

The Nun (2018)

I’m always so sad when a movie with a bunch of people I like is awful. (I mean, Dead Awake was obviously the WORST example of this, and this wasn’t THAT bad, at least?)

The Nun II (2023)

Okay, I did like this better than the first one. Not by much, but by enough to earn it an extra star.

The Ones Below (2016)

Well, this was a movie. I don’t want the hour and a half of my life spent watching this back, but I also don’t feel like I gained anything during that time.

Essentially this movie set up an obvious, predictable situation…and then followed through with it. It’s apparently hailed as a “suspenseful” movie but for me the only suspense was when the movie was going to end.

The Other Side of the Door (2016)

I don’t have too much to say about this one, but I did like it. I mean, it is about family and love and loss, after all.

The Pact (2012)

Watching this movie tonight, I realized I’d never seen it before. Which wouldn’t be worth noting except that I’d watched its sequel last year because I thought I’d already seen this one. I probably should have realized this when I didn’t recognize any of the characters or context from the original in the sequel, but nope. It took watching this in its entirety to realize I’d never watched it before.

The People Under the Stairs (1991)

After watching this for the first time tonight, I’m wondering how had I not seen this before tonight? It must be the end of the year, because I’m pretty sure I’ve used that joke before.

The Perfect Host (2010)

After a few not so great movies, I wanted something I knew I’d like. This was a good choice. While it’s not the most terrifying movie I’ve ever seen, it’s well made and really interesting. Definitely a step above the last few movies I’ve watched.

Besides, it’s got David Hyde Pierce. Okay, that’s an understatement. It stars David Hyde Pierce, and he’s great in it. The rest of the cast was unfamiliar to me, but they all did pretty well.

The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018)

Okay, so this movie reminds me a LOT of The Autopsy of Jane Doe. Like, a LOT. But I really like that movie, so I wasn’t so mad about it.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)

Ugh, really, this is just a mostly bad month for me. You would think it would be easier to get through a movie that’s less than an hour and a half long, and yet…

The Prophecy (1995)

This was a weird movie. I kind of get where they were going with the story, but it didn’t quite land for me.

I think Christopher Walken is not so much terrifying as he is intimidating. He intimidated the crap out of me in this movie, but I was never really scared. Maybe it’s the accent. I just don’t buy that the archangel Gabriel would be Christopher Walken. Clearly it was my inability to suspend my disbelief for the movie that ruined it for me.

The Purge (2013)

I always liked this one. It’s not perfect, but it’s got a great cast, an interesting premise, and some tense moments.

The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

So, while the first one was more about family and survival (no surprise I liked it then, eh?), this one was definitely more about the Purge. Oh, and Frank Grillo. It was also about Frank Grillo.

And I liked it! Unlike some other sequels, I felt this one actually added to the story. The Purge is an interesting concept and it’s sort of glossed over in the first film. You get enough context to feel like you understand the universe but not quite enough context to feel like all your questions have been answered.

The Purge: Election Year (2016)

So I saw this one tonight and it was kind of a let down. Not a huge let down, but kind of a let down. It did have Frank Grillo again though, and he was pretty badass. So was Edwin Hodge, for that matter.

The Rental (2020)

I watched this because it had a title that kind of fit into a theme with yesterday’s movie…but I’m thinking this movie actually has more in common with The Open House, and not in a great way?

The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1995)

Wow, this was a pretty bad movie. It had enough scares and plot and silly moments to earn it two stars, but definitely no more.

The Ruins (2008)

I don’t have too much to say about this one. It was mostly okay. Nothing really special.

The cast was pretty good – I like Jena Malone and Shawn Ashmore, and I’m pretty sure I like Jonathan Tucker. I thought that Joe Anderson’s fake German accent was a bit much, though. They couldn’t have found an actual German actor to play Mathias?

The Shining (1980)

Here’s another Stephen King work I haven’t yet read. I should probably get around to it, because a sequel was released a couple years back that’s apparently pretty good. Speaking of which, I should probably also get around to reading the Dark Tower series, what with the film version being talked about now…

Anyhow, if Stephen King plus Stanley Kubrick seems like a win to you, you’re right. And I can’t imagine anyone better than Jack Nicholson to help them out. I mean, even if you’ve never seen this movie, you know Jack Nicholson’s face and his timelessly creepy “Here’s Johnny!” And Jack Nicholson isn’t the only cast member who delivers a stellar performance. Everyone in this movie is spectacular, including little Danny.

The Strangers (2008)

Generally, I really liked this one. I remember it being one of the first in a long time to really get to me. And I love Scott Speedman (I have a special place in my heart for Felicity right next to all this blood and gore).

That said, it isn’t without some issues.

The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)

So, I guess June was my bad month, and August so far is my “thought I liked it better the first time” month. This was just okay. I need to find a good, genuine scary movie to watch soon. This was not that movie.

The Strays (2023)

This is a TENSE movie. It’s slower than I normally prefer, but it works here - because a lot of the tension is internal, the slow build and slow unraveling of everyone involved fits with the storytelling and doesn’t feel too drawn out.

The Stuff (1985)

Well, HERE is a silly B Movie I can get behind. Seriously, I knew I was going to like this from minute one.

The Substance (2024)

This has to have been one of THE most hyped movies from this year, especially from my real-life circle of friends and family, so I was hesitant to watch it. I’d also tried not to spoil too much for myself before seeing it, which was difficult because there were so many “ending explained” or other spoiler-filled reviews popping up immediately after its release. But I think I mostly succeeded and finally sat down to watch this. And I’m going to try not to spoil much for you in this review.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

I don’t have too much to say about this one either. I like Tobe Hooper, and this is definitely the film that put him in the spotlight, but it’s also definitely not his best film.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Here’s a Michael Bay remake I can get behind. Sure, that’s mostly because I wouldn’t have realized Michael Bay had anything to do with this if I hadn’t looked it up, but still.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

I can kind of understand why I decided to skip this movie in 2016, but it wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. No, I didn’t like R. Lee Ermey’s character any more in this one, and no, I don’t feel like this really added anything to the story.

The Thing (2011)

Before you ask: yes, I know this is technically a prequel rather than a 30-years-later remake, and I know that the original I’m referring to is technically a thirty-years-later remake of a Howard Hawks film.

That said, it’s a pretty damn good homage to an incredibly damn good film. I just wish it weren’t trying so hard to show off that it had three times the budget and thirty years of special effects advancement behind it.

The Thing (1982)

The Thing is one of the first scary movies I remember watching with my mom when I was younger (I’m pretty sure it’s mostly her fault that I love scary movies as much as I do), and I’m happy to report that 30-some years later, it’s still a great movie.

Sure, the special effects aren’t always believable and the technology is a bit outdated, but The Thing is a shining example of what the right cast can do in the hands of an amazing director like John Carpenter.

The Unseen (1980)

This movie was…not what I expected. And not in a great way. More in a “WTF did I just watch” kind of way.

Also, I feel kind of weird writing too much about it myself. If you’re interested, I suggest reading the plot summary on Wikipedia instead of watching the film?

The Voices (2014)

Okay, so I didn’t actually go to a movie theater today. 10 Cloverfield Lane will have to wait for some other time (possibly after it’s been released on Amazon Video or Netflix). Instead I decided to watch this movie for a second time, because I’m not sure I gave it my all the first time I watched it. To be fair, I was on an airplane at the time, so I’m not sure I would have been able to give any movie my all, but still.

I liked it the first time, but I thought there might be pieces I’d missed. Watching it this time one thing stood out that I didn’t think about the first time: this movie is really terrifying. Not in the typical slasher film manner, though. This one is terrifying because you’re right there with the killer the entire time, seeing the world as he sees it, and you **still **don’t know what he’s going to do next.

The Ward (2010)

This wasn’t what I’d consider John Carpenter’s best work, but it was pretty good. Carpenter knows how to scare without being overly gruesome or graphic, and this mostly works here. There’s a definite creep factor throughout the film, and the 1960s setting, from the outfits the girls wear to the medical treatments being used, serves to amplify this.

Plus the cast is good. Like, really good. I know I’ve mentioned I like Amber Heard before, and she was great as Kristen. The rest of the girls were also great – I’ve recently learned I like Danielle Panabaker a lot. And all of the medical staff were expertly creepy.

The Wicker Man (1973)

Am I a bad horror movie fan? I thought this was just okay. On thinking a bit, I guess the remake was one of the earlier/earliest Hollywood horror remakes, so there were probably more critical eyes on it than for some of the later ones? But honestly, I liked them both about the same.

The Wicker Tree (2011)

Here’s a sequel I don’t think needed to be made, at all. It was so boring! I didn’t care about any of the characters, except MAYBE Peter McNeil and his raven.

The Witch (2015)

I was excited to see this one finally available on Amazon Prime Video, but a little disappointed now that I’ve actually seen it.

The hype was definitely better than the movie on this one.

The Woman (2011)

Wow. I liked this movie way more than I anticipated. I watched it in broad daylight and it was still absolutely terrifying.

The Woods (2006)

I mentioned in my post about May that I realized Lucky McKee was the director for this movie as well and that I was thinking of watching it again soon, so here it is. I vaguely remember watching this movie years ago, but there were a lot of details about the movie I didn’t remember.

Like Bruce Campbell! He doesn’t play a small part either, so I’m surprised I didn’t remember until the opening credits. He was pretty good in this movie, though he didn’t get much of a chance to show off. I did remember Patricia Clarkson and Agnes Bruckner, who were also great as Mrs. Traverse and Heather, respectively. Rachel Nichols was another familiar face, and she did just fine as Samantha.

They Live (1988)

I decided to watch this one tonight because…well, because it seemed fitting.

Thinner (1996)

I really like this movie. I also really like this book. This is probably my favorite film adaptation of a Stephen King story (though it may be tied with The Shawshank Redemption). It’s definitely one of my favorite Stephen King novels, and I think one of the first of his books that I’ve read.

Torment (2013)

It’s been a long day and I’ve got an early morning so I don’t have much to say tonight. I love Katharine Isabelle and she’s in this movie, so I like this movie a lot. It’s ostensibly about family, but really it’s about, well, torment. It gets a bit graphic and disturbing at times. The story is reasonably interesting and the ending satisfying.

Totally Killer (2023)

YES, finally, a recent horror-comedy that’s both horror AND comedy. And, y’know, about love and loss and family, so…I really liked it. Plus it has more Lochlyn Munro AND Julie Bowen AND Kiernan Shipka, all of whom I really like.

Train (2008)

Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood today, but this did not hold my attention at all. The acting was fine, the background music wasn’t bad, and there was lots of blood and gore, but…I found myself bored through most of the movie.

I like Thora Birch usually. The Hole was a great movie because of her (and despite her terrible British accent). But as a member of an internationally recognized wrestling team? I just don’t buy it. At least they didn’t have Gloria Vostis make highly suspect small talk about her wrestling matches – I think that would have taken me out of the movie completely.

Triangle (2009)

This movie had an okay premise, an okay cast, and okay pacing. Overall? It was okay.

Trick 'r Treat (2007)

I like this movie. It’s another Halloween anthology film, though all four (well, technically five) of the stories are by the same writer and director (Mike Dougherty) in this one. Four stories are called out but Leslie Bibb and Tahmoh Penikett star in the fifth story that’s effectively a prologue (…epilogue).

Turistas (2006)

I was considering going with something holiday appropriate like The Stepfather but it was hot and I was lazy, so I ended up watching this movie instead. It’s pretty boring, which is a shame because it has such an interesting cast. I guess the cast themselves were fine – everyone was believable and earnest. I even believed that Olivia Wilde and Josh Duhamel could be brother and sister! Too bad this movie was so boring I don’t remember their character names. I think Duhamel’s character was named Alex?

I definitely don’t remember the name of Melissa George’s character, but her halting understanding of Portuguese was really well acted and (spoiler alert) is likely the reason any of them get out alive. But there’s not really a lesson here. No justice is really served for either side at the end of this as far as I can tell.

Tusk (2014)

Having seen all of Degrassi: The Next Generation, I had a pretty good idea of what Kevin Smith thinks about Canada going into this. And yep, that’s essentially what this movie is about: what Kevin Smith thinks about Canada.

Uncle Sam (1996)

Happy 4th of July! Here’s a VERY silly on-theme movie for you.

Unfriended (2014)

I think this was one of the first movies to be told entirely through computer screens and instant messaging and video chat. Conceptually, that’s really neat! I love that filmmakers are using technologies to their advantage to tell new stories and new kinds of stories!

But this one fell pretty flat for me, on a number of levels.

Unfriended: Dark Web (2018)

This was a better movie than the original Unfriended, and also not a direct sequel (which makes sense, as the original didn’t really leave room for a direct sequel). So this was better, but also almost a totally different kind of scary movie.

In fact, this one reminded me a lot of The Den (which might be kind of a spoiler already?), which isn’t a bad thing!

Unsane (2018)

I can’t believe I hadn’t seen this movie before! It seems right up my alley - Steven Soderbergh directed, shot entirely on an iPhone 7 Plus, some familiar faces in the mix.

So yeah, I liked it.

Urban Legend (1998)

I like this movie a lot, though admittedly that’s probably more for the sense of nostalgia and whimsy I get watching it than any cinematic achievements of the movie itself. It’s a very dated movie, and while the story holds up after almost two decades, most of the pop culture references don’t. And there are a lot of pop culture references in this film.

The dialogue is awful at its worst and just slightly off at its best, and the characters are just as flat and cliched as the urban legends they’re studying. There are a lot of stereotypes and folks who seem more like caricatures than characters in this film, but none more so than Natalie’s (played by Alicia Witt) roommate Tosh the goth (wait, seriously?) played by Danielle Harris. Harris wasn’t bad, but are the writers expecting me to believe that anyone who considered themselves goth would actually ask a chatroom if any “gothie boys” were around? Because, well, I definitely don’t believe that.

Us (2019)

I struggle a bit on rating this one. It has all these fantastic elements of a really good horror movie - a stellar cast, an understated and well-placed score, a unique and interesting premise, and yet…for me it’s just too. long.

V/H/S (2012)

VHS seems like a strange concept for an anthology made in 2012. The concept is questionable when the one “tape” contains footage from a secret spy camera in someone’s glasses and even more questionable when another tape contains a recorded FaceTime interaction.

V/H/S: Viral (2014)

Well, this is definitely the most surreal of the three V/H/S films. Which seems fitting right now.

Vacancy (2007)

I liked this movie, but it annoyed me too much to rate it any higher than 3 out of 5. For one thing, the opening credits are way over the top. Before anything even happens, you’re listening to this crazy upbeat action movie type of song and the credits are rolling across the screen in giant colorful blocks. It’s weird, and way longer than it needs to be.

The story is somewhat original, but the characters are so boring. I never quite care about the characters enough to be invested in their survival, which makes it hard for me to really like this movie. Overall it’s kind of like a less entertaining version of The Strangers.

Valentine (2001)

I’m of the opinion that the best way to celebrate any holiday is to curl up with some hot chocolate (or lemonade in the summer) and a good horror movie. Valentine isn’t exactly a good horror movie, but it was entertaining enough and definitely appropriately festive.

Vampire (2011)

I watched this movie not knowing what to expect except for Kevin Zegers. I definitely got a lot of Kevin Zegers (I secretly/not-so-secretly love him) along with a steady parade of other familiar faces. I think Katharine Isabelle was the most surprising face to see – which is silly, because she’s popped up in a lot of the movies I’ve watched this year. And there’s not even the pretense of secrecy around how much I love Katharine Isabelle.

Vile (2011)

I have some problems with this movie but it’s above average in terms of entertainment value. As far as movies about a bunch of strangers waking up together in a room and realizing they’re totally screwed go…this one’s pretty good.

The cast is full of mostly unfamiliar faces – IMDb tells me they’re mainly from soap operas and single-episode TV drama cameos. The only face I really recognized was Maria Olsen, and I just learned her name tonight. As it turns out her IMDb filmography reads like a to-watch list for this blog, so you might be hearing more about her in the future.

Village of the Damned (1995)

I wish this movie were better. I think it might be the oldest remake I’ve watched yet? It’s old enough to be a Throwback Thursday pick itself!

Viral (2016)

So, I have a lot of thoughts about this movie but very few of them are cohesive enough to write out. I’ll start with this: I liked it. I liked it quite a bit. It was reasonably well acted and there were moments when it was downright terrifying.

So I liked it. But it definitely wasn’t perfect. I say it was well acted, which is true, but I didn’t buy the roles for the two sisters – having only seen Sofia Black-D’Elia (Emma) as Sage in Gossip Girl and Analeigh Tipton (Stacey) as the girl next door in Crazy, Stupid, Love I just couldn’t get behind that casting decision. I would have switched the girls’ roles if this were my movie.

Visions (2015)

This was another Netflix recommendation, and I have to say that Netflix has been on point lately. I really enjoyed this one.

The opening sequence was neat, and the background music was perfect. I also figured it was off to a great start when the opening credits listed Isla Fisher, Gillian Jacobs, John de Lancie, Jim Parsons, and Eva Longoria, and I was not disappointed. Everyone in the cast was awesome.

Vivarium (2019)

Well, this is a weird little movie.

Walled In (2009)

I might have a thing for Mischa Barton. It’s weird, though, because I’m not sure she’s a great actress. She seems to get cast as the somewhat spoiled, mildly haunted teenager/young adult in everything she’s ever done. I guess she pulls that off pretty well, though.

Cameron Bright, on the other hand, is a pretty great actor. Especially for someone so young. He’s been in several things and I’ve always been really impressed.

Watcher (2022)

Okay, after a few movies in a row that I really liked (loved!), I’m back to a movie that was disappointing. This is another movie that was pretty hyped up for a while, so I was excited to finally get around to it…and was pretty disappointed.

We Summon the Darkness (2020)

This movie has been on my watch list for so long and now I’m almost wishing it had just stayed there. I was so disappointed by it and I don’t even really have the words to explain why.

What Keeps You Alive (2018)

When I was watching (and not totally enjoying) Jigsaw I was thinking a few of the actors looked really familiar (in addition to a barely recognizable Laura Vandervoort), and it turns out, yes, two of them are in THIS movie I’d seen before.

When a Stranger Calls (1979)

I was really torn on how to rate this one. The opening and closing were fantastic, but the whole middle seemed to drag on. And it’s not a long movie.

White Settlers (2014)

Have you ever had the desire to go off the grid and move to the countryside in the middle of nowhere? This movie will shake that desire out of you pretty quickly. In fact, you might just find yourself shaken in general after watching this one (I certainly did).

Wishcraft (2002)

This is not a four-star movie. Honestly, it’s probably not really a three-star movie. But it was SO FUNNY, I have to give it extra credit for that.

Within (2016)

I’m kind of hungry and kind of tired, so this will be short.

While the premise was interesting the story itself fell flat. The performances were fine but the characters empty.

It’s not a bad movie but it’s not very original or anything special.

Wolf Creek (2005)

I haven’t watched an Australian movie in a while but I have been talking to a lot of Australians recently so I felt it only fitting to watch this one tonight. To be clear though, no one I’ve been talking to is anything like anyone in this movie, except for the fact that they’re a person (and these characters are barely that).

Wrong Turn (2003)

I’ll admit, a movie has to be pretty bad for me to rate it lower than 3/5…and this one got pretty close. But as my dad once said (and I happen to agree), “I would watch Eliza Dushku brush her teeth for 45 minutes.” So Eliza Dushku, the extra one’s for you.

You're Next (2013)

I really like this one. I remember talking about this one with my friend Art who also really likes this one. It’s the first thing I ever saw AJ Bowen in (whose name I can never match with the face at first), and the first thing I ever saw Sharni Vinson in. And Sharni Vinson is awesome in this movie. She kicks some serious ass.

She kicks so much ass, in fact, that the first time I watched this movie I looked her up and immediately watched as many of her movies as possible. Okay, really I only watched Patrick, which is awesome and also has Charles Dance in it, but that’s a story for another night.